Football funnies

NEWSFLASH!
Didier Drogba was banned from attending Frank Lampard's mum's funeral - they were afraid he'd dive in the box.
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NEWSFLASH!
Chelsea's Stamford Bridge groundsmen have won the award for the best playing surface in the Premiership. It was an expected victory though, with the crap they put out on the field every weekend.

Chelsea 2-1 United

Another twist in the tail as Chelsea completed a just about deserved win at Stamford Bridge. Ronaldo and Fletcher had two efforts cleared off the line as they chased the game, but United ultimately paid the price for the slow start. More worryingly, Vidic was stretchered off with what looked like concussion with Barcelona beckoning.

Nani was his infuriatingly indecisive self. Where Ronaldo might have punished Chelsea for their clack defending, the 38-goal maestro was rested on the bench.

What this all means is that United must win their remaining two games to confirm the title. Failing which, Chelsea will be ready to pounce.

Arsenal 1-1 Chelsea

Chelsea must know their game is up. The icing on the cake would be to see a mass brawl in this game or extremely destructive tackling from the erstwhile sissy Gunners. That would mean suspensions and injuries galore in time for the FA Cup Final. Anyhow, anything other than a win for Jose's Blues will mean party time for United, and Stamford Bridge being turned into the host for a coronation ceremony. Now that would be the cherry on top.
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And we've done it without kicking a ball. Arsenal did us a favour by holding 10-man Chelsea to a 1-1 draw. We are the champions!

ESPNSoccernet's Match Report