Seng Kang Primary

Just finished a whole-day meeting at school. I must admit it was not what I expected.

Firstly, the principal, Mrs Lew, although she prefers to be called Lan Chin. She's more from the Miss Chua Soh Leng-type (Punggol Pri) of principal. She looks like Shirley, and from what I can observe, possesses a true Christ-like character. Her words are so encouraging and she used her sharing to marvellous effect.

While other principals would deign to use the time to talk about policies and programmes, she did it differently. Yes, she was talking about a new initiative called Invitational Education, but she talked about it with such conviction and belief that she really sold me on the idea. I'll probably even use it in Professionals for our module on communication, and I told her so.

I could sense that God knew I needed some encouragement as I was not doing a good job of getting used to teaching life again. Her session on something called unintentional disinvitation (or being unintentionally disinviting) resonated with me. It's basically a scenario where people unwittingly make themselves unapproachable. We were asked to give a personal experience of this, and she shared her example of aunties asking nephews/nieces when they are getting married every CNY - they mean well, but it's just a complete turn-off. *winks to Yinglei*

My example was just as explicit, and I believe God was giving me an opportunity to be open to my colleagues. Bear in mind that I knew 5% of the people in the room, and that some have never talked to me or even seen me. I shared my experience of people recommending cures of eczema to me and how despite their good intentions, it was a bugbear for me. It allowed me to appeal for their understanding, as well as help them understand how to relate to me with me on this sensitive issue. I told them to keep their cures to themselves, and tell me when my skin looks good not bad. I sincerely hope my honesty will make it easier for me to break the ice with them, as I'm not a very sociable person and struggle to make close friends outside of church.

Throughout the session, Lan Chin was encouraging and effusive with praise of people's honesty, and found ways to use visuals to get her ideas across. I badly wanted to pee/doze off, but I found I didn't dare to, lest I miss something important/interesting - such was the engagement.

To top it all off, she asked for a volunteer to read a list out, and I just felt compelled to volunteer, partly cos I haven't heard my radio voice in a while. After I had read the meaningful list of paradoxical commandments, she turned around and told everyone she was giving me the book I had just read from. What a gesture! I really admire her optimism and zest for life and such infectious leadership has sort of hooked me. That's the power of inspirational leadership by example.

I hope to do that some day, where someone turns around and says I've inspired them. Till then, I have next week's lesson plans to write. =[

Dr Joyce Lim, dermatologist extraordinaire

Joyce Lim is a bit of a quack after all. After all the money I paid, she actually managed to misdiagnose my ringworm as eczema. Oh well, she wasn't the first to make that mistake; Dr Hia did too. Dr Leow Yung Hian of the NSC verified this with a skin scrape so I guess that's that. Starting a course of oral anti-fungal medication that may lead to a loss of sense of taste. I'll see him in late-May when the ringworm should've died out and the effects of steroid worn off.
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16 Apr 2008, 1212hrs
Went on 14 Apr as I was on leave that day. Cost me $274 in all, and $100 just for talking to her. She sounded confident about making things better for me. I inormed her of my financial situation and she kindly agreed to refer me to an ex-colleague of hers at the National Skin Centre who could follow up on my case effectively. This way, I can use my CSC card so I don't need to pay a bomb every time.

The procedure is a little cumbersome and takes getting used to. Bath oils, steroid lotions, moisturising milk - you name it, I got it. Most intriguingly, a damp pyjama method that I've decided not to do, where you wear damp pyjamas after applying the creams, and then a dry pyjamas on top. This is supposed to help retain the moisture so everything can be absorbed more effectively. This one is a little too strange for me.
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4 Mar 2008, 1712hrs
God has given me a sign! Rev David Brett, during this morning's sermon, mentioned the words 'doctor' and '$100' in the same breath. I'm gonna make that appointment. Supposed to restart steroids on 5 Mar 2008 but seems good enough to treat without Prednisalone.

Dr Joyce Lim
Tel: 68349159
Office: 11th floor, Paragon

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29 Feb 2008, 1212hrs
My principal recommended a dermatologist, having seen herself and her son being treated by her. She was prety persuasive and even offered to call for me. When she mentioned that Dr Lim was based at Paragon, my heart sank. She said her fees were reasonable. I think she meant reasonable to her.

My fears were justified when Jasmine called Dr Lim's office and politely enquired the consultation fee. Ladies and gentlemen, we are talking a minimum three-figure sum, of which I can claim $10. What can Dr Lim possibly tell me that no other GP or National Skin Centre specialist has not told me for the bargain fee of $100+?

Should I stay, or should I go?

Dead Sea mud

Was walking in Raffles City when I got stopped with the familiar eczema question. "Here we go again," I thought. Happened to be this non-Asian guy, and we were waiting for Angela to choose jelly bean flavours, so why not?

Turned out he was selling mud from the Dead Sea, supposedly packed with minerals. I tried it on my wrist and must say I could feel the sulphur opening up my pores and everything, and perhaps absorbing the toxins and whatnot.

I was very impressed with his (he was a Jew named Ziv) unimposing attitude. We Singaporeans have much to learn. As he put it, when he tried to sell something, some Singaporeans tried to sell him something too!

Anyhow, it's a discounted $60 for 750ml of it. Expensive for mud, surely, but I was close to giving it a shot. But on Ziv's advice, I'm gonna do some research first. =]

You can find out more, like I did, at http://www.cleopatraschoice.com/dead-sea-mud-benefits.php

Eczema update

Despite a humid and active day at Ker Toh Loh, managed not to scratch a lot. Am relying on Cetirizine, an oral anti-histamine, in the absence of Prednisalone. Must rest, eat and hydrate well in the meantime.
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There seems to be a trend. The steroids work for the first week, then the effect starts to tail off. Tomorrow's the last day of steroids and hence it's off to Dr Hia again. I can just feel the eczema being suppressed, though it's still there. I can feel it. But I pray it stays away even though I get off steroids. I can't continue like this.
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Steroids have never worked so well. I haven't enjoyed such quality of life for a long while. I pray this will be the first step to getting some semblance of a life back. But going out today with no flannel, cream or even a bag was liberating. One more week of this and I'm off it, so I wanna make the most of it. Then have to monitor my progress.
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I am ultra-susceptible to heatiness and its causes nowadays. A late night, too much or too little sleep, the wrong food, stress, or no reason whatsoever: anything could trigger an outbreak. Outbreaks usually mean inflamed skin and extreme itchiness, followed by extreme exfoliation and widespread exfoliation or peeling. The amount of dead skin I sweep up each day is literally by the handful.

My upper lip area and ears refuse to heal or even dry and remain distinctly uncomfortable, itchy and unpleasant to look at. I probably don't mind the eczema on the limbs, but the face is really a bummer.

I am unable to take part in any activities that cause me to sweat or increase my heart rate, which obviously includes football and any active sport. My eyes water and tire easily because of rhinitis and my nose constantly runs because of sinitis; both conditions are linked to the eczema. Any shock I get, like a loud noise, brings a rush of blood to my head, which makes it itchy all over again.

All these symptoms are being treated by a concoction of Chinese herbs and medicine that constitutes a systematic and long-term approach to healing. It costs about $250 each month, so I'm glad my parents are helping out with $200. I also use wet towels with ice to alleviate the itch, though I can only do so for 20 minutes at a time before I need to moisturise, as the skin gets extremely dry.

I constantly receive well-meaning comments about how bad I look and recommended cures, which I can't ignore because they are borne of good intention.

I hate this eczema from the bottom of my heart and the depth of my soul. I urge you to pray with me whenever you think of me:

"Lord, I claim Your healing for Aaron in Jesus' name for You are Jehovah Rapha - God our Healer (Exo 15:26). I trust in Your promise of healing which You have given Aaron when you said that he will 'laugh' at his condition in days to come (Job 8:21-22). I rebuke the eczema and declare that it has no place in the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1Co 6:19). I also declare that all food is God-made and is not impure (Act 11:9), and that Aaron will not suffer any side effect even when eating foods he is supposedly allergic to. I pray You will give him peaceful sleep (Psa 127:2), improve his condition and complexion, and remove the itchiness. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!"

Happy birthday to me!

Many thanks to all the people who have wished me. God bless you for remembering! The only thing I want from God for my birthday is to be healed of my eczema. Pray or me whenever you can. =]

Eczema excoriation

I'm getting quite frustrated. My skin was so bad today it felt my whole face had swelled up. It was really scary. I think it was the stress I felt from my first observed lesson.

It's really frustrating as whenever I don't put the steroid cream it gets inflamed, and when I do it peels like mad. I really need a breakthrough.

Sinusitis

At least I think that's how it's spelt. Feel some fluid in my sinus, a cavity behind your nose and eyes, such that when I tilt my head down, it causes it to hurt. It's supposedly inflamed and is causing my skin to infame accordingly, in addition to causing my eye to tear. Taking antibiotics and on MC for today.

Fever!

I got a fever that's stuck with me for the last two days. The higher body temperature has worsened my face eczema but I trust it will recede when I recover. Had to cancel my driving, tuition and can't go for prayer meeting tonight. Sigh.
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Hit 38.9C at 4am this morning.

Mango madness!

Went for a dinner buffet at Straits Kitchen, Grand Hyatt yesterday and had a really super-full dinner. Almost had a heart attack when I saw the $48 bill.

Anyhow, I prayed before the buffet that I would truly be able to enjoy the buffet without worrying about after-effects. And so I ate everything except the prawn noodle soup, which is the last frontier for me, but mainly because I didn't fancy the spicy soup. I did load up on durian ice-cream and mango pudding though, among other Malay [can't remember], Chinese [Buddha Jumps Over the Wall!] and Indian [chicken tikka!] delicacies, with no side effects whatsoever. When I did feel a bit of an itch coming on, I prayed immediately to remind the devil that he had no power over me.

Next stop: Joo Chiat hei mee!

Our first football game of 2007

Thank God for the wonderful weather we enjoyed yesterday when we played football.

Before the game I was just believing in God that I would be well enough to play and suffer no side effects.

Firstly, He gave us very good weather: breezy and cloudy.

Secondly, I had a pretty good game, and I wasn't feeling that itchy throughout.

Finally, one day on, my skin hasn't acted up at all.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the power of prayer, even for something as trivial as a football game.

Anyhow, Teckseng scored twice to give us the lead, then the other team pulled one back before Ben scored the equaliser.

Everything was good-tempered, which was all we could've wanted.

Global Day of Prayer launch

In the end, two days took their toll. Jasmine and I were both not feeling well after insufficient sleep because of Saturate and early morning practice the next morning. We came at 8am and finished by 930am; we should've come at like 830 lor.

Anyway, Jasmine became feverish and literally had to nap in the National Stadium, and I had to be her pillow-cum-face sponger. I was feeling unusually itchy and so couldn't focus on the prayers at all. Was particularly irritated at a speaker's amazingly chiong hei description of post-event traffic conditions. Put those in the bulletin, for goodness sake! No one wants to pay attention to hear you ramble on! And he went on to refer to the hearing-impaired and mute as "deaf and dumb". How un-politically-correct can you get?!

Saturate worship conference

The last night was AWESOME! Just felt the move and touch of God like I've never felt before. Just felt so in sync with God and felt His love. God reiterated His promise of healing to me again. Prayed for my family present and future, my skin, Jasmine and so much more. Will blog more when at a less unearthly time.

I will laugh!

Went to Maggie's place so we could pray together for my healing. Jasmine was there too, of course.

What followed was an amazing time of fellowship, sharing and learning, full of the richness of God's word and truths. Not to mention a great dinner!

I realise now that there are so many things about God that we don't understand and that we've only scratched the surface. Through my daily devotion and prayer, I hope to know God in a deeper way and for Him to reveal His word for me through his Word.

I also shared quite a bit about my life for the first time, my frustrations and setbacks, my victories and God's deliverance. It felt really good to open up.

Towards the end, after we had finished praying, Maggie said she had a word from God about me. She said simply that I would laugh. I had to check myself. "I will what?" I asked, not believing what I had heard.

"In days to come, you will laugh. Laugh at your enemy, at your eczema," among other things, she explained. Unfortunately, "in days to come" is an indefinite adverbial of time. It doesn't literally mean days; instead it means "at some time in the future". And so I don't know when my healing will come, but I know it will come sooner or later. Pastor Koo had corroborated this yesterday. Maggie did warn that God gives us a word sometimes to prepare for spiritual attack. But God's grace is sufficient for me.

As I've shared recently, I am now at peace, because I am comfortable in my own skin. Pardon the pun. But what I mean is that I know that whatever happens, God is in control. Good or bad, He's in control. And I know He will come through for me, as He has promised.

As God (not luck) would have it, Joshua and Benjamin called me up and said they wanted to meet. So they cycled over and though we did not spend long and I spent most of the time scratching from sweat and mosquitoes, I stayed long enough to encourage them both and give my testimony. I'm sure it spoke to them, else God would not have arranged it as such.

As I type this, I am preparing to go to my practicum school (Rosyth School). And I feel a little less nervous knowing my God is going with me. I believe He will let me excel there, eczema notwithstanding.

I wait eagerly to laugh loudest, longest, and last. Muhahaha! =]

PS: Manfred has his own drum set!

For All You've Done by Don Moen

I normally don't like Don Moen songs, cos they're a little old-fashioned, but this one really spoke to me in church today. Well, actually we didn't even sing it, and God spoke to me while I was on the way to the washroom.

He assured me that He was in control despite my eczema, and that He still wanted the best for me. He also assured me that He would be glorified in this situation.

And so this is my prayer to Him, believing in my healing and submitting to His superior will.
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For all You've done
For all You're going to do
We give You thanks
And lift our praise to You

We give thanks
We give praise
For we know
That all things work together
For our good
We give thanks
We give praise
For by faith
We know Your grace
Will see us through

For all those things
That we don't understand
We come by faith
And place them in Your hands

Even if we stumble
Even if we fall
You will not forsake us
You are King and Lord of all
Lord of all

Cycling

Went cycling at East Coast Park again. Something was wrong with the handlebars as the steering felt so loose. Enjoyed it even more though it was tough towards the feeling hot and bothered with the eczema again.

Also managed to spend $120 at the dentist on sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) sand-blasting my teeth and getting a filling done. Turns out that I need to have a wisdom tooth removed soon. Oh no. Injection in the mouth? I'll just faint.