Friday, December 10, 2010

Referee Claus Bo Larsen unimpressed with Ronaldo


Referee Claus Bo Larsen has named Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo his 'most annoying player'.
Ronaldinho, Claus Bo Larsen
GettyImagesClaus Bo Larsen took charge of Milan's defeat to Ajax on Wednesday
The FIFA Top Class Referee, who took charge of his final Champions League game on Wednesday, claims Ronaldo is always looking to buy free-kicks and that they have to be prepared for his behaviour ahead of Champions League games.
"He's always out to get a cheap free-kick, especially at home," he told Ekstra Bladet. "We tended to talk before games about how he'd go down easily.
"We know not to be biased, but we have to be prepared. He has a clean slate at the start of every game. When he would lie down after failing to win a free-kick, he smiled at me because he knew I didn't fall for his theatrics."
Larsen also said he is on good terms with Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson.
"I have a good relationship with Ferguson, even though he sputters and shouts and screams at referees," he said. "I'll never forget him coming to knock on my door after a Champions League game at Old Trafford.
"He simply said that it had been the best refereeing performance in years. That was great."

The Cast of GLEE Perform on THE X FACTOR



I think Finn is popular cos he most resembles a boring Brit. Watch Mercedes pwn Simon at 4:11.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Dr M's legacy of moneyed Melayu Baru by Helen Ang


Helen Ang
Feb 18, 10
3:00pm

If Dr Mahathir Mohamad lives to greet 2020, he may see not only his son Mokhzani listed among the country's richest individuals but also many more brothers, daughters, and kith and kin of his Umno colleagues and cronies.

Mahathir (below right) would die a happy man if in the annual rich list, Malay billionaires outnumbered the nons. The chip on his shoulder is that Malays are too young to be aware of and to “experience the bitterness and pain of life as a colonized people” [from his 1986 essay Quo vadis Malaysia ?].
His exaggerated fear – “will the Malays who were colonised 400 years be again conquered and enslaved” – is a recurrent theme. His way of assuaging this deep-seated anxiety is through the assurance of the power of money. He wants Malays to be self-assured and successful but the Mahathir measure is calibrated in ringgit and sen.

In his 1970s book The Malay Dilemma, Mahathir wrote: “With the existence of the few rich Malays at least the poor Malays can say that their fate is not entirely to serve the rich non-Malays.” The post-May 13 tutorial frames his bete noireChinese as living “in huge houses” who regarded Malays as Ahmads “only fit to drive their cars”.

“From the point of view of racial ego, and this ego is still strong, the unseemly existence of Malay tycoons is essential,” Mahathir had avowed.

From the point of view of our ex-premier, creating a mere handful of super-duper elites is okay, as long as they are Malay. These captains of industry will show the world that Melayu pun boleh. On a pile of newly minted money, Malays can stand tall.

Excesses of the nouveau riche

The profligacy of 'Melayu Baru' role models is not usually made known to the unwashed masses. We only get an inkling of their fabulous wealth when a politician's home is burgled. Details of the police report tell of 'small change' taken from the safe, or Rolexes, designer clothing and loose jewelry stolen.

Divorce proceedings are yet another enlightening primary source of information. We learned a few years ago how one ageing Datin was given aRM50 million settlement by ex-hubby the former minister 
Effendi Norwawi (right), whose much younger second wife is the glamorous actress Tiara Jacquelina.

Lower-ranked politicians don't do too badly for themselves either.

When former Negri Sembilan state assemblyman for Seri Menanti, Hishamuddin Abdul Kadir, 60, was served divorce papers by his 34-year-old wife Norish Karman last July, she asked for five houses, five cars and his company shares.

In her filing at the Syariah High Court, the starlet sought their RM2 million home in Bangi , three condos in KL and another house in Seremban ; their cars a BMW 6-series, a Nissan Murano , a Nissan Elgrand , a Rexton Stavic and a Toyota Caldina ; RM1,500 monthly maintenance for each child (they have three children); RM900 for the maid plus her own personal expenses of RM6,000 monthly. Oh yes, and the shares too.

This slice of life from the Melayu Baru landscape shows Umno leadership by example.

Too nice by nature

In his opus on eugenics, Mahathir proffered a “therapeutic diagnosis” on what hindered the progress and competitive abilities of the dilemma-ed Malay.

His treatise said Malays were economically backward because they were by nature too nice, and thus unfailingly preyed upon by the “aggressive” and “predatory” Chinese.

His prescriptive treatment of the malaise was for the community to radically alter their 'adat' which in his opinion was an impediment.

The Malay Dilemma advances the most amazing insights, such as this gem: “If race differentiates citizens, then there must also be racial loyalty. Racial loyalty must involve privileges for one's race and denial of rights to others.”

Mahathir views that “Under these conditions, each member of a race must be instinctively guided by considerations of profit and loss for himself. It follows that the more privileges of a given race the greater the gain for the individual member. 'Each member must therefore seek to enhance the position of his race so that he himself may gain in the long run. If this fact of race, race loyalty and privilege are understood, then attitudes on race relations in Malaysia can be better appreciated.”

During his 22-year tenure, Mahathir had ample means to impose and implement his will.

Reengineering the Melayu marque 

Mahathir's pursuit of modernity is Western-oriented, with a nod to Japan during his 'Look East' phase. Under him, Malaysia became car-makers like the Americans, Europeans and Japanese. Mahathir currently wants Malays to master science through English.

True enough, Japanese are in the thick of technology but Mahathir forgets that they did in on their own terms. Japanese until today don't speak English capably. They did not copy the whites and abandon the core of their self-identity.

With the Meiji Restoration, they embraced the technological age with a vengeance but kept their social mores intact.

On the other hand, the Malay Dilemma is a “blaze of amateur sociology” (to borrow from Nobel-winning economist Robert Solow ) to explain Malay lack of productivity and the community's meagre share of national income. That before the NEP Malays were floundering for which Mahathir ascribed to their traditional value system and this held them back from entrepreneurship.

He decried the conservative rural community's propensity to prepare for the hereafter as “a form of escapism from the realities of life, an insulation against the envy Malays must feel for the prosperity of other races”.

To compete with the drive of those other races, he insisted Malays must change their code of ethics , and with thoroughness and speed. He believed attitude to work and money is key to economic advancement. He also believed the Malay approach in this respect was to their disadvantage.

He encouraged Malays to go into business in a big way. But for them to thrive in an environment already dominated by the Chinese, Mahathir felt that the Malay “innocent” must radically transform.

Enter Melayu Baru 2.0
Playing behavioral scientist in 1970, Mahathir saw Malays as polite, generous, having good breeding and possessing “the quality of moderation”.

He felt that to successfully compete, they had to put aside their temperance, fatalism, caution and indecisiveness, as well as leave behind their courtesy, accommodation, tolerance and spirit of compromise.

In short, to get themselves out of their perceived predicament, Malays needed to be remodeled. But into what? As quoted earlier, into a people who are race loyal and willing to deny the rights of others in the course of the rat race.

This religio-ethnocentricity that Mahathir moulded can be glimpsed in the country's present indifference to the plight of those outside the charmed circle – in the inertia of official response to the earthquake in Haiti , to the despair of the Tamil underclass in our own backyard.
Nothing much for Haiti Malaysia gave tens of millions in cash and Mercy Malaysia immediately sent seven missions to Gaza in 2009 following Israel's attack which left between 1,200 and 1,400 Palestinians dead. As far as I know, Malaysia did not send any significant humanitarian relief or medical teams (donation drives privately headed by Unicef Malaysia and Red Crescent apart) to Haiti where 230,000 were killed.

Three days before last Christmas, there was a small news report on a 68-year-old mentally unsound Indian vagabond found dead in a pool of blood. CCTV camera showed the assailant covering the victim's head with a plastic bag and punching him on a corridor of a shop in Georgetown. This heartbreaking story should have sparked national outrage, but it hardly blipped on the radar of public consciousness.

What has the Mahathir solution to the Malay dilemma ultimately wrought?
He handpicked Khir Toyo (left) to be Selangor Menteri Besar. He is now promoting foul-mouthed ally Ibrahim Ali as Perkasa chairman. His mediocre son Mukhriz is a deputy minister. These are among Dr M's tangible Melayu Baru legacies.

More than anyone else, the man has singlehandedly done untold damage to the Melayu Lama adab of graciousness and saddled us with the truly graceless.

HELEN ANG used to be a journalist. In future, she would like to be a practising cartoonist. But for the present, she is in the NGO circles and settling down to more serious writing and reading of social issues. 

Monday, December 06, 2010

Danish actor who inspired Tintin dies

So this is what Tintin will look like when 98.


Danish actor who inspired Tintin has died



Danish actor Palle Huld, who reportedly inspired a Belgian cartoonist to create the comic book reporter Tintin, has died. He was 98.
Huld died Nov. 26 in a retirement home in Copenhagen. The cause of death was not given.
Huld was a stage actor with Denmark's Royal Theater, and he appeared in 40 Danish films between 1933 and 2000.
However, his fame came before his acting career began.
In 1928, he won a competition organized by Danish newspaper that wanted to send a teenager would-be-reporter around the globe.
For 44 days, the 15-year-old traveled to North America, Japan, Siberia and Germany, and was greeted by 20,000 people upon his return to Copenhagen.
Herge, the pen name of Belgian author Georges Remi, heard of Huld's journey which reportedly inspired him to create Tintin, the globe-trotting reporter.

http://www.mail.com/intl/Article.aspx/world/europe/APNews/Europe/20101205/U_EU-Obit-Denmark-Huld?pageid=1

Sunday, December 05, 2010

AFF Suzuki Cup 2010: Singapore 2-1 Myanmar



Impressed with Singapore's fortitude to come back from 1-0 down. Good work, especially on the left from Khairul Amri and up front from the much-maligned Agu Casmir. Terrible positioning from Precious and Baihakki, though. Such huge gaps the Myanmarese could drive a tank through.

http://bolabang.blogspot.com/2010/12/aff-suzuki-cup-group-b-singapore-2.html

Friday, December 03, 2010

Pinoy pinups

I suspect The Younghusband brothers will be very popular among football's female followers. James and Phil respectively:

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

An Ode to Tigers (Calvin & Hobbes)

My tiger, it seems, is running 'round nude
This fur coat must have made him perspire
It lies on the floor - should this be construed
As a permanent change of attire?
Perhaps he considers its colours passe
Or maybe it fit him too snug
Will he want it back? Should I put it away?
Or use it right here as a rug?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Definitions

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Friends in high places

Just read an article featuring Ex Cobra Gold. Guess who's the guy in charge? COL Chan Wing Kai, Chief Guards Officer. So, in 2SIB, I've now served the Chief Officers of two foremost vocations in the SAF - Commandos and Guards.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Little Mermaid - Under the Sea

The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea

Down here all the fish is happy
As off through the waves they roll
The fish on the land ain't happy
They sad 'cause they in their bowl
But fish in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate

Under the sea
Under the sea
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee
We what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea we off the hook
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles
Under the sea
Under the sea
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the sturgeon an' the ray
They get the urge 'n' start to play
We got the spirit
You got to hear it
Under the sea

The newt play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they soundin' sharp
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul
(Yeah)
The ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout rockin' out
The blackfish she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh that blowfish blow

Under the sea
Under the sea
When the sardine
Begin the beguine
It's music to me
What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here
know how to jam here
Under the sea
Each little slug here
Cuttin' a rug here
Under the sea
Each little snail here
Know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter
Under the water
Ya we in luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Orianthi Panagaris

Interjection

An interjection or exclamation describes a noun without a grammatical connection with the rest of the sentence and simply expresses emotion on the part of the speaker, although most interjections have clear definitions. Filled pauses such as uh, er, um, are also considered interjections. Interjections are generally uninflected function words and have sometimes been seen as sentence-words, because they can replace or be replaced by a whole sentence (they are holophrastic). Sometimes, however, interjections combine with other words to form sentences, but not with finite verbs. When an exclamation point is not needed, a comma can take the place.
Interjections are used when the speaker encounters events that cause these emotions — unexpectedly, painfully, surprisingly, or in many other sudden ways. However, several languages have interjections that cannot be related to emotions.
The word "interjection" literally means "thrown in between" from the Latin inter ("between") and iacere ("throw").
Interjections are words used to express strong feeling or sudden emotion. They are included in a sentence usually at the start to express a sentiment such as surprise, disgust, joy, excitement, or enthusiasm.

Conventions like Hello, Bye, and Goodbye are interjections, as are exclamations like Cheers! and Hurray!. In fact is like a noun or an a pronoun, very often they are characterized by exclamation marks depending on the stress of the attitude or the force of the emotion they are expressing. Well can also be used as an interjection, for example when put at the beginning of a sentence. Much profanity (expletive) takes the form of interjections. Some linguists consider the pro-sentences yes, no, amen and okay as interjections, since they have no syntactical connection with other words and rather work as sentences themselves. Expressions "Excuse me!", "Sorry!", and similar ones often serve as interjections. Interjections can be phrases or even sentences, as well as words, such as "Oh!" or "Wow!".

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Parable of the Lost Wallet

In Jesus' parables of the lost coin, lost sheep and prodigal son, there is a common theme: despite an initial loss, they all end in celebration.

And so my preoccupation about how to cope with the fallout of my lost wallet has been replaced by a thought of how to celebrate the resurrection of my lost wallet.

Grimly, I listed the contents of my wallet at the police station. I calculated a net loss of about $400 in cash and kind, excluding those of priceless sentimental value. I chided myself for being so careless. Ruminating on the erstwhile contents of my wallet, I was rather embarrassed at the things that were found there, especially all the membership cards from F&B outlets! We really are such foodies.

I traversed Sengkang in search of it: looked at home, in school and even painstakingly retraced my route from home to school that morning - nothing. I was in despair and had given up hope. I remarked to the police officer as I signed the report, "What are the odds, eh?" He had said that they would call me if someone returned it.

Eventually, I found out this morning from my colleague Jennifer that I had left it in my class cabinet. I still don't remember how it ended up there.

Long story short, to quote Counting Crows and Vanessa Carlton in Big Yellow Taxi: "You don't know what you've got till it's gone."

So, c'mon - let's celebrate! But maybe after SA2 lah.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Insults

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather
than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
- Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
- Robert Redford

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge.'
- Thomas Brackett Reed

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
- Billy Wilder

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
- Abraham Lincoln

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about. '
- Winston Churchill

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows
or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your
mistress."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Bobby Robson you legend!

A Newcastle fan who had been on a flight to London with Robson and his Toon squad once told me that one of the players told the rest a joke in English. After he'd finished and the laughter died down Sir Bobby repeated the punch line in Spanish, French and Dutch just so his international players wouldn't miss out on the gag - a legacy of his international stature in the game.
But, of course, Sir Bobby was also known for those comic moments he produced inadvertently and none more so than this gem - another from his time on Tyneside. After a match a journalist asked Toon striker Shola Ameobi, "Do you have a nickname?" Ameobi said, "No, not really." The reporter enquired further, "What do the lads call you?" Ameobi replied, "Shola'. 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?" the reporter added. Shola said: "Carl Cort."

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Behind every man there is a smart woman

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eye, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Monday, September 21, 2009

Presentable

Likewise, 'presentable' harkens from the days where debutantes were presented at the ball.

Source: The Open University. (1998). Block 5: Myths and conventions. (p. 27) Milton Keynes, UK: The Open University.

Obscene

The word 'obscene' is a corruption of 'off-scene', as obscene scenes were usually depicted off-stage in a play.

Source: The Open University. (1998). Block 5: Myths and conventions. (p. 11) Milton Keynes, UK: The Open University.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Most irritating Beatles covers

"Hey Jude" by Tiny Tim and the Brave Combo
"Mission Impossible/Norwegian Wood" by The Alan Copeland Singers
"Something" by Telly Savalas
"Help!" by Mme. St. Onge
"Yellow Submarine" by Wendy Huang
"I Want to Hold Your Hand" by Cathy Berberian

From http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112966018&sc=fb&cc=fp

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Commonwealth Essay Competition (2004) Winner - Amanda Chong (Singapore) - 'What the Modern Woman Wants'

A 15-year-old Singaporean student, Amanda Chong, has won the 2004 Commonwealth Essay Competition. Amanda, a Raffles Girls Secondary School student, beat more than 5,000 other contestants to win the £500 prize in the Competition organised by the Royal Commonwealth Society (RCS). She topped the 16-18-year-old category for the annual literary award, by submitting a short story in a higher age category as a personal challenge to compete with writers older than herself.

Amanda's winning entry, 'What the Modern Woman Wants', focuses on the generational conflict of values between an old lady and her independent-minded daughter. Amanda said: "I got the inspiration for my essay from the book, 'The Joy Luck Club'. We were studying Asian American Literature in school. I was inspired to use mother-daughter relationships as a platform to further explore the themes of identity and what a modern woman wants. The message I wanted to convey was that one should not forsake their roots for the sake of success and that what our society holds important today are fleeting and ephemeral. I felt sad that modern society conditions us to believe that we can find happiness in material wealth. The story was more a hypothetical situation instead of a real life scenario or autobiography. Through my story, I attempted to convey the unique East-versus-West struggles and generation gaps that I felt were characteristic of young people in my country. I wanted to give a sense of my own identity and culture."

Amanda has had a fascination with words and a love for languages since she was young. "Writing has always been my passion and I've been writing stories even before I could spell properly. Words to me are like a blank canvas, a medium to amplify my world-view and shape my own spheres: I consider this a form of empowerment."

In her story, Amanda describes the generational gap between the protagonist, Elaine, and her aged mother: "She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who openly defied her, calling her 'laotu' -- old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be 'modern' -- a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman."

Amanda, who is interested in drama, literature and history, is a member and councillor in the Creative Arts Programme for young writers run by the Gifted Education Branch and the National University of Singapore. She aims to become a lawyer and politician, and intends to "keep writing for the rest of my life."

Dr Charles Kemp, the Chief Examiner, said: "Amanda has written a powerfully moving and ironical critique of modern restlessness and its potentially cruel consequences. The writing is fluent and assured with excellent use of dialogue. The story is vividly told and full of insight and observation."

Soo Ling Yeo, Amanda's English language teacher, commented that her profound understanding and way with words has enabled Amanda to write with ease. Ms Yeo said: "What was clearly more remarkable was her sensitivity to the tensions that exist between generations -- traditions and pragmatism; perceptions of happiness and success; familial responsibilities and sacrifice; and the conflicts of cultures. Amanda's short story reveals an appreciation of the plight of the elderly that shows a maturity beyond her age."

A Singaporean last won the top prize in 2000, said Britain's Royal Commonwealth Society, which has been organising the competition since 1883. Singaporeans also came in second in the 14 to 15-year-old category, and fourth in the under-12s. Other winners included students from Australia, Canada and South Africa.

--------------

'What the Modern Woman Wants...' By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance''Liquidation', 'Assets' 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.

Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent.

The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. 'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.'

The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window,wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look.
The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.

'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine.The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'

Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.

'Yes,I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.

Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.

Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.

What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me.She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes.

She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb,bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had ticked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted.

Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen. She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood.

She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu, old fashioned.... She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.

Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The Gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood faceless with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's value. Her wants were so ephemeral, that of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion boutigues and yet her daughter had not found true happiness.

The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth, everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman but she would be forgotten once the windblows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter now that she had looked out of the temple gates. She saw her daughter speaking on the ophone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in from of the alter. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid ? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothig in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty souless shell at the alter.

The old woman watched the joss stick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady signed in resignation, as she bowed to the east obne final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder whey they cannotfind it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey poweder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter's face.

An empty _expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sown the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not to fast as she had done before.

Ma, Bee Choo finally said. "I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to mve out of the big house. The property market is ggod now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay us seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move into our apartment, we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...."

The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. "We'd get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out - but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that the apartment is rather small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you isif you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang -it's a Christian home and a very nice one."

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow.. I"ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! Hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there." " You'd be happier there, really." her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offering to cling tightly to, she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her soulders sag and her fingers trace the white seat.

Ma, her daughter asked, seaching the rear view window for her mother. "Is everything okay?

What had to be done, had to be done. "Yes" she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quitely.

It's for you, Ma! You will be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.

'I knew everything would be fine' Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hinderance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; money, status, career, love, power and now freedom without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down......

Yes she was free. Her phone butted urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. "Stock 10% increase"

Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her and while searching for the meaning of life in the 1 uminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible and she did not see her in tears.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Wonderwall of Broken Songs

Girl attacks BF in the groin over and over again -- and he just stands there and takes it

Probably caught cheating.

This woman was seen standing outside her car, hitting her boyfriend in the groin repeatedly with her shoe, and he just took the hits without retaliating.

She was also seen hitting him on the face.

STOMPer James, who took videos of the incident, said:

"This woman was seen stopping on the road shoulder, pounding on her BF and causing a major traffic jam.

"I hope that LTA gives her a ticket."
http://202.157.174.100/20090826-ss-groin/player.html

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dave Hill photography


090417 Girl on an Adventure - Behind the Scenes from Dave Hill on Vimeo.


http://www.davehillphoto.com/

Bavaria spoofs Heineken walk-in fridge

Heineken Walking Fridge

Singapore Lights Timelapse by Yeo Wee Han

Singapore Lights Timelapse from Weehan Yeo on Vimeo.

Red vs Blue - Fire Safety

Okinawa Chiraumi Aquarium (Kuroshio Sea) by Jon Rawlinson


Second-largest aquarium in the world

Daniel Radcliffe vs Japanese girl

Saturday, July 04, 2009

USA for Africa - We are the World

Haiku - Singapore

A little red dot
At the south end of Asia
We are an island

Managing Discontent by Wayne Cordeiro

We had a really informal ALG session yesterday night, just sitting around eating rambutans and mangosteens. In between, we learnt about how we can handle discontent in our lives, with authentic examples from Agape's 16-year history. Matthew, Jeannie, Jasmine & I took turns to regale the newer ones with stories from the past, just so that we could all learn from how others handled discontentment, and do better for ourselves in the future.

In view of all this, I am at least partly grateful for preventive H1N1 precautions in school. I have to go earlier to school and because I want to see Jasmine off before she goes even earlier to school, I sometimes reach school at 6.35am when I'm only due at 7.10am. I mean the general office and staff room aren't even open yet! I took the cue from a Christian colleague and use the time to dedicate the day to God. I have about 10-15 minutes alone with God and also talking to fellow believers about work-related struggles. Then the staff room opens and I go in to switch on my super-slow laptop. During that five-minute wait, I proclaim to God that I intend to spend the day in His joy, and I try my best to look for His joy in all situations.

The key verse that we shared in ALG was "David encouraged himself in the Lord", probably in 1/2 Samuel/Kings. And this was when his own men wanted to kill him! I learnt that it is my responsibility for how much joy and discontentment there is in my life. I intend to complain less, as it will only result in grudges and bitterness. I will spend time in solitude with God daily, praying and reading His Word, to encourage myself in Him. And if faced with conflict, I will approach the person in nearest authority to resolve it, and not blab about it to people who can't do anything about it.