12-year-old Fernando Torres vs AC Milan

He was that good even at 12.

Roman Pavlyuchenko - Member of Parliament

While Spurs (still) lay claim to having the same number of points as a toothpick (two), at least they have someone no other club has - a Member of Parliament.

Roman Pavlyuchenko has been elected MP in Stavropol Krai, southwest Russia. Maybe he can lobby Valdimir Putin for extra funds to buy a striker Roman CAN play with.