Tautology (rhetoric)

In rhetoric, a tautology is an unnecessary (and usually unintentional) repetition of meaning, using different words that effectively say the same thing twice (often originally from different languages). It is often regarded as a fault of style and was defined by Fowler as "saying the same thing twice". It is not necessary for the entire meaning of a phrase to be repeated; if a part of the meaning is repeated in such a way that it appears as unintentional or clumsy, then it may be described as tautology. On the other hand, a repetition of meaning which improves the style of a piece of speech or writing is not usually described as tautology, although it may be a logical tautology.

A rhetorical tautology can also be defined as a series of statements that comprise an argument, whereby the statements are constructed in such a way that the truth of the proposition is guaranteed. Consequently the statement conveys no useful information regardless of its length or complexity. The statement "If you can't find something (that you lost), you are not looking in the right place" is tautological, as is "It is always in the last place you look". It is true, but conveys no useful information. As a physical example, to play a game of darts where the dart board was full of bullseyes, could be called a "tautological" game. The player wouldn't lose. Any argument containing a tautological statement is thus flawed logically and must be considered erroneous.

A tautological argument is not an argument; a tautological game is not a game. Mathematical equations, such as E = mc2, are not tautologies. The terms on both sides of the equation are defined elsewhere independently. The equal sign does not mean "is defined by" but rather equal to, thus establishing an equivalence. Acceleration and mass independently don't equal force but their product MA as derived by Newton does, hence the equation F=MA isn't a tautology, but F=F would be.

Examples
A common form of tautology is using two forms of the same word in the same construction. E.g., the British supermarket Tesco sells a brand of lemon thyme which it describes as having an "aromatic aroma".[citation needed] Synonyms may also produce a tautology; "free gift" is tautologous because a gift, by definition, is something given without charge. Other such examples of tautology include "sufficiently adequate" and "new innovation". In phrases, tautology is present in sayings such as "I can see it with my own eyes", "suddenly, without warning" and "forward planning"/"planning ahead".

Repetitions of meaning in mixed-language phrases
Repetitions of meaning sometimes occur when multiple languages are used together, such as "the La Brea Tar Pits" (the The tar Tar Pits), "monsoon season" (season season), "the hoi polloi" (the the many), "Sierra Nevada mountain range" (Snowy Mountain Range mountain range), "Sahara Desert" (Deserts Desert), "Gobi Desert" (Desert Desert), "shiba inu dog" (short-haired dog dog), "Jirisan Mountain" (Jiri mountain mountain), "shrimp scampi" (shrimp shrimp), "Mississippi River" (Great-river river) "cheese quesadilla" (cheese cheesy-thing), "Lake Tahoe" (Lake Lake), "Faroe Islands" (Sheep Island Islands), and "Angkor Wat temple" (Angkor Temple temple). The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (The The Angels Angels of Anaheim). Possibly the most extreme example is "Torpenhow Hill" (Hill-hill-hill Hill, in four languages).

The tautological status of these phrases is somewhat subjective and can be harder to detect than monolingual varieties, since they are only perceived as tautologous by people who understand enough of each of the involved languages, and because of the way that words change meaning as they drift from one language to another. For example, chai is Hindi for "tea", but in the United States, where the phrase "chai tea" is common, what is referred to as "chai" is more precisely "Masala chai."

Similar examples of repetitions occur when multiple languages are used in the same geographic area, even when the populations are generally well aware of the meaning of the redundant words. In bilingual (French and English) areas of Canada, for example, people may refer to the "Pont Champlain Bridge" (Bridge Champlain Bridge). Tautologies like these occur more frequently in spoken English when printed materials compress the bilingual presentation (e.g. from the expected "Pont Champlain / Champlain Bridge" to "Pont Champlain Bridge"), a technique commonly used in Canada, New Mexico and other bilingual areas to save space on road signage, grocery packaging, etc. A New Mexico example is the Spanish placename Arroyo del Oso (a ravine running through Albuquerque), known in English as Bear Canyon, but sometimes appearing as "Arroyo del Oso Canyon" (Small-canyon of-the Bear Canyon) or even "Bear Canyon Arroyo" (Bear Canyon Small-canyon). Another example of this, both in Las Cruces, New Mexico and north of Tucson, Arizona, is that of Picacho Peak (picacho being peak in Spanish).

Redundant expansion of acronyms
In some cases an acronym or abbreviation is commonly used in conjunction with a word which is actually part of the shortened form. One of the better known examples of this is "PIN number", which is often used when explaining the concept. Other examples include ATM machine, RAID array, AC/DC current, LAN network, LPG gas, RPG game, ISBN number, Hot Water Heater and "HIV virus". This phenomenon is humorously, self-referentially referred to as RAS syndrome (Redundant Acronym Syndrome - syndrome).

For more details on this topic, see RAS syndrome.

Intentional repetition of meaning
A repetition of meaning may be intended to amplify or emphasize a certain aspect of the thing being discussed. For example, a gift is by definition free of charge, but one might talk about a "free gift" to emphasize that there are no hidden obligations, financial or otherwise, or that the gift is being given out of free will. This is related to the rhetorical device of hendiadys, where one concept is expressed through the use of two, for example "goblets and gold" meaning wealth, or "this day and age" to mean the present time. Superficially these expressions may seem tautologous, but they are stylistically sound because the repeated meaning is merely a stylized way to express a single concept.

Much Old Testament poetry features the same thing said twice, but in slightly different ways ('Deceit is their sole intention, their delight is to mislead', Psalm 62). In this example, it is not exactly the same statement in both cases (in the first, the singleness of purpose is highlighted, in the second the pleasure), but more or less the same thing is being affirmed. This can be found very many times in the Psalms, and in other areas of the Bible as well.

Further examples
Some of the notable quotes said by, or attributed to, baseball player and manager Yogi Berra are considered humorous because they are, on the surface, tautological, including "It ain't over till it's over", "We made too many wrong mistakes" and "You can observe a lot by watching."
In a 1988 campaign speech in Ohio, George H. W. Bush said, "It's no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another."[1]
The Tenth Amendment to the US Constitution: In New York v. United States, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor stated, "The Tenth Amendment likewise limits the power of Congress, but this limit is not derived from the text of the Tenth Amendment itself, which, as we have discussed, is essentially a tautology." O'Connor reasoned that the Tenth Amendment simply reiterated what was already built into the structure of the Constitution generally: When the States consented to the Constitution they expressly delegated certain powers to the Federal government. Implicitly, what was not given was necessarily retained by the states.
In his book Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams used the phrase, "Anything that happens, happens. Anything that in happening causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that in happening happens again, happens again. Though not necessarily in that order."
A story arc of the British science fiction television series Doctor Who was titled "The Deadly Assassin" — one only becomes an assassin by successfully committing murder. Originally, the title was intended to be "The Dangerous Assassin," but the title was changed by the producers as the title just "didn't sound right."
Richard B. Frank's history of the end of the Pacific War is titled Downfall: The End of the Imperial Japanese Empire. By definition, an empire is imperial.
The phrase "digital download": given that downloading is the transfer of binary or digital data from a higher level system to a lower one, all downloading is inherently digital.
Avenue Road is tautological since in most cases, an avenue is also a road.
The Hamilton Tiger-Cats are tautological, since tigers are cats, but its name is a merger of two earlier Hamilton teams.
In The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Kyon refutes his own argument when describing Haruhi as "Haruhi is Haruhi, nothing but Haruhi", because it is tautology.
---------
Source: Wikipedia

Oxford compiles list of top ten irritating phrases by Charlotte Bailey, Telegraph.co.uk

Heading the list was the expression 'at the end of the day', which was followed in second place by the phrase 'fairly unique'.

The tautological statement "I personally" made third place – an expression that BBC Radio 4 presenter John Humphreys has described as "the linguistic equivalent of having chips with rice."

Also making the top 10 is the grammatically incorrect "shouldn't of", instead of "shouldn't have".

The phrases appear in a book called Damp Squid, named after the mistake of confusing a squid with a squib, a type of firework.

The researchers who compiled the list monitor the use of phrases in a database called the Oxford University Corpus, which comprises books, papers, magazines, broadcast, the internet and other sources.

The database alerts them to new words and phrases and can tell them which expressions are disappearing. It also shows how words are being misused.

As well as the above expressions, the book's author Jeremy Butterfield says that many annoyingly over-used expressions actually began as office lingo, such as 24/7 and "synergy".

Other phrases to irritate people are "literally" and "ironically", when they are used out of context.

Mr Butterfield said: "We grow tired of anything that is repeated too often – an anecdote, a joke, a mannerism – and the same seems to happen with some language."

The top ten most irritating phrases:
1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science
---------

Should add my own:
1. To be honest
2. At this junction
3. Mul-tai as opposed to mul-tee
4. In my own personal opinion
5. No harm done
6. That's what I'm about
7. Anything Joey Barton says
8. There's never an easy game
9. Get his head examined
10. Hold my hands up
11. Anchor
12. Unpack
13. Framework
14. Hopefully (used in lieu of 'I hope')
15. Minimum spend of

Nikon D90

Ooh this looks good. A microsite that focuses on how the camera panders to the five photographic genres of Landscape; Architecture, People; Portraits, Sports; Action, Nature; Wildlife and Travel; Culture.

http://www.ashtonsd90.com/

Ikea.com.sg survey

You have a good everyday life at home, but it would not take a lot to make it even better.

You’re not entirely crazy about your everyday life at home (who is anyway!). But neither do you think you’ve got it real bad. Thank heavens for your computer; it makes everywhere at home seem bearable! If this is how you live, then perhaps this is how you should plan your everyday life at home – seeking solutions on how to make your computer migration (to wherever you are at home!) even more simple and functional without compromising on how things look! And while you’re at it, you might as well take a look at how home really could be when you’re not on the computer. Because chances are, your everyday life could be even better if you had also planned your life at home without the computer.

Obama wins!

What a magnificent orator! It's a wonder his speeches are not prepared by Lincoln himself.

Hamilton wins in high drama

What happened to Timo Glock?

Axolotl

Not content with being a Scrabble buff's get-out-of-jail card when he has an 'X', the axolotl is perhaps the most naturally photogenic animal on Planet Earth. I mean, it doesn't even have to try! It just has this goofy smile plastered across its face.
---------

The axolotl (aːʃoːloːtɬ), Ambystoma mexicanum, is the best-known of the Mexican neotenic mole salamanders belonging to the Tiger Salamander complex. Larvae of this species fail to undergo metamorphosis, so the adults remain aquatic and gilled. The species originates from the lake underlying Mexico City and are also called ajolote (which is also the common name for Mexican Mole Lizards). Axolotls are used extensively in scientific research due to their ability to regenerate most body parts, ease of breeding, and large embryos. They are commonly kept as pets in the United States, Great Britain (under the spelling axlotl), Australia, Japan (sold under the name wooper rooper (ウーパールーパー, Ūpā Rūpā?)) and other countries.

Axolotls should not be confused with waterdogs, the larval stage of the closely related Tiger Salamanders (Ambystoma tigrinum and Ambystoma mavortium), which is widespread in much of North America which also occasionally become neotenic, nor with mudpuppies (Necturus spp.), fully-aquatic salamanders which are unrelated to the axolotl but which bear a superficial resemblance.

As of 2008, axolotls are near extinction, due to urbanization in Mexico City, and polluted waters. Nonnative fish have also recently been introduced to the waters. These new fish have been eating the axolotls' babies, as well as its primary source of food. The axolotl is currently on the International Union for Conservation of Nature's annual Red List of threatened species.
Source: Wikipedia

---------
Mexico City's 'water monster' nears extinction
By DAVID KOOP, Associated Press Writer David Koop, Associated Press Writer – Sun Nov 2, 1:14 pm ET

MEXICO CITY – Beneath the tourist gondolas in the remains of a great Aztec lake lives a creature that resembles a monster — and a Muppet — with its slimy tail, plumage-like gills and mouth that curls into an odd smile.

The axolotl, also known as the "water monster" and the "Mexican walking fish," was a key part of Aztec legend and diet. Against all odds, it survived until now amid Mexico City's urban sprawl in the polluted canals of Lake Xochimilco, now a Venice-style destination for revelers poled along by Mexican gondoliers, or trajineros, in brightly painted party boats.

But scientists are racing to save the foot-long salamander from extinction, a victim of the draining of its lake habitat and deteriorating water quality. In what may be the final blow, nonnative fish introduced into the canals are eating its lunch — and its babies.

The long-standing International Union for Conservation of Nature includes the axolotl on its annual Red List of threatened species, while researchers say it could disappear in just five years. Some are pushing for a series of axolotl sanctuaries in canals cleared of invasive species, while others are considering repopulating Xochimilco with axolotls bred in captivity.

"If the axolotl disappears, it would not only be a great loss to biodiversity but to Mexican culture, and would reflect the degeneration of a once-great lake system," says Luis Zambrano, a biologist at the Autonomous University of Mexico, or UNAM.

The number of axolotls (pronounced ACK-suh-LAH-tuhl) in the wild is not known. But the population has dropped from roughly 1,500 per square mile in 1998 to a mere 25 per square mile this year, according to a survey by Zambrano's scientists using casting nets.

It has been a steep fall from grace for the salamander with a feathery mane of gills and a visage reminiscent of a 1970s Smiley Face that inspired American poet Ogden Nash to pen the witticism: "I've never met an axolotl, But Harvard has one in a bottle."

Millions once lived in the giant lakes of Xochimilco and Chalco on which Mexico City was built. Using four stubby legs to drag themselves along lake bottoms or their thick tails to swim like mini-alligators, they hunted plentiful aquatic insects, small fish and crustaceans.

Legend has it that Xolotl — the dog-headed Aztec god of death, lightning and monstrosities — feared he was about to be banished or killed by other gods and changed into an axolotl to flee into Lake Xochimilco.

The axolotl's decline began when Spanish conquerors started draining the lakes, which were further emptied over time to slake the thirst of one of the world's largest and fastest-growing cities. In the 1970s, Lake Chalco was completely drained to prevent flooding. In the 1980s, Mexico City began pumping its wastewater into the few canals and lagoons that remained of Xochimilco.

About 20 years ago, African tilapia were introduced into Xochimilco in a misguided effort to create fisheries. They joined with Asian carp to dominate the ecosystem and eat the axolotl's eggs and compete with it for food. The axolotl is also threatened by agrochemical runoff from nearby farms and treated wastewater from a Mexico City sewage plant, researchers say.

Local fisherman Roberto Altamira, 32, recalls when he was a boy, and the axolotl was still part of the local diet.

"I used to love axolotl tamales," he says, rubbing his stomach and laughing.

But he says people no longer eat axolotls, mainly because fishermen almost never find them.

"The last one I caught was about six months ago," says Altamira, a wiry gondolier with rope-like muscles from years of poling through Xochimilco's narrow waterways.

Meanwhile, the axolotl population is burgeoning in laboratories, where scientists study its amazing traits, including the ability to completely re-grow lost limbs. Axolotls have played key roles in research on regeneration, embryology, fertilization and evolution.

The salamander has the rare trait of retaining its larval features throughout its adult life, a phenomenon called neoteny. It lives all its life in the water but can breathe both under water with gills or by taking gulps of air from the surface.

On a 9-foot-wide canal covered by a green carpet of "lentejilla" — an aquatic plant that resembles green lentils — Zambrano's researchers test water quality and search for axolotls. The air smells of sulfur and sewage.

A team member suddenly points to the trademark water ripple of an axolotl, and the crew hurls its net. But they only come up with two tilapia in a sopping-wet mass of lentejilla.

So far, scientists disagree on how to save the creature. But a pilot sanctuary is expected to open in the next three to six months in the waters around Island of the Dolls, so-called because the owner hangs dolls he finds in the canals to ward off evil spirits.

Zambrano proposes up to 15 axolotl sanctuaries in Xochimilco's canals, where scientists would insert some kind of barrier and clear the area of nonnative species.

Without carp, the water would clear, and plants the axolotl needs to breed could flourish again, said Bob Johnson, the curator of amphibians and reptiles at the Toronto Zoo.

"If you take the insults away, the lake has an amazing latent potential to heal itself," he said.

Veterinarian Erika Servin, who runs the Mexico City government's axolotl program at Chapultepec Zoo, is studying the possibility of introducing axolotls from the lab into the canals. But more study is needed to make sure the process doesn't lead to diseases and genetic problems from inbreeding.

Xochimilco residents could be another source of resistance.

Hundreds of people make a living pulling tilapia from canals or growing flowers, lettuce and vegetables on nearby land. Efforts to remove the fish or shut down polluting farms could face stiff opposition.

But while the debate goes on, time is running out.

Given its role in research alone, Johnson says, "We owe it to the axolotl to help it survive."

Rory Delap - throw-in superstar

Eat your heart out, Ronaldo! Meet the new king of set-pieces!

Financial crisis

I have a question: If everyone is losing money, who's making a windfall out of this whole calamity? Or is it a natural correction of the rich-poor divide?

Danny Cepero

Teachers need to earn their respect too (Caroline Lim, Today, 30/10, p24)

I refer to “Different strokes required” (Oct 29), and would like to highlight that not only are students of current times different from those of yesteryears’ but that teachers have changed with the times.

Most local teachers are products of the educational system and our changing society and it is appalling to read of teachers being convicted or investigated for molestation or outrage of modesty.

A week ago, in the first case of its kind here in Singapore, a female teacher was charged with having sex with an underage student. And there was a recent media report about teachers moonlighting as bar top/pole dancers.

Besides paper qualifications, are teachers’ character assessed before they are hired? When more than 90 per cent of Singapore students rely on private tutors and commercial tuition centres as helping hands towards attaining academic excellence, I wonder what exactly are the roles of current school teachers?

What has gone wrong that teachers who spend at least six hours a day, five days a week with their students are not commanding sufficient respect? Do they themselves lack discipline in the first place? Are they worthy of respect in the first place?
---------

Gee thanks for tarring everyone with the same brush. That's really fair and well-deserved.

The role of a teacher is supposed to be simple - to teach. But the moment things start coming in that detract from it, we start running out of time. When we do that, we have to rush. When we rush, learning inadvertently drops. And that's where tutors, who earn more than us by the way, come in. MOE has to decide if they want teachers to focus on teaching, or if they want the children to turn to tutors instead. Tutors may do a better job because of one word - ratio. Let's have them teach 40 and see if they can handle it.

I laugh to myself when you ask if MOE considers character when they hire teachers. I'd like to see you get off your high horse and propose how you'd measure the character of someone you are interviewing. You don't even know the character of some of your colleagues whom you've worked with for years. How then do you expect MOE to get all the bad apples out of the basket?

Moreover, do your research before you shoot letters off to the press. Since when do teachers spend six hours (at least!) with our students. We'd be lucky to get three. Factor in school holidays, exams and other special events, and the average goes way down. And what character values can you effectively impart when your focus is on getting their attention when they are over-stimulated at home by parents who use the TV/PC as a babysitter, and then again with virtually all time-proven discipline methods banned by MOE because of aforementioned over-protective parents?

You really can't have your cake and eat it. If you don't want us to discipline, do it yourself. And if you want us to do it, stop telling us we can't do anything remotely effective.

Finally, I say the main reason children lack respect for teachers is partly because of what parents do. I witnessed a parent call a maid stupid in front of her children. Gee, that will really make the children listen to the maid when the mum's not around.

Children no longer have fear of discipline. Inconsistent discipline at home teaches them how to get away with it and they pull the same stunts at school. But our hands are tied. How long before they call our bluff? Epiphany: "Hey! You can't do anything to me! Even if you call my parents, they don't do anything either!"

Spare the rod and spoil the child. But our generation has chosen to spoil the future of our nation instead.

Callie Shell - Obama - DigitalJournalist.org

An excellent photojournalism essay on Obama, back when he was still only a senator.
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/issue0810/callie-bp.html

Fornication Under Consent of the King

In ancient England, people could not have sex without consent from the King. When people wanted to have a child, they had to solicit permission from the monarchy. In turn, they would supply a plaque to hang on their door when they had sexual relations.

The plaque read: "Fornication Under Consent of the King". I'm sure you can put it together.

OK

During historic civil wars, when troops returned without any casualties, a sign was put up for all to see that read "0 Killed". From here we get the expression "O.K.", which means all is good.

Dr. Seuss - The Vet Who Did Not Vet

How consultants really help

To all of you who deal with restaurants and understand the need for the service to be faster, this story is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organisation.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen, instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly.

Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice.
"Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Teachers should be allowed to use the rod (Jo-Anne Lee, Today, 30/10, p24)

I refer to “Different strokes required” and “Splitting up the classes may help” (Oct 29).

I do not envy teachers these days. Not only is the nobility of their profession not respected, parents now also believe it’s the teachers’ role to nurture and groom their kids.

Ill-behaved children? Of course there are. The question is, are they just being children or being disrespectful? I teach Sunday classes. The preschool kids are lovely because they’re young, innocent and impressionable.

There is a big difference between parents being liberal and open minded with their children, and being simply over indulgent. “Over compensate” is the word Mr Ho Kong Loon used. I couldn’t agree more. Was there not a recent media report about a young woman whose parents give her money to buy designer bags?

The constraint on teachers where discipline is concerned is getting ridiculous. If the parents shirk disciplining responsibility and hand it over to the teacher, then they should let the teachers discipline their kids with the cane, rod or whatever they deem fit and not interfere.

I’ve seen too many brats who are not only spoilt in the material sense but lack social graces and graciousness. Basic courtesy and civic mindedness have gone down the drain. Mr Arthur Lim says there’s a lack of tolerance in society and children need their “space”. I agree, but how much space is enough before we realise they are getting out of control? And split up classes? Doesn’t he know that we are facing a shortage of good teachers?
---------

Please don't spoil this generation. Don't ask the teachers to discipline your children - BECAUSE WE CAN'T.

Beautiful vowels

It took seven years to write Eunoia.

Eunoia is the shortest word in English containing all five vowels - and it means "beautiful thinking". It is also the title of Canadian poet Christian Bok's book of fiction in which each chapter uses only one vowel.

Mr Bok believes his book proves that each vowel has its own personality, and demonstrates the flexibility of the English language. Below are extracts from each chapter.
---------
from CHAPTER A - FOR HANS ARP
Hassan Abd al-Hassad, an Agha Khan, basks at an ashram - a Taj Mahal that has grand parks and grass lawns, all as vast as parklands at Alhambra and Valhalla. Hassan can, at a handclap, call a vassal at hand and ask that all staff plan a bacchanal - a gala ball that has what pagan charm small galas lack. Hassan claps, and (tah-dah) an Arab lass at a swank spa can draw a man's bath and wash a man's back, as Arab lads fawn and hang, athwart an altar, amaranth garlands as fragrant as attar - a balm that calms all angst. A dwarf can flap a palm branch that fans a fat maharajah. A naphtha lamp can cast a calm warmth.
---------
from CHAPTER E - FOR RENE CREVEL
Westerners revere the Greek legends. Versemen retell the represented events, the resplendent scenes, where, hellbent, the Greek freemen seek revenge whenever Helen, the new-wed empress, weeps. Restless, she deserts her fleece bed where, detested, her wedded regent sleeps. When she remembers Greece, her seceded demesne, she feels wretched, left here, bereft, her needs never met. She needs rest; nevertheless, her demented fevers render her sleepless (her sleeplessness enfeebles her). She needs help; nevertheless her stressed nerves render her cheerless (her cheerlessness enfetters her).
---------
from CHAPTER I - FOR DICK HIGGINS
Hiking in British districts, I picnic in virgin firths, grinning in mirth with misfit whims, smiling if I find birch twigs, smirking if I find mint sprigs.

Midspring brings with it singing birds, six kinds, (finch, siskin, ibis, tit, pipit, swift), whistling shrill chirps, trilling chirr chirr in high pitch. Kingbirds flit in gliding flight, skimming limpid springs, dipping wingtips in rills which brim with living things: krill, shrimp, brill - fish with gilt fins, which swim in flitting zigs. Might Virgil find bliss implicit in this primitivism? Might I mimic him in print if I find his writings inspiring?
---------
from CHAPTER O - FOR YOKO ONO
Loops on bold fonts now form lots of words for books. Books form cocoons of comfort - tombs to hold bookworms. Profs from Oxford show frosh who do post-docs how to gloss works of Wordsworth. Dons who work for proctors or provosts do not fob off school to work on crosswords, nor do dons go off to dorm rooms to loll on cots. Dons go crosstown to look for bookshops known to stock lots of top-notch goods: cookbooks, workbooks - room on room of how-to-books for jocks (how to jog, how to box), books on pro sports: golf or polo. Old colophons on schoolbooks from schoolrooms sport two sorts of logo: oblong whorls, rococo scrolls - both on worn morocco.
---------
from CHAPTER U - FOR ZHU YU
Gulls churr: ululu, ululu. Ducks cluck. Bulls plus bucks run thru buckbrush; thus dun burrs clutch fur tufts. Ursus cubs plus Lupus pups hunt skunks. Curs skulk (such mutts lurk: ruff, ruff). Gnus munch kudzu. Lush shrubs bud; thus church nuns pluck uncut mums. Bugs hum: buzz, buzz. Dull susurrus gusts murmur hushful, humdrum murmurs: hush, hush. Dusk suns blush. Surf lulls us. Such scuds hurl up cumulus suds (Sturm und Druck) - furls unfurl: rush, rush; curls uncurl: gush, gush. Such tumult upturns unsunk hulls; thus gulfs crush us, gulp, dunk us - burst lungs succumb.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can you write using only one vowel?

I think this is gimmicky!
Katherine, Arizona, USA

A Lancs man asks "Can that mad, bad, Yank MacCain catch Barack?" Lancs Man says Yanks want Barack? Fab!
Mike W, Lancashire

Prhps hs nxt ffrt wll b nthng bt cnsnnts!!
Gordon Knight, Boldre, New Forest

Expends excess weeks, never sleeps, yet renders wretched verse. Geek!
Ian , Glasgow, Scotland

Wild high wind - vivid spirit,
Zips, licks.
I wish, wish it still
I sigh, will it lift,shift?
Wild high wind
lilts, tilts, kills.
Eileen Tiffin de Quadra, Newcastle upon Tyne

A far away star gasps gas.
BANG,Crash,...sparks..
Star falls
Alas warmth past
Alarm
Man gasps
Gags
Man falls
"Mam Dad Why??"
Phil Harris, London England

Every sheep relent ! Seven enter where'er three entrench. Ten express envy. Better repent eh ? Very deep....
James Upton, London

Why eke verse when these verses deserve temper? He needs help even when he's clever. He renders me bereft, needy. He spends me pretty well. Bye bye energy. Better flee, perplexed!
Sebastian Hickey, Dublin, Ireland

Dull. Dull, ugly, uck:
Tumult upturns, hurls, bursts,
Curbs plush hush,
Dull murmur gusts -
Humdrum duck clucks thus.
Laura Redfern, Conwy, Wales

Owls howl from lofty woods. No moon shows. Crows look coldly. No worms, no food, only gloom.
Ed, UK

...his gift is instilling illicit instincts in I!!
Jayne, Prestatyn, Wales

Efrem revered the verse
He cleverly kept jests
Eschew
Expelled
Petty pretences he etched
Rhyme heckles the style
Wretched
Tethered
Bereft; regrets refresh excite
Eden thy sleep swells decry
GH, Carrickfergus

I think this is slightly silly!
Michael Phillips, Southsea, England

Brand - What a scandal! A daft prat! Sad, mad Brand. Sack!
Ross - No good! Fool. Clot. Stop Ross's work. Show Ross door. Bog off, Ross!
Susan Harvey, London

To 'show off'; wordworm snoot who jots down words of Wordsworth or Byron by lots of solo o's on show.
Martin Boronte, London, UK

Yes! Here we see English text expressed ever freer. Letters re-dressed, remember French seer?
Marko B, Leeds, Yorkshire

Yes, very clever: yet empty. He expended energy yet he vexes deeply. Berk!
John Dudley, London

Pop, pop, chop, chop, strop. Go on to work off lots of knots. Do not stop. Do not!
Marie, Eastbourne, East Sussex

Happy happy day...that day, my man had a way, had a play, had a stay....ah, that day!
Laura, Cluj-Napoca, Romania

Fiddly, I find. Still, I didn't shirk. I didn't quit. This fits - it's right. I think it did it.
Jon Wallis, Bristol, UK

An arrant grab-bag; a bland, flat mass. Appals as far as charms. Alas, Art! That many days a man can scratch hard, and halt at that tat. That man wants a slap.
CRC, "Cantab"

John won't borrow Bok's book - too bloody wordy! Only O's? Noooooo!
John W, Sheffield

No con do !!
Roy McCallum, Whitley Bay

Nicholas Carlton - Oz Girl

Really impressed!
http://ozgirl.tv/

Traditional ways of disciplining kids are now deemed harsh and stifling (Ho Kong Loon, Today Voices, 29/10, p30)

I REFER to “Ill-behaved pupils on excursion” (Oct 29).

I share Mr Lionel de Souza’s unhappiness and concern about how the school children had misbehaved, and the apparent lack of supervision on the teachers’ part.

This phenomenon is not an isolated one. As a retired teacher, I have personally witnessed the proliferation of errant kids. The “I, me, my, mine, myself” genre has become the rule rather than the exception.

A better educated and liberal generation of parents has revolutionised the manner and approach to parenting. The traditional way we disciplined our kids is now deemed harsh, cruel, inhibitive and stifling. Kids today enjoy unbridled freedom, independence and rights.

I do not doubt the sincerity and good intentions of those who advocate a more liberal, lighter touch in raising and disciplining children.

But for many young parents, it is the inability to see the trees from the forest that trip them.

Mired in a relentless pursuit for a better life, the dues many working parents pay are usually less time with their kids, slavish dependence on domestic help, elderly parents or child-care centres, over indulgence and over compensation.

Teachers have their work well cut out for them when it involves managing kids who are restless, hyperactive, disobedient, aggressive, vocal or disruptive. In short, their hands are tightly bound, metaphorically speaking.

Educators today are well aware the parameters they operate within are distinctly marked out: No scolding, no corporal punishment, no writing of lines, no detention class, no deprivation of recess, no negative remarks, no threats ... the list is endless.

I taught the less-academically-inclined kids for 40 years. A glare from me was all it took to still a restless kid or alert an inattentive one.

Very few kids dared defy their teachers then because they knew they had no recourse to parental protection or interference. The discipline master or the school head dealt with cases of indiscipline firmly and effectively.

Can we as adults do much to remedy the present malaise and deteriorating state of discipline?

There are Singaporeans who will argue comprehensively, articulately and passionately that Mr Lionel, my peers and I are dinosaurs, time frozen by our mindset.

Are we?

Panty hose tug-of-war

Hilariously Weird Tug of War - Watch more free videos

Botak Jones

Ha! Finally went with Jasmine, Shannon & Ailsa. Was told to lower my expectations and it seriously wasn't too bad at all, and the price was quite reasonable. Service was excellent for a kopitiam, so no complaints there. They've a few branches islandwide so will try again sometime this year.

Wilson Phillips - Medley (1991)

Wilson Phillips - Hold On

Wilson Phillips - Release Me

Estadio Municipal de Braga

This is one weird stadium, where the area behind the goals are an open space and a rock face!

The Ant & The Grasshopper - A Malaysian Parable

The Version You Know

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer, building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool, and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.

The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
------------
The Malaysian Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer, building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool, and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

TV1, TV2 & TV3 show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The majority of the Malaysian Parliament are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this poor Grasshopper be allowed to suffer?

Khairy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Nazri goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

The Malaysia Government immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the summer so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Hishammudin makes 'More Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to share 30% of his food with the Grasshopper.

Prime Minister announces that this is part of the NEP. Every ant must not question it.

Many years later...

The Ant has migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company there.

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite the 'Special Reservation'.

Losing lots of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, Malaysia is still a developing country.

All because the ANTS are just doing their work.
----------
Received by email

Dubya endorses McCain & Palin

Corrinne May

I've jumped on the Corrinne May bandwagon. Love her 2nd album Safe in a Crazy World especially. Apparently she knows Wen and she's sorta a senior.

Alicia Keys & Jack White - Another Way to Die

Over-enthusiastic syncopation, over-use of triplets - this has OTT written all over it. Apart from learning that Jack White can play almost any instrument (which I already knew), not much can be learnt from this directionless mess.

Roman Pavlyuchenko - Member of Parliament

While Spurs (still) lay claim to having the same number of points as a toothpick (two), at least they have someone no other club has - a Member of Parliament.

Roman Pavlyuchenko has been elected MP in Stavropol Krai, southwest Russia. Maybe he can lobby Valdimir Putin for extra funds to buy a striker Roman CAN play with.

Roger Federer vs Pete Sampras

Roger Federer's monster kick serve

Gayest tennis serve

Dann & Brian Battistone: double-handled racket & jump serve

Tina Fey vs Sarah Palin

Friends theme

Blue - Best in Me

Adam & Eve break up and resort to personal ads

Joey Scarbury - Theme from Greatest American Hero (Believe It or Not)

Wilson Phillips - You're In Love

The Billion-and-One Commandments

Wanna know where's the Parks Act? Well you can find it here at Singapore Statutes Online, together with other obscure novelties like Animals & Birds Act (isn't a bird an animal?), Application of English Law Act, Banishment Act, Boy Scouts Association Act, Bretton Woods Agreement Act and the ultra-relevant Cattle Act.

Robbie Dupree - Steal Away

Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jr.- You Don't Have to Be a Star

Parliament: Cops scared of crooks, so base closed! by Royce Cheah, The Star Online

The stupidity and incompetence of the reply is really quite chocking, but then again, little shocks you about Malaysia anymore.
---------
KUALA LUMPUR: A police beat base in the Chow Kit area of downtown Kuala Lumpur was closed down because it was in a location that was considered unsafe, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar.

In a written reply to Dr Lo’ Lo’ Mohamad Ghazali (PAS-Titiwangsa), Syed Hamid said the beat base was located in a dirty area where there was a possibility of being exposed to contagious diseases.

The presence of criminals also posed a threat to the safety of police officers, he said.

Lo’ Lo’ had asked why the beat base on Jalan Haji Taib was closed considering the high number of vice-related activities in the area, as well as what kind action had been taken by the police to curb such activities.

Syed Hamid said that the police were looking for a new location to build a police beat base that would be able to give “guaranteed and continued service to the public.”

Lo’ Lo’s was the 30th question in the Order Paper and hence did not get a mention in the House during the daily one-hour Question Time. However, Dr Mohd Hatta Ramli (PAS-Kuala Krai) managed to raise it when he interjected during Azmin Ali’s (PKR-Gombak) speech during the debate on Budget 2009.

Dr Mohd Hatta said that if the police themselves felt unsafe in a beat base, then it would be even worse for the public.

“The minister has to resign if he is worried about the safety of police in that area. Maybe it would be better to put the beat base in army barracks,” he said.

Dr Mohd Hatta then managed to raise the issue again during his own debate on Budget 2009 saying that Syed Ali’s response was not rational.

“The police are there to make a place safe. If they themselves are scared and run away, then how can we hope for others to want to be there?

“It is embarassing and that is why the criminals will always be there,” he said.

Dr Mohd Hatta said if the place is dirty, then it is up to the police to organise gotong-royong activities to clean it up or if they did not want to then they should move to Putrajaya or Parliament.

“And what is this about contagious diseases on Jalan Haji Taib? The only kind of contagious diseases that are present there are sexually-transmitted ones.

“Is the minister scared that his charges will contract such diseases? That kind of thing is a matter of choice. In any case, if this is what he is worried about then we are worried that the police are not above this.”

Dr Mohd Hatta added that the police had to be brave people and that they were a different breed altogether when facing demonstrators. He said he hoped that the minister would clarify his written answer in the House as this is not the kind of police that the people want.

Bass drum independence

Tom-tom beats

Folk rock play-along

Funk drum play-along

How to tune a snare drum

Up-tempo Jazz Swing Drum

Rock Drum Play-Alongs at FreeDrumLessons.com

Massa takes Hamilton out

Ferrari & Massa say it was accidental, and I believe them, but look at the reaction of the Ferrari mechanics!

Risk Assessment & Horizon Scanning (RAHS)

I thought this was some high-tech independent omnipotent computer system that detects threats before they happen. Think Minority Report.

Turns out our system is a bit more boring lah. Essentially, what it does is it allows data researchers and analysts to do their work better & more effectively by trawling Internet media sources for information. Here, factors like bias, credibility & motive are considered to confirm or refute a working hypothesis related to an issue - for example, why Iran is seeking nuclear power.

The analysts can explore different motivations to see if they affect the link between certain factors. For example, they could explore if Iran's leadership is a factor in the desire for nuclear power, or whether the lack of oil or hatred toward Israel is a more conclusive factor. The greater the effect a change in a factor causes, the greater the correlation. Hence a cause-and-effect relationship is established. Iran's oil supply and its government's statements toward Israel can then be monitored more closely to predict of Iran is developing more nuclear capabilities.

You can find a video demonstrating its capabilities here.

Belarus 1-3 England

Seven-stroke roll by FreeDrumLessons.com

Fined $200 for sleeping

This takes the cake, it really does. Make us a laughing stock too. The worst kind of law is the one filled with loopholes and inconsistencies, and so it proves.

A man was fined $200 for snoozing at Sun Plaza Park. It was raining at the time and I guess he was just waiting it out. As you know, there really is no better time to sleep when it is raining. And so he did, on a sheltered bench. Two NParks officials came along, told him to get up, and here's where the story gets complicated.

The officials claim he didn't obey; the man claims he did. Regardless of that, they both agree that it was the man's first 'offence', if you can call it that.

Some of this may sound reminiscent of Mr Murali's excellent editorial, but I guess great minds think alike.

If it's his first offence (undisputed fact), why the heavy-handedness. Wouldn't a verbal warning or (harshly) warning letter suffice?

Besides, at no place in the park was there a sign prohibiting a snooze. In their great esteem, NParks couldn't find it either, and helpfully informed us that it wasn't on their website, but that the public could read about the offence in the Parks Act or something like that.

Hmmm, let's picture this:
Child: Hey Dad, let's go to the park!
Dad: I know, wait. Let me read the latest edition of the Park Act first, in case flying a kite that looks like a hammer is illegal. Might look like Workers' Party.
Child: Oh I see. Where do you find that Act? Maybe the NParks website?
Dad: Nope, not there.
Child: Ministry of Environment?
Dad: Nope.
Child: Google Parks Act?
And so on.

Next time you go to the funfair, better check the Funfair Act first. Sekali you drink water while on the ferris wheel and get fined for drinking at the wheel.

Moreover, motorists are fined relative pittances for putting motorists and pedestrians in danger, like by parking along double yellow lines, speeding etc. The message? Sleeping on a bench is a greater sin than hogging a busy road. Tsk. Just imagine the number of people he inconvenienced while sleeping - all those people walking in the park while it was raining - all two of them. Oh wait, those were the officials.

The biggest loser in the whole sordid affair must be NParks and its lawmaking. Forget Henderson Waves and all its good work. One PR disaster and all the public sees is a ponderous, heavy-handed government body bound with red tape that bullies tired people.

All this proves that laws are useless unless you have civil servants with the initiative and common sense to implement them.

Another conundrum: The law against homosexuals is loosely applied but this is not. What is a matter of greater importance then? People sleeping on the wrong bench or people sleeping with the wrong sex?

Signs that you are in a Jerry Bruckheimer movie by Peter W. Suderman

1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model.

2. A bus explodes.

3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know ...

4. ... and you feel compelled to stop it.

5. You are Nicholas Cage.

6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier.

7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model.

8. A building explodes.

9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech.

10. The light always hits your face in just the right way.

11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city ...

12. ... and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers.

13. Everyone around you is a model.

14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss.

15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization ...

16. ... in slow motion.

17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes.

18. You save the world.

19. Your name is Jack.

Giuseppe Rossi

Nicholas Carlton's show reel

I like Nicholas' style. It reminds me of the days I did TV Journ in school. Midnight shoots, last-minute changes - and we used Betacam too. =]

Chris Iwelumo's miss

Prisoner of Azkaban

Tilt-shift lens

Tilt-shift lenses allow the user to select a very narrow band of focus. Our brain then interprets the subject then as miniature, giving a Lilliputian look to the shot.

Formula One Grand Prix Singapore 2008

Chee Weng managed to get two walkabout tickets for free practice on Friday and asked me along. It really was a brisk walk around the circuit grounds, with not much to see but a lot to hear. Needed ear plugs on a stiflingly humid night, so it's not really worth whatever they're paying for walkabout tickets. You see the cars but they all look the same after a while.

They ketuk you with the food - dough sticks for $2 & fried rice for $8 anyone?

Check out the rest of the pictures at http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/09/the_singapore_grand_prix.html.

Serangoon Gardens apartheid

Yes, this may sound like Sepp Blatter calling Ronaldo a slave, and I may be accused of now reading up sufficiently on pre-Mandela South African history, but I dare say the whole "I don't want foreign workers in my backyard" tug-of-war between Serangoon Gardens, the Government and now Tai Hwan smacks of petty apartheid.

Granted, we are not talking about citizens here, but foreigners. But the Serangoon people are talking about them as if they are a bunch of molesters & murderers who only know how to get drunk & vandalise. That is about as broad a stereotype as you can get. Unwittingly, they are perpetuating the Singaporean stereotype of selfishness & self-interest.

Singapore is so small that eventually, they're gonna have to live in someone's backyard. The big picture is it happens to be Serangoon Gardens/Tai Hwan this time. Might be Hume Park next time, or Lentor Avenue. Put yourself in their shoes - if you were in a foreign land earning whatever you can so your family, who you won't see for years, can scrape by, wouldn't you want their sympathy too? Yes, you would. Now go and do likewise.

They had the cheek to complain they were not consulted. Hello? Does the land belong to you? No. Do you really expect the Government to accede when you say you want them somewhere else? Again, big picture. If everyone says no, where do we put them? Lim Chu Kang?

I know "dormitory" is an anagram for "dirty room", but it can't be that bad. Wake up, stop dreaming and have a little heart.

Crocked again

Will parents ever learn that rubber Crocs, counterfeit or otherwise, are deathtraps waiting to happen? How many trapped little feet, ripped big toes & traumatised toddlers do we need before they realise escalators & rubber sandals are a atch made in hell?

For goodness sake - if you love your kid, dump that sadistic footwear.

Eagle Eye

Plot: A young slacker and a single mom get tangled up in a terrorist cell plotting a political assassination.

My take: No kidding - this had me riveted. The idea wasn't original, I could see the ending coming, but I was still amazed at the prospect of such an sentient, omnipotent supercomputer and its ramifications. I loved the way they kept using closed-circuit camera shots to show us what Eagle Eye was seeing.
Now I shall call my friend and ask him to jump through a window - now. =]

Fan Chan (My Girl)

Plot: Jeab hears that his childhood sweetheart Noi-Naa is to be married, so he makes the trip back home to his provincial village. As he does so, the memories come flooding back to his childhood in 1980s Thailand. He remembers always being late to school, so his father would have to give him a ride on the back of the motorcycle. After school, he would always play with Noi-Naa and her girlfriends while the neighborhood boys rode their bicycles and played football and Chinese fantasy characters.

My take: This is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeet. =]

Joke (unoriginal)

What do Tottenham Hotspur and a toothpick have in common?

They both have two points.

Joke (original)

What's the difference between a bad boxer and a zhichar stall helper?

One lacks the punch while the other packs the lunch.

Pseudo-German - Blinkenlichten

ACHTUNG!

ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!

DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN.

IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.

ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.
----------
Translated:
ATTENTION!

ALL TOURISTS AND NON-TECHNICAL ONLOOKERS!

THIS COMPUTER IS NOT FOR FINGER-POKING OR GRABBING ONTO! OTHERWISE IT IS EASY TO SNAP THE SPRING-WORK, BLOW FUSES, AND POP CORKS WITH SPITTING SPARKS.

IT IS NOT TO BE WORKED [operated] BY DUMB-HEADS [idiots]. RUBBER-NECKING SIGHTSEERS MUST KEEP THEIR COTTON-PICKING HANDS IN THEIR POCKETS.

SO RELAX AND WATCH THE BLINKING LIGHTS.

CBS - Sarah Palin vs Katie Couric

Saturday Night Live - Sarah Palin vs Katie Couric

This Saturday Night Live version of the Palin interview is funny. The real thing was frightening...

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is a traditional children's song of obscure origin. Its lyrics are:

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.
Whenever we go out
The people always shout,
"There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt."
da, da, da, da, da, da, da
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too... (repeat ad infinitum)
The song is commonly sung by young children at communal outings such as long bus rides and Boy Scout or Girl Scout outings. It's also a classic informal parade song in Pennsylvania.[citation needed]

The mock German name celebrated in the song suggests that some English speakers still find longer northern-European names to be inherently funny words; compare the Blinkenlights faxlore in which English words are deformed to form a pseudo-German warning text. The surname Schmidt and the surname suffix -heimer are of Germanic origin. Schmidt is one of the most common last names in German heritage.

Part of the appeal of the song seems to be its infinite loop, presenting the opportunity to turn a potentially intolerably long wait into an informal psychological experiment with the idea of infinitude and the infinite-loop motif. Compare "The Song That Never Ends", "My Name is Jan Jansen" and "High Hopes".

Each repetition is sung more quietly than the previous, except for the final line which is sung at full volume. The "last" repetition is sung in pantomime; typically the final line is then shouted as loud as possible.

World's worst roundabouts

Magic Roundabout in Swindon, England


Turbo Roundabout in Holland

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Plot: Based on a popular video game, director Simon West's adventure places English aristocrat Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) in the middle of a battle with a secret society. Skilled in hand-to-hand combat, the shapely archaeologist moonlights as a tomb raider to recover lost antiquities. She meets her match in the evil Powell (Iain Glen), who's in search of a relic that holds power over time … and life. Jon Voight appears as Lara's dearly departed dad.

My take: OK lah.

Spy Kids

Plot: Carmen and Juni Cortez will soon find out that their favorite bedtime story, "The Spies Who Fell in Love," is really the story of their parents. So begins this affable fantasy, a James Bond adventure for wee ones with all the trimmings. When Dad and Mom (Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino) mess up their first mission after coming out of retirement, their kids must come to the rescue, equipped with some cool gadgets. The Cortez family gets involved in a bizarre plot hatched by a Pee-wee Herman-type entertainer named Fegan Floop (a wonderfully hammy Alan Cumming) that's as giddy as it is ridiculous. Needless to say there is plenty of derring-do concerning long-lost uncles, goofy monsters, double agents, evil robots, look-alikes, and energized chases. Did we mention the gadgets? Although Banderas and Gugino make terrific impressions, the movie is carried (as it should be) by the younger Cortezes, winningly played by Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara. Who would have thought an action/horror studio (Dimension) and writer-director Robert Rodriguez had this pleasing family film up their sleeves? Rodriquez (who produced with his wife Elizabeth Avellán) seemed to be mired in cheesy horror films but here breaks out by capitalizing on the talent that gave him instant status with his debut, El Mariachi (1992). Spy Kids has plenty of verve but never swerves into potty humor (OK, there is one good potty joke) or wicked gunplay. All 7-year-olds should have a film as fun as this in their movie-going lives. --Doug Thomas

My take: Rather fascinating, in that theme ride way.

Gone in 60 Seconds

Plot: Kip Raines (Giovanni Ribisi) is a cocky young car thief working with a crew to steal 50 cars for a very bad man whose nickname is "The Carpenter." Being young and cocky, Kip messes up, so it's up to his big brother, Randall "Memphis" Raines (Nicolas Cage), to come out of car thief retirement and save him. With a cast that includes Robert Duvall, Angelina Jolie, Delroy Lindo, Cage, and Ribisi, it would be easy to say this story wastes all their talents--which it does, but that's not the point. This is a Jerry Bruckheimer film. A good story and complex characters would only get in the way of the action scenes and slow the movie down. No, Gone in 60 Seconds (based on the cult 1974 film of the same name) is not about the stars as much as it's about cars. Fast cars. Rare cars. Wrecked cars. All cars. Too bad director Dominic Sena (Kalifornia) doesn't come across as more of a gearhead; he seems less interested in fast cars than fast cuts. But is this movie fun? Absolutely, and it's fun because it's so stupid. With pointless car chases and hackneyed dialogue in one of the most predictable plots of the year, Gone in 60 Seconds is a comic film that's not quite a parody of itself, but darn close. --Andy Spletzer

My take: Yet another Nicolas Cage action flick. Can't you guys see he's just not on?

The Color of Money

Plot: Pool hustler Fast Eddie Felson finds the young, promising pool player Vincent in a local bar and he sees in him a younger version of himself. To try and make it as in the old days, Eddie offers to teach Vincent how to be a hustler. After some hesitations Vincent accepts and Eddie takes him and Vincent's girlfriend Carmen on a tour through the country to work the pool halls. However, Vincent's tendency to show off his talent and by doing so warning off the players and losing money, soon leads to a confrontation with Eddie.

My take: Makes you fall in love with pool all over again. Here's to Paul Newman.

Bloody English

Only the English could've invented this language.

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese. Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, if I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? And if people from Poland are called Poles, then people from Holland should be called Hoesl and Germans, Germs.

Les Choristes

Plot: Set in 1948, a professor of music, Clement Mathieu, becomes the supervisor at a boarding school for the rehabilitation for minors. What he discovers disconcerts him -- the current situation is repressive. Through the power of song, Clement tries to transform the students.

My take: Thoroughly enjoyable reminder of contract teaching. Shout "Silence!" when you want silence. And boy can Jean-Baptiste Maunier sing. =]

AIG - Almost Incompetently Gazumped

They had us worried there. AIG's near collapse had my heart in my mouth when I thought about the jersey I have with AIG (Aaron is Great) plastered across the front. The 56.5m pounds Manchester United stand to receive in the next few years was suddenly at stake. Thankfully, the US government bailed AIG out with US$85b in return for virtual executive control. Oh well, as long as we get our money, though we can always negotiate a better deal given our triumphs last season.

Cluster Games 2008

Here's the PR talk first. Seng Kang Pri did astoundingly well at the N1 Cluster Games. The football team reached the semis and was the only team that the eventual champions, Xinmin Sec, failed to beat. Our badminton team finished with a 100% win record.

Now here's the truth. Our football team drew two matches against strong opposition in the round-robin, before running out of steam in the semis. We eventually finished fourth, though we should have got third if not for Kalai's injury.

Our badminton duo of Daniel and Mr Lim won their men's doubles match against local favourites Xinmin Sec. Then they were informed that the next match was mixed doubles. Since neither of them wore a skirt, they had to forfeit. Like, hello? How bad can the communication be that we did not even know that it was a team event of 8 people? Apparently Xinmin Pri, just next door, had no inkling of any badminton competition too. It's obvious to me that this was a shoddy last-minute job instigated by SOMEONE in N1, with Xinmin Sec drawing the short end of the stick to organise it.

Further evidence of incompetence abounded in the football tournament. Firstly, whose bright idea was it to have it during Ramadan? It's complete disregard for the well-being of our Muslim teachers. Secondly, there were no water points despite a blazing hot afternoon sun. We had to walk to a water cooler at the other end of the field. Thirdly, how can you get Xinmin Sec boys to referee games involving Xinmin Sec, especially when their teachers are right there playing? I don't doubt their integrity, but why put them in such a difficult position in the first place? Volunteers from remaining teams could easily have been drafted in to referee the games instead of the boys being referees and timekeepers. Finally, our third-fourth placing match was sidelined by the final, so we had no ball boys, and had to keep waiting for balls to be replaced. Apparently the ball boys were too engrossed in the final. Inexcusable - if you have a job, do it.

The last point I need to mention that points to this being a last-minute job is that Seng Kang Pri's very own Staff Games Day, planned so long beforehand, had to take a backseat to this event just because it's at cluster level. If this had been planned earlier, we could have deconflicted the schedule, allowing our fitter PE colleagues to take part.

The last word goes to the football team. Many thanks and congratulations to everyone for going further than we thought we would.
Azreen & Faisal - Despite your fasting, your self-sacrifice inspired us all. Your holding the ball up allowed us to get in the game, just as your runs to the side allowed us to spread the play. And Faisal, what a cracker! =]
Kok Leong - Our captain led by example, never once letting us down. A rock at the back.
Shou Fei - Your tireless running gave us some respite from fitter teams and you never gave up.
Kalai - Cramps notwithstanding, our creative hub that allowed us to create many chances that we did not take.
Daniel - For stepping into the breach when Kalai was down. Performed admirably and threw himself in the face of danger to save us from going further behind.

Let's do this again next year!

Observation

Thank God it went well. Managed time and the class well, despite the efforts of the visualiser and projector to sabotage me. Woo hoo!

1 to 10 and Back Again - An Ah Beng's Tale

Form a story from 1 to 10 and back again. Do it Ah Beng-style. =]

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Croatia 1-4 Ingerlund

Whodathunkit? England demolish Croatia to exact some measure of revenge for the Euro 08 capitulation - and how. A hat-trick from Theo "not-good-enough-for-Arsenal-but-good-enough-for-England" Walcott knocked the stuffing out of Slaven Bilic's men, with Rooney a key architect. Theo "I-went-to-World-Cup-2006-and-all-I-got-was-this-lousy-T-shirt" Walcott - Wal-Cott for the World Cup! (read this out and you can hear the pun =] )

Mac vs PC

REM - Imitation of Life

The single's video, depicting a scene of an elaborate pool party, was shot in Los Angeles by Garth Jennings. Michael Stipe, in an interview with MTV UK in 2001, explained how the video was made. "The entire video took twenty seconds to shoot. What you're watching is a loop that goes forwards for twenty seconds, backwards for twenty seconds, forwards for twenty seconds, backwards for twenty seconds, with one camera, static, and then using a technique called 'pan and scan', which is a technical thing that is used when they go from a widescreen format and reformat to fit your television or DVD, moving in on certain parts of the entire picture. And you'll see that we do that picking up various people within the frame."

Source: Wikipedia

Visit to Science Centre

Brought the 10 winning students to Science Centre where we saw an exploding hydrogen balloon, live electricity, F1 simulators and many more.

Didn't get a thank you though. =[

Teach Less Learn More with Spencer Kagan

I believe this workshop may just have revolutionised my teaching. Sure it sounds pretty easy to implement, but the hustle and bustle of a Singapore school does present an obstacle. Despite that, I will try to implement at least a few of the structures and examine the theory behind the eventual abolishment of traditional classroom practices.

Tan Howe Liang gets $10K from NTUC

I'm all for Tan Howe Liang getting the recognition he fully deserves, but why did it have to wait 48 years before someone gave him the credit, and why didn't SSC or SNOC or MCYS or some other governmental acronym do it first? Kudos to NTUC for doing it because no one else would.

Free Time

Plan for my free time:

1. Agape
a. Teach guitar to Agapeans [Beginners: Angela, Kenneth, Yinglei; Intermediate: Shannon]
b. Meet/call Agapeans [Matt, Duncan, Edwin & Jayne, Seng & Sharon, Edgar & Jiahui]

2. Meet/call friends [Art, Amy, Hafiz, Chongkiat, Sab, Nat, Keh, Ting]

3. Professionals/Students
a. Follow-up Exco [Oct-Dec 08: Yewhock, Jasmine (Yinglei), Phyllis]
b. Plan Professionals retreat 2008; forge Professionals vision/mission [bookmark]; launch buddies pledge

4. Entertainment
a. Watch movies [Aviator, Listening with Your Heart, Pulp Fiction, Pursuit of Happyness, Tommy Igoe's Groove Essentials, Worms 2]
b. Read J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter 4-7, Jason's Top 25 children's books, Newbery Award winners

5. Spiritual/Physical Health
a. Drink more water, MRET or otherwise
b. Do more QT
c. Sleep ONLY 8 hours a day, before 11pm
d. Spring cleaning: files and books in the corner
e. Exercise: Before shower - push ups [spider, normal, triangle], climb more stairs; weekly - swimming, jogging, cycling, tennis & football [when better]; KIV - dumbbells [tricep, bicep, pectoral]

6. Wedding/Flat
a. Plan for 23 May 09 wedding with Angela, Yewhock, Sharon, advisors [TBC: Edwin & Jayne, Edgar & Jiahui, P Nettie]
b. Plan for Damai Grove (renovation)
c. Wedding favour [iTunes playlist on CD-R]
d. Counselling

Au revoir, Andrew...

Had dinner with Andrew this evening at Cathay Restaurant. Of course he tried to pay again, but we wouldn't let him. He even tried the "I'm going to the toilet" trick; eventually we realised that he really needed to go.

I'm gonna miss the guy, and I wish him and Jenny all the best. He really is taking a leap of faith I couldn't see myself doing. Jenny must be a helluva gal to leave family and forfeit quarter-million for. Well, Jenny, what I do know is that you have a helluva guy pushing his boat out by uprooting himself to UK. =]

Theophilus Chan - Day of Redemption