Dilbert's In-duh-viduals

"We were given our yearly evaluations and handed our objectives for the upcoming year: "Everyone must exceed the Team Average in sales dollars." My boss explained that this was not a case of exceeding a previous average; all ten of us were expected to be above whatever our current average was."

"I love it when it stays light out until it gets dark."

"If my father were alive he would be turning over in his grave."

"I'd like to wish a happy 15th anniversary to our extinguished colleague."

"Man, I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!"

"You couldn't pay me to work on commission."

“They’re going through paper like it grows on trees.”