Friday, September 29, 2006

Capella: Modern Italian at CHIJMES

Went to the very romantic CHIJMES for a nice romantic dinner with Mr Wong. We were a little taken aback by how classy the place is. Felt kinda underdressed. Most of the diners were in shirts and nice dresses but that did not make any difference to the service that we received. From the time we were shown our table to the last goodbye, service was impeccable. Well the food was just as good, if not, better. Once again, i'll let the pictures do the talking.


Carpaccio di Bue: Thin sliced raw beef with arugala, silver parmesan cheese & virgin olive oil
The beef was 'oh-so-tender' and the olive oil dressing was fresh and aromatic!

Zuppe del Giorno: Tomato soup
Thick tomato soup. Nothing like your Campbell one. Slurp!

Sorbetti: Homemade wildberry sorbet
We were wondering why they would serve sorbet as a starter but what the heck - it was brilliant. Totally melt-in-your-mouth with an explosion of flavours. Mmm-mmm!

Main Course

Suprema di Pollo: Free range chicken breast stuffed with black truffle accompanied by wilted baby spinach laced with red wine prune glaze

Simply gorgeous. The baby spinach was infused with a right amount of red wine glaze so that it did not steal the flavour from both the tender chicken and the delicate spinach. The truffle was interesting too. It's an expensive fungus harvested by pigs.

Cernia al Asparagi e Funghi: Sea bass fillet on a bed of asparagus and mushroom salsa accompanied by scallion and vegetable salad, lemon butter sauce

I was wondering where the asparagus and mushrooms were. They were actaully cleverly ground and packed tightly together to form a base for the fish. Fantastic! Such creativity!


Pannacotta: Almond-infused cook cream with bitter chocolate sauce, seasonal berries compote

They sure kept the best for last. Aaron's eyes were either wide open or tightly shut when eating this dessert. Too much for him to take. The sweet cream was heavenly and with the combination of the bitter chocolate and sour berries. Oooooooooooo........


Well, don't need much explanation. However, they had really good coffee as it was blended from fresh coffee beans. Not the usual 3 in 1 type.

Well folks, what can i say. It was Assolutamente Delizioso

Capella: Modern Italian at CHIJMES
Service: 5/5
Price: This dinner set cost $60++ per pax. The normal main course menu's range is from about $25-$40

written by Jasmine Tang
edited by Aaron Wong

John West salmon

Wah this is one classic ad!

GLS sound check (not rehearsal, sound check)

What is supposed to be an honour and experience turned out to be a damp squib. We turned up at Emmanuel AG expecting to tune up and get used to the layout and sound, and lo and behold! we were expected to play like it was a full-dress rehearsal. You give us the sings late and you still expect good shit form us? Get real. Emmanuel didn't rehearse either and yet we get all the shit. We're not big enough for you is it? Since they're hosting so they can get by with half-past-six music but we get a dressing-down cos we did better than them? Pathetic.
Had to cope with sub-standard sound and equipment, no dedicated monitors to speak of, lousy bass sound and still expect me to tone down. And after all of us rushing down from work, ask us to rush through the stanzas, demand why we did not rehearse, and shake your head and say we expected better? Well so did I; I expected much better as well.
Scolded Jasmine when she rushed down form work without dinner without even bothering to find out why, making the whole band feel bloody useless like turning up was our fault and then thanking us for turning up. Appreciate is a verb, a gesture, not just a word.
Bloody hell, take your Christian bureaucracy and stick it where the sun don't shine. Suck up to the big churches and leave us to face the music, why don't you.


Apparently, we were a mistake and had to be grovellingly apologised over, when (get this!) no one else felt we played badly and even felt we played better than Emmanuel. Stop sucking up and take more pride in your own church man. Pathetic, not to mention leaving your ENTIRE band disillusioned and embarrassed cos you apologised to EVERYBODY for something we didn't even do wrong. Makes us look bloody stupid if you know what I mean. Bloody laughing stock can?
Pisses me off to the core. If you don't stand up for us it's still ok; must save face what. Backstab us some more.


It's official then. We weren't even in the wrong in the first place. It was communicated to us that it was just a "test-drive" and that we were only required to play two songs.
Accuse us some more lah.
Even more pissed now. Let's see how you grovel in front of us now.

Tim Howard

Now you know why i support Tim Howard and hope he returns as first-choice 'keeper at United. For a man to overcome his disability, Tourette's Syndrome, which causes involuntary tics and outbursts, and play at the highest level is testament to his ability.
That he has persevered is down to his deep grounding in the Lord.
Read his interview here and scroll down to about three-quarters to read what he has to say about his Christian faith.

EPL Week 6

(TT)vaches de chier
Louis Saha (@RED)
For Kuyt. Cheaper alternative to out-of-form Rooney.
Should've kept Kuyt.

Juan Pablo Angel (CHA)
For Ameobi. Has hit the woodwork many times recently.
His strike partners Moore and Agbonlahor score instead. Suay.

Thierry Henry (SHE)
For Shevchenko and Johnson. The return of the King.
Just about pays off.

Tomasz Rosicky (SHE)
For Gerrard. Will he score?
No he won't.

Francesc Fabregas (SHE)
For Parker. Returns to my squad.
Shoot, dammit!

Cristiano Ronaldo (@RED)
For Cahill. Selfish = good YFF score.
Man of the match.

Stilian Petrov (CHA)
For Duff. Wanted to get him last week, so in he comes now.
Expected more.

Emmanuel Eboue (SHE)
Rampaging rightback.
Breaks even.

Leighton Baines (WAT)
For Boyce and SHorey. Totally based on recommendation.
Totally wasted.

Hatem Trabelsi (WHU)
For Aurelio. Had to get a cheap one. Him or Ooijer.
Why didn't he get a run-out?

Chris Kirkland (WAT)
For Reina. Dirt cheap.

Total points: 75.0
Predicted points: 84.3


The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 6 has just passed.

Aaron (547.5 pts) secures 1st place with the 3rd-highest score of 75 pts, thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo, Thierry Henry and Emmanuel Eboue.

The gap is now 61 pts as Ben (486.5 pts) maintains 2nd place with 68.5 pts and is 48 pts ahead of Andrew, thanks to Frank Lampard, Dirk Kuyt, Steven Gerrard and Mark Schwarzer.

Andrew (438.5 pts) gets 3rd place with the highest score of 82.5 pts, thanks to Lampard, Ronaldo and Tim Howard.

Hsu (429 pts) gets 4th place with the 2nd-highest score of 76 pts, thanks to Lampard, Kuyt and Petr Cech.

Jasmine (428 pts) drops to 5th place with 58.5 pts, thanks to Ronaldo, Didier Drogba and Eboue.

At the other end, Zikai (283 pts) does himself no favours as he drops to 17th place with the low score of 21 pts, no thanks to the scoreless Luis Boa Morte, Michael Ballack, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Steed Malbranque and John Terry.

See you next week!

Which Get Fuzzy character are you?

Which Get Fuzzy Character Are You?

Ooh I love Satchel Pooch. The nicest dog there ever could be!

Take the quiz and tag me on which character you are!


Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay where you are. We're coming to get you.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you what number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are over-anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything.
If you are anal-retentive, please hold.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligences

I'm doing a project in school that required me to explore this theory on how human beings learn. I did a litle test on myself and found it revealed my most effective methods of learning.
I am primarily Verbal/Linguistic, followed by Logical/Mathematical and Musical. You can see my score by typing in "dh4rc5hz3003" here.
Take the test for yourself and see if your learning methods are suitable for the industry you're in. You can take it here.

Benfica 0-1 United

Apparently Manchester United prefer to play without me watching. Having decided in the end that Iwas too tired to watch last night's Champions' League match in Lisbon, I woke up this morning to discover that Louis Saha had given United a precious 1-0 victory, with Ronaldo intrumental.
Now if I had stayed up and watched, those diving faggots in the Stadium of Light would probably have scored through Nuno Gomes at some point. It was through my great sacrifice that United could prevail.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Project Genesis

What really happened before the Creation...
The pre-project hullaballoo at God, Inc.


Had my first tuition lesson with Eliana today. Having had a 17-hour sleep, I was understandably wide awake.
I started from the basics of the four operations, and identified and targetted the areas she had problems in. As suspected, this included problem sums. So our plan is to target topical weak points and problem sum strategies concurrently. I bought her two assessment books that addressed these shortcomings and found them very relevant and concise. I'm spending two hours with her each Monday, though this should increase as we get closer to SA2 in about five weeks time.
Her mum and I have agreed a rate of $25/hour, which I was reluctant to accept as I apprecaite their family situation (five children), but eventually did after I checked with her three times if she was comfortable with the fee she proposed.
It did not matter that it was slightly below market rate, as I'm doing it to help Eliana, to keep myself in touch with teaching and least of all the extra pocket money.
I hope Eliana can score really well for her Maths! I'm thinking of letting her take the Multiple Intelligences test next week to see what method of instruction she is suited for.

Monday, September 25, 2006

1,020 minutes

Warning. Do NOT sleep for 17 hours straight. When you wake up you will feel incredibly heaty, lethargic and generally unwell. Trust me; I know.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Capella: Modern Italian at CHIJMES

Cost: About $60+++ per head for the set dinner

Carpaccio di Bue: Thin sliced raw beef with arugala, silver parmesan cheese & virgin olive oil
Zuppe del Giorno: Tomato soup
Sorbetti: Homemade wildberry sorbet

Main course
Suprema di Pollo: Free range chicken breast stuffed with black truffle accompanied by wilted baby spinach laced with red wine prune glaze
Cernia al Asparagi e Funghi: Sea bass fillet on a bed of asparagus and mushroom salsa accompanied by scallion and vegetable salad, lemon butter sauce

Pannacotta: Almond-infused cook cream with bitter chocolate sause, seasonal berries compote


Pictures, comments and description to follow from Jasmine

What goes around, coms around

When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed all my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poke me in the ribs and whisper, "Youre next!"
They stopped doing that after I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Friday, September 22, 2006

EPL Week 5

(TT)vaches de chier
Dirk Kuyt (@CHE, NUF)
Picked him over the Pompey trio. After impressing against PSV, Kuyt should be champing at the bit.
Unlucky not to score early on. Encouraging performance.
Delivers against Newscastle. Long way to go for him though.

Shola Ameobi (@WHU, @LIV)
Replaces Saha. Gets two games to score.
Should've gotten Martins.
Should definitely have gotten Martins.

Andrew Johnson (WIG)
Chose him over Anelka. Everton should continue their good form.
Good decision. Takes over from where he left off at Crystal Palace.

Steven Gerrard (@CHE, NUF)
Must impose himself and be greedier. Picked him over Barry and Petrov.
Again, terribly unlucky.
Still unlucky. Upstaged by Alonso.

Scott Parker (@WHU, @LIV)
Captain Marvel. Replaces Ashley Young.
Did ok.
Captain's performance.

Tim Cahill (WIG)
Supporting Johnson in McFadden's absence. Fabregas goes cos he's playing United.
Fabregas scored better but my heart wouldn't've been in it. Should've done better.

Damien Duff (@WHU, @LIV)
Has impressed on the left wing. Replaces Ronaldo.
Scores his first goal.
Much more subdued.

Stephen Warnock (@CHE, NUF)
Gut feel that he'll get a game with Riise missing. Replaces Unsworth.
Booked early and faded out.
No game.

Nicky Shorey (@SHE)
Reading might just get a clean sheet.
Could and should've been much better.

Fabio Aurelio (@CHE, NUF)
Will definitely play with Riise missing. Replaces Matt Taylor.
Why didn't he start?
Much better.

Jose Manuel Reina (@CHE, NUF)
A chance to redeem himself. Replaces van der Sar.
Did ok but generally Chelsea didn't test him enough to score well. Too protected by Agger and Carragher.
Redeems himself.

Total points: 136.5
Predicted points: 117.3


The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 5 has just passed.

Aaron (472.5 pts) secures 1st place with the highest score of 136.5 pts, thanks to Damien Duff, Steven Gerrard, Jose Manuel Reina, Dirk Kuyt, Fabio Aurelio and Scott Parker.

The gap is now 54.5 pts as Ben (418 pts) drops to 2nd place with 81 pts and is 48.5 pts ahead of Jasmine, thanks to Gerrard, Kuyt and Jussi Jaaskelainen.

Jasmine (369.5 pts) gets 3rd place with the 2nd-highest score of 104.5 pts, thanks to Gerrard, Reina, Aurelio and Parker.

Hsu (353 pts) gets 5th place with the 3rd-highest score of 89 pts, thanks to Petr Cech, Aurelio and Andrew Johnson.

At the other end, Zikai (262 pts) does himself no favours as he drops to 15th place with the low score of 29.5 pts, no thanks to the negative Michael Ballack and Luis Boa Morte, and the scoreless Shaun Wright-Phillips, Steed Malbranque and Edwin van der Sar.

See you next week!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Some guys have all the luck

When we're born, our mothers get the compliments.
When we're married, our wives get the admiration.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.

The average man's life consists of 20 years of his mother asking where he is going, the next 40 years of his wife asking the same, and in the end the mourners asking themselves the same question.

Football crazy

Thankfully I've recovered from a rather bad patch in my eczema (not literally), and was able to play football on Sunday and Tuesday.

On Sunday it was same 'ol, same 'ol, with the usual people shooting and dribbling but not passing enough. Then there was a little conflagaration over a little bit of nothing between Benjamin and Jackson and it was really cool to see Jackson doing the Italian thing by putting his finger to his lips. Damn saht man.
Overall had a decent game with a few stray passes because I couldn;t gauge my strength accurately. Our new Nike Aerow 90 (courtesy of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and Prince al-Nicholas) skipped off the wet grass really quickly.
Was great fun playing with Shawn and try as we might, we couldn't score past Jasmine in goal. Didn't dare to rembat either.
Lost 3-1 in the end. Did I mention it was raining cats and dogs throughout? What fun we had splashing in the mud.

Played at St Wilfrid's near Bendemeer yesterday. Learnt a lot from all the lao jiao uncles, how to hold the ball up and control the play, when and where to run, why you shouldn't run into the corner, why one-twos at close quarters are not a good idea, etc. It;s a great learning experience and with the number of people we had on the small pitch, it wasn;t all too tiring. Enjoyed the game and scored a couple, playing as striker then defender. If our Agape guys could play in this style we would improve tenfold.

Then went to Jasmine's for bacon aglio and Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream! Yum!

Week 7

Well the first half of the semester is finally coming to a close, with a week's recess to catch up on sleep and our projects. Well let's list it for posterity's sake:

1. DED 100 Individual Essay (17 Nov)
2. DED 100 Problem-Based Learning presentation (7 Nov)
3. DED 101 Group Assignment (18 Oct)
4. DED 102 Student-centred Lesson Plan (3 Nov)

All hunky dory...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Pope Tackles Faith and Terrorism.

This is an excerpt of Time magazine's Sep 13 article on the Pope's visit to Germany.

His discourse Tuesday sought to delineate what he sees as a fundamental difference between Christianity's view that God is intrinsically linked to reason (the Greek concept of logos) and Islam´s view that "God is absolutely transcendent." Benedict said that Islam teaches that God's "will is not bound up with any of our categories, even that of rationality." The risk he sees implicit in this concept of the divine is that the irrationality of violence can potentially be justified if someone believes it is God's will. "As far as understanding of God and thus the concrete practice of religion is concerned, we find ourselves faced with a dilemma which nowadays challenges us directly. Is the conviction that acting unreasonably contradicts God's nature merely a Greek idea, or is it always and intrinsically true?"

This is indeed Benedict doing it on his own terms. Rather than tackling the challenge of fundamentalist terrorism with a pithy remark packaged for the 9/11 anniversary or reaching for a John Paul-inspired sweeping gesture, the professor Pope went digging into his books. He went so far as to quote a 14th century Byzantine emperor´s hostile view of Islam's founder. "The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war," the Pope said. "He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.'" Benedict added "I quote" twice to make it clear these were someone else's words. Nevertheless this reference was undoubtedly the most provocative moment of a provocative lecture. In a sense, explicitly including the Muslim prophet by name, and citing the concept of jihad, was a flashing neon signal to the world that the soft-spoken Pope intends to make himself heard clearly on this defining tension of our times.

You can see the rest of the article here.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

EPL Week 3

(TT)vaches de chier
Andriy Shevchenko (CHA)
Drogba seems to be reaping the benefits of playing with him.

*Louis Saha (TOT)
Losing his touch.

El Hadji Diouf (WAT)
Would've gotten Anelka but he wasn't available.

Jimmy Bullard (@NEW)
Ouch. Did I jinx him?

Nolberto Solano (FUL)
Where is he?

Francesc Fabregas (MID)
Continues his sparkling form.

Cristiano Ronaldo (TOT)
Continues his sparkling form.

Emmanuel Eboue (MID)
Should be more adventurous in shot-taking.

Nicky Shorey (MAC)
Solid performance.

Matthew Taylor (WIG)
Unusually muted.

Edwin van der Sar (TOT)
Repaid my faith in him.


The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 3 has just passed.

Ben (337 pts) secures 1st place with 74 pts, thanks to Jussi Jaaskelainen, Benjani Mwaruwari and Cristiano Ronaldo.

The gap is now 8 pts as Aaron (329 pts), still lacking Matt Taylor's points from Week 1, gets 2nd place with 71 pts and is 44 pts ahead of Andrew, thanks to Edwin van der Sar, Ronaldo and Francesc Fabregas.

Andrew (285 pts) gets 3rd place with 64.5 pts, thanks to Tim Howard and Ronaldo.

Rafizah (264 pts) does the girls proud with 5th place and the highest score of 85.5 pts, thanks to Andrew Johnson, van der Sar and Ronaldo.

Khamil (227 pts) gets 9th place with the 3rd-highest score of 79 pts, thanks to Thierry Henry, van der Sar and Fabregas.

Benedict (218 pts) gets 12th place with the 2nd-highest score of 82.5 pts, thanks to Henry, van der Sar and Fabregas.

Jasmine (258 pts) gets 7th place with 60.5 pts, only 6 points behind Rafizah and Hsu, thanks to Fabregas and Ronaldo.

At the other end, Kenneth (118 pts) does himself no favours as he drops to 20th place with the low score of 12 pts, no thanks to the negative Shay Given and Jon Arne Riise.

See you next week!

The Achiever

you chose AZ - your Enneagram type is THREE.

"I need to succeed"

Achievers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal-oriented.

How to Get Along with Me

* Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
* Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
* Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
* Don't burden me with negative emotions.
* Tell me you like being around me.
* Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Three

* being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
* providing well for my family
* being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
* staying informed, knowing what's going on
* being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
* being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Three

* having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
* the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful
* comparing myself to people who do things better
* struggling to hang on to my success
* putting on facades in order to impress people
* always being "on." It's exhausting.

Threes as Children Often

* work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
* are well liked by other children and by adults
* are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
* are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

Threes as Parents

* are consistent, dependable, and loyal
* struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
* expect their children to be responsible and organized

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

So this is me, what about you? You can take the test here.

EPL Week 2

(TT)vaches de chier
Andriy Shevchenko (@BLA)
Should score as Chelsea bounce back from defeat.
Phooey. Might drop him (and then he'll score).

*Louis Saha (@WAT)
Watford beware!
A decent outing but nowhere near as spectacular as Day 1.

Dimitar Berbatov (EVE)
Heard he's passed fit. Better be.
A reasonable contribution.

Steven Gerrard (WHU)
When he plays well, Liverpool click.
He played well, but where are the points. Too deep-lying.

Denny Landzaat (RED)
Experienced set-piece taker for Wigan; a Continental Bullard.
Disappointing. SHould've got the REAL Bullard.

Francesc Fabregas (@MAC)
Doubt many will get him. Without Thatcher to get stuck in, who's gonna stop Arsenal?

Cristiano Ronaldo (@WAT)
In sparkling form.
Almost scored with a header.

Fabio Aurelio (WHU)
Left winger disguised as leftback.
Inept defender disguised as a leftback.

Nicky Shorey (@WIG)
Reading's set-piece taker likes to get forward and whip in crosses. This season's Neil Clement? If Reading can tighten their ship, big points beckon.
Good performance. Better next time.

Matthew Taylor (@MID)
Boro beware!
Where are the points?

Edwin van der Sar (@WAT)
I'm keeping with his pair of safe hands.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


Friday, September 08, 2006

Brain scan

I had a brain scan today. After which they were proud to inform me that, yes, I have a brain.

No seriously I had an fMRI (functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) that took scans of my brain while I was engaged in some diagrammatic and algebraic mathematical equations. I had nine seconds to solve them and a further two seconds to give a yes/no response when an answer was flashed. On top of that, I had ear plugs and mufflers on, with an uncomfortable bite bar in my mouth that kept my mouth open for two hours. Swallowing saliva was difficult and I could not leave the chamber for the enitre time. When I got out I was all woozy and disoriented.

And what did they tell me about my brain?
"Wah your brain very long leh. Like ang mo one."
Me: "That would explain a lot."
Lab technician: "Hah?"
Me: "Never mind. Ummm, where's the toilet?"

Being paid $30 helped sooth my resonating headache.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

To KL and beyond!

If a Russian astronaut is a cosmonaut and a Chinese one is a taikonaut, what's a Malaysian astronaut called?


The Devil Wears Prada

Can someone say Oscar? Meryl Streep's five-star turn in the titular role as fashion editor Miranda Priestly makes this so watchable, and brings this iconic character to life. A must-watch for her acting alone. Simply debonair.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


Wah it's been three years since I last wrote an essay, and I've always been a last-minute essay-writer. Really not used to the process of researching, writing, editing etc. I am a perfectionist, so the essay must be perfect every step of the way, right down to the formatting. Sigh.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


I don't know quite what happened today. I've made a substantial recovery from my strained neck, but suddenly for a horrendous flare-up/ Problem is it came out from the blue so I have no idea what caused it. Everything was splotchy and red and I felt hot in 23C tempertatures. Hot flashes and cold sweat? Maybe it's menopause. =]
Swallowed (ahem) a 10mg Atarax and went to sleep for a good 4 hours before awaking for dinner and this post. I've not managed to do ANY revision for my grammar mock test. Must get busy tomorrow morning.
My stiff neck really ruined my weekend of tennis practice and football. Bummer. Hope I'm ok to play my tennis match tomorrow evening.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


And I have just learnt that Ashley Cole, that ungrateful, backstabbing git, has finally joined Chelsea, a club that will match his money-obsessed motives. Arsenal get a betrayed William Gallas in return, and dare I say it, Arsenal have got a better deal. The Frenchman will be hungry for revenge after this faithful service went unrequited without a fair contract now a jersey number. Chelsea just stink at everything they're doing, and now so does Ashley Cole. Those self-righteous pricks.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Marriage baggage

The newly-wed wife said to her husnband when he returned form work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're gonna have three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing with happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple who just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome.
"Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he bring her a dozen roses.
"Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl!"

Transfer deadline

As expected, United signed no one and instead loaned out Giuseppe Rossi. Long-term solution, yes, but if Saha or Rooney are injured, it could get serious.

Tottenham seem to have done good business by signing Ahmed Mido, Steed Malbranque and Pascal Chimbonda, with Wayne Routledge going out on loan to Fulham. This should give them more solidity.

Roy Keane goes transfer-crazy as well, signing Dwight Yorke, David Connolly and United outcast Liam Miller for Sunderland. He also signed two Celtic players. Interestingly, four of the five are his former colleagues.

Pompey have signed Andy Cole to spearhead their attack, while securing the supposed next big thing since Cristiano Ronaldo in Manuel Fernandes from Benfica.

Liverpool offload Kromkamp to PSV, with Florent Sinama-Pongolle and Anthony le Tallec giong out on loan again.

Newcastle sign Obafemi Martins, Antoine Sibierski and Rossi to augment their threadbare attack, while West Ham complete a double coup with the permanent signings of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano. I don't know how they did it, but this transfer stinks of bungs. I believe it's a sell-on opportunity for the Hammers so they can get some knock-ons when the pair move on next season.

Julio Baptista and Jose Antonio Reyes swap places as both player sattempt to make a new start following unhappy spells at Real Madrid and Arsenal respectively.

Aston Villa sign Stilian Petrov while Boro sign Robert Huth and Jonathon Woodgate.

Die lah. United how?

Joke of the Day

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet up.
The bear says, 'If I roar in a tree in North America, the entire forest shivers with fear.'
The lion says, 'If I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid.'
'Big deal!' says the chicken. 'All I have to do is cough, and the whole planet craps itself.'

The teacher asks one of her pupils if he knows his numbers.
'Yes I do,' he says. 'My father taught me.'
'Good. What comes after three?'
'Four,' answers the boy.
'What comes after 6?'
'Very good!' says the teacher. 'Your dad did a good job. What comes after 10?'

A murderer is found guilty and is sentenced to death by firing squad. His last request was to choose his firing squad. He chose Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yards.