Tuesday, October 31, 2006

EPL Week 11

(TT)vaches de chier

Louis Saha (@BOL)
Pure loyalty.
Pure unselfishness.

Didier Drogba (@SHE)
For Johnson, van Persie and Martins. The Drog's on form and Sheva's gonna be dropped.
Idiot.

Thierry Henry (EVE)
Top class.
Unlucky.

Michael Ballack (@SHE)
Who else can you get for 4 units?
He's purring now.

Damien Duff (CHA)
For Arteta and Barton. Newcastle's most dangerous attacking player.
Solid performance.

Ashley Young (TOT)
For Petrov. Consistent points scorer.
Disallowed goal.

Tomas Rosicky (EVE)
Due a goal.
Missed a close one.

Jon Arne Riise (AST)
For Ooijer, Johnson. Liverpool to put things right.
Expected more.

Craig Moore (CHA)
For Lescott, Clichy, Carr. Cheapest Toon defender.
Spot on.

Paul Scharner (@FUL)
Keeping the faith.
Good stuff.

Nicky Weaver (MID)
For Cudicini. Cheapest keeper around.
Doubles my investment.

Total points: 99.5
Predicted points: 74.1

----------
The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 11 has just passed.

Aaron (904.5 pts) strengthens 1st place with 99.5 pts, thanks to Michael Ballack, Louis Saha, Thierry Henry and Damien Duff.

The gap is now 139.5 pts as Ben (765 pts) maintains 2nd place with 87 pts and is 28 pts ahead of Andrew, thanks to Frank Lampard, Nwankwo Kanu and Nicky Weaver.

Andrew (737 pts) strengthens 3rd place with 96 pts, thanks to Lampard, Cristiano Ronaldo and Saha.

Jeremy (690 pts) gets 7th place with the 2nd-highest score of 119.5 pts, thanks to Wayne Rooney, Ballack and David Bentley.

Teckseng (652 pts) gets 10th place with the 3rd-highest score of 112 pts, thanks to Ballack, Aaron Lennon, Saha, Henry, Duff and Chris Kirkland.

Ivan (566 pts) gets 15th place with the highest score of 130.5 pts, thanks to Rooney, Lennon and Ronaldo.

Jasmine (709.5 pts) maintains 5th place with 77.5 pts, thanks to Ballack, Henry, Saha and Kirkland.

At the other end, Eddy (521.5 pts) remains entrenched in 18th place with the lowest score of 24.5 pts, no thanks to Yakubu Aiyegbeni, Emmanuel Adebayor, Harry Kewell, Stelios Giannakopoulos, Daniel Agger, Jermaine Pennant, Jens Lehmann, Gareth Barry and jamie Carragher.

See you next week!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Departed


A thoroughly engaging tete-a-tete between two shadow agents that thrilled every minute. I kid you not.

Friday, October 27, 2006

A deadly applause

Bono is at a U2 concert in Singapore when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
Holding the audience enraptured, he says into the microphone, "Each time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice is heard from the front, "Then stop clapping lah!"

Thursday, October 26, 2006

McCartney vs McCartney

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped."

"She's running around in circles," according to a close friend. "She will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this."

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumours abound over the split: "She's terrible," a source stated, "always
trying to get her leg over."

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore," a friend said. "He would get home at night and find her legless."

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

Mrs Mills-McCartney has tried to settle the dispute out of court but Macca had told her to hop it.

-----------

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate, "I'm doomed, who will want a one-legged gold digger?"
His mate says, "Try Paul McCartney."

-----------

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

-----------

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

New York New York (Reprise)

Another trip to this cafe. Had good food again.


Hot 'Virgin' Mary Soup - No vodka and only the freshest tomatoes in this concoction ($4.90)

This was my favourite! The soup was thick and even a little crunchy.



Lover's Sunset - Orange juice and cranberry mingle to recreate a beautiful sunset ($5.90)Beautiful!

Mind you, it was freshly squeezed orange!



Latino Chicken Escalope - Tender Cuban chicken thigh with superb gravy! Another Latino contribution to New York ($12.90)

Piggy had the chicken which was really well marinated. I loved the wedges!



Philly Cheese Steak Pizza - Sliced beef, capsicum, onion, cheese sauce, brown sauce, mozzarella ($13.90)

I had this. The beef was gooooooooood....

Hope to go back another time.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Happy Deepavali!

Wishing all my Hindu friends a Happy Deepavali!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Wishing all my Muslim friends a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Enjoy all the good food you've been waiting for!

EPL Week 10

(TT)vaches de chier
Louis Saha (LIV)
Class performance.

Andrew Johnson (SHE)
For Shevchenko. Just when I drop him, the Ukrainian scores. Then when I pick again, Mourinho will drop him.

Thierry Henry (@RED)
Top class.

Michael Ballack (POR)
For Sean Davis. Dirty German comes clean.

Mikel Arteta (SHE)
For Fabregas. A Spaniard by any other name would score as well.

Stilian Petrov (FUL)
For Ronaldo. Phooey. At least he played though; Ronaldo didn't.

Tomas Rosicky (@RED)
A bit too unselfish.

Andrew Ooijer (BOL)
Did ok.

Joleon Lescott (SHE)
For Trabelsi. Got the clean sheet and not much else.

Paul Scharner (MAC)
For Bocanegra. Should've had a shot or two.

Henrique Hilario (POR)
For Niemi. Should've gotten Kirkland for cheaper.

Total points: 112.5
Predicted points: 65.3

----------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 10 has just passed.

Aaron (805 pts) strengthens 1st place with the 2nd-highest score of 112.5 pts, thanks to Thierry Henry, Mikel Arteta and Louis Saha.

The gap is now 127 pts as Ben (678 pts) slips in 2nd place with 74 pts and is 37 pts ahead of Andrew, thanks to Andriy Shevchenko, Chris Kirkland and Frank Lampard.

Andrew (641 pts) barely maintains 3rd place with 85 pts, thanks to Shevchenko, Saha and Tim Howard.

Hingyau (547.5 pts) gets 12th place with the 3rd-highest score of 108 pts, thanks to Arteta, Shevchenko and Saha.

Teckseng (540 pts) gets 11th place with the highest score of 134 pts, thanks to Henry, Rio Ferdinand, Shevchenko and Saha.

Jasmine (632 pts) drops to 5th place with 91 pts, thanks to Henry, Saha and Michael Ballack.

At the other end, Kenneth (332.5 pts) struggles with a twisted ankle in 22nd place with the lowest score of 15.5 pts, no thanks to Darren Bent, Henrik Pedersen, Nolberto Solano, Stephen Warnock and Shay Given, who combined for -4 points.

See you next week!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine




Remember how Sideways was the sleeper hit of 2004 (I think)? Well you're looking at Oscar material again in 2006. For eccentric characters, you don;t get much weirder than this:
A struggling motivational speaker whose family are sick of his speeches; his capable wife, who is about the only sane person in the movie; her gay, pre-eminent Proust scholar brother (a hilarious Steve Carell), who tried to commit suicide when his boyfriend left him for his rival; the son who made a vow of Nietzsche-inspired silence and writing on notepads until he realises his dream of being a pilot; his expletive-spewing grandfather who spends half the movie telling him to "F*** lots of women!", and finally the flower of the family, the adorable Olive, who they are all trying to get to California on time to take part in some Barbie Doll-lookalike contest masquerading as a junior beauty pageant.
A heartwarming road trip coming-of-age story that doesn't try too hard, with the lovable Olive the honey-coated heart of the whole story.
Alternative title: How to drive from 700 miles without a clutch and stuck horn.
I put next month's salary on the fact that you're gonna love this one.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Ray of light

First time i've seen the sun in a week! Haven't been able to because of the haze. Finally the haze was a respectable 63 so can see the sun. Never thought I'd be so happy to see it. Skin improved as a result of reduced haze. Long may it continue!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

EPL Week 9

(TT)vaches de chier
Louis Saha (@WIG)
For Kanu, Samaras. Keeping faith in him.
Kanu scored too, but ift feels better when it's Saha.

Andriy Shevchenko (@RED)
For Angel. He should be hot this week as he has just recovered from a fever.
A real flop, this one.

Thierry Henry (WAT)
Watford beware.
Unlucky to have only 15 points.

Sean Davis (WHU)
For Valencia, Kranjcar. Based on recommendation.
My alternates weren't too good either.

Francesc Fabregas (WAT)
Due a goal.
Too shot-shy.

Cristiano Ronaldo (@WIG)
Should get the rub of the green this time. Maybe three deflected goals?
Not even three bench splinters on the bum.

Tomas Rosicky (WAT)
For Young. Due a goal as well.
Shoot on sight!

Glen Johnson (WHU)
For Shorey. Still affordable.
Excellent.

Hatem Trabelsi (SHE)
For Boulahrouz. Picked him too early the last time.
Perfect.

Carlos Bocanegra (CHA)
For Lescott. Cheap pick.
2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Antti Niemi (CHA)
For Howard. Fulham at home.
Disappointing.

Total points: 73.5
Predicted points: 74.7

----------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 9 has just passed.

Aaron (692.5 pts) strengthens 1st place with the 3rd-highest score of 73.5 pts, thanks to Louis Saha, Thierry Henry and Tomas Rosicky.

The gap is now 88.5 pts as Ben (604 pts) slips in 2nd place with 35.5 pts and is 48 pts ahead of Andrew, no thanks to Juan Pablo Angel, Cristiano Ronaldo and Niko Kranjcar.

Andrew (556 pts) gets 3rd place with 58 pts, thanks to Saha, Rosicky and Glen Johnson.

Irwan (482.5 pts) gets 8th place with the 2nd-highest score of 75 pts, thanks to Saha, Rosicky and Darren Bent.

Edgar (470 pts) gets 10th place with the 3rd-highest score of 73.5 pts, thanks to Saha, Matthew Taylor and Peter Crouch.

Eddy (434.5 pts) gets 14th place with the highest score of 81.5 pts, thanks to Jens Lehmann, Emmanuel Adebayor and Saha.

Jasmine (428 pts) gets 4th place with 52 pts, thanks to Saha, Henry and Sylvain Distin.

At the other end, Ryan (212 pts) remains entrenched in 23rd place with the lowest score of 19 pts, no thanks to Gary Speed, Sami Hyypia, Robbie Fowler, Mark Gonzalez and Nicky Weaver.

See you next week!

Quick thinking

Q: For a sentence using 'detail', 'deduct' and 'defence'.
A: Detail of deduct goes under defence.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I HATE THE HAZE!!!

Ok I officially hate it. I should be on MC tomorrow, missing a precious day in school because my face got swollen, especially the eyelids. I think the haze is the chief culprit, cos it certainly wasn't anything I ate.

I can't wait for the monsoon.

On the up side, a day's rest, time to catch up with assignments, and I skip ICT!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

GLS Part Trois

This is a good time as any to say that what happened is all water under the bridge. I reacted badly and tempestuously, under impulse and without much thought.

At the end of all this, I realise I love my shepherd dearly and would do anything to defend him. And so I apologise to anyone I may have offended or misled, anad assure you that everything is back to normal, if not better than before. The incident proves even the best of us can make mistakes, and that we should be forgiving and not pass judgment.

Let's move on.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Wigan 1-3 United

The scoreline doesn't tell you anything. It only says United won.

I was thoroughly entertained and encouragingly heartened by the sight of United giving it their all in the second half after being second best in the first. Perhaps a good old-fashioned rollicking from SAF (a-la Tiger FC) did the trick. On came Giggs and the rest was history.

Ronaldo's first-half absence highlighted his importance to United; the second demonstrated Giggs'. Suddenly United were more incisive, more urgent, and the rewards duly came from the unlikely source of Vidic and more staple fare from Saha.

Solskjaer wrapped up proceedings and this would've done their confidence a world of good.

Christmas script

Finally, Yewhock and I have finished the script after working overnight on it. We'll be discussing it this Sunday with the rest of the crew. I think it's pretty good. I would, wouldn't I? =]

"Four people complain to a psychiatrist that Christmas is meaningless. What is he to do?"

Friday, October 13, 2006

Sharapova's not just a pretty face


Maria Sharapova - Nike Commercial - video powered by Metacafe

Penguins are stressed too


Bad Penguin - video powered by Metacafe

Post-mortem

Hi Guys & Gals,

Just an update on out meeting with Liping, Activities Coordinator for AG Home.

I discovered that Seng Kwang is an Aaron too!

That apart, AG Home have agreed in principle to let us hold a two-day activity for them on 4 -5 Dec 06.

The Planning Committee will be reworking the activities next week to suit their needs as we have underestimated their quality of life there. Frankly their home is really well-run and an eye-opener. We will not be submitting our proposal to Young ChangeMakers this weekend as it is too rushed, and will instead aim to get everything
(activities, budget, etc.) finalised, approved by AG Home, and submitted to YCM by 15 Nov, if not earlier.

As our theme is Expanding Our Horizons, Liping felt the activities failed to really stretch them, apart from the line dancing, TalentTime and career sharing, as they had done most of the stuff before, rock climbing included. So we'll be looking at how we can really s-t-r-e-t-c-h them.

There'll be GESL next Thu at 3.30pm. Shahidah and her Admin Dept will be putting together a short presentation with the pictures and some of the activities they have there. Planning Dept hopes to have something concrete to show you too.

We learnt that there are only 30-40 girls there between 12-18 years old, instead of 60 as previously thought. So the groups will be smaller in size. Liping reiterated that our men are to have no physical contact with the girls, so we'll be working furiously behind the scenes while our ladies bond with the girls there.

Special thanks to Seng Kwang, Kelvin (ad-hoc driver as well), Faezah, Fahmei and Shahidah for making the effort to meet Liping. We all had a fruitful time and despite Liping's discomforting frowning, we got on pretty well. Thanks again, guys!

We will be pulling perhaps one from each dept to add strength to our Planning Dept as they'll be heavily involved because, uh, the planning stage is reaching its climax. So maybe the heads can decide who'll be coming over? Can even be the head him/herself.

Hamzah will be planning the meeting date for Planning Dept to meet. Meiling, Faezah, Fahmei, pls let him know when you are free to meet. The three joining Planning Dept, pls post and let us know who you are ASAP.

That should be all. Shahidah, pls feel free to add anything I missed.

Guys who went, pls post activity ideas here so we can get a brainstorming going. Fahmei, SK, your ideas were interesting. =]

Yours sincerely, Aaron
PS: Their address is incorrect. Should be 119, Lor K Telok Kurau.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Wenger likens international coaches to 'joy-riders'

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has compared international managers to joy-riding car thieves.

Wenger has often expressed his frustration at seeing his players return tired or injured after international duty.

'Gerard (Houllier's) thoughts on the matter echo mine,' Wenger said. 'He thinks that what the national coaches are doing is like taking the car from his garage without even asking permission.

'They will then use the car for 10 days and abandon it in a field without any petrol left in the tank.

'We then have to recover it, but it is broken down. Then a month later they will come to take your car again, and for good measure you're expected to be nice about it.'

Wenger also complained that international managers fail to contact their club counterparts, with one notable exception.

'Sven-Goran Eriksson was the only one who used to come and talk to me regularly,' Wenger added.

taken from soccernet.com

Once again Arsene Wenger has got his anologies spot-on.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Viviocity disappoints

I went there myself to check it out. It's freaking Willy Wonka with the weird traffic police guy and they guys on Segways. Half the shops were closed and those were open were really disappointing, save for Tangs.

The kids' playground looked pretty good and Tellytubby-ish, if a tad small. And the sky park is just a waste of space. It's only a matter of time before the huge pond gets mouldy and yucky...

Punctuation is in the eye of the beholder

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men.
I yearn for you.
I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart.
I can be forever happy.
Will you let me be yours?

Maria

----------

Dear Thomas,

I want a man who knows what love is.
All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me.
For other men, I yearn.
For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we're apart, I can be forever happy.
Will you let me be?

Yours, Maria

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A 6-minute history of Singapura

Taken from Talking Cock in Parliament, this is the funniest thing I've seen in years. This could become as big as the bak chor mee episode. Hossan Leong starrs.

Bloom's Taxonomy




I found a website showing Bloom's Taxonomy, showing different types of learning, and resulting incremental degrees of difficulty.

You can find it here. It is sometimes also represented as a pyramid.

Monday, October 09, 2006

The importance of punctuation

Men: A woman, without her man, is nothing.
Women: A woman: without her, man is nothing.

The Break-up


So romantic right? Brought Jasmine to watch. Her colleagues were like, "So romantic! Watching movie under the stars at Padang! What movie?"
"The Break-up."
But seriously I could relate to some of the guy issues like not wanting to do dishes.
Brooke: "I want you to want to do dishes!"
Gary: "Why on earth would I want to do dishes?!"

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Spizza at Harbourfront

This time, we went with 3 other people for out weekend dinner. Had a difficult time trying to find food at the newly opened Vivocity and so we settled for dinner at this restaurant at harbour front. Italian food again. What's cool about this place is that they have individual female names for the different pastas. There are even names for the appitisers and desserts.

Salad



Titus - salad with chicken pesto, sun-dried tomatoes, parmesan


Appitiser



Caligola - crispy calimari with pizzaiola sauce

Pizza


Katerina - tomato, mozzarella, beef carpaccio, rucola, shaved parmesan



Tara - tomato, mozzarella, egg, bacon, button mushrooms


Personally, i enjoyed Tara. Sadly, it only reminds me of Terrible Tara in my class. The ever complaining, ever whining, ever not handing up work Tara. But it tastes so good here. Life is just full of paradoxes.

Spizza
Harbourfront
Food:4/5
Service:4/5(mind you, they were very shorthanded and the ever smiling manager had to handle a very unreasonable customer. Best man!)
Location: 4/5 (actaully 3/5 for some ple who said that it's less accessible compared to Suntec... excuses... humph!)
Cost: $11/pax

The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

I'm not sure if Nat King Cole ever did come to Singapore, but his little ditty should be our seasonal anthem right about now. Yes it's hazy, hazy night again in Singapore, as the PSI hit a high of 150 at around 2200hrs last night. I was safely indoors with the air-conditioning on and the windows tightly shut but there was a temple carnival downstairs with kids running and playing on an inflatable castle. This despite a warning issued by the NEA that vigorous outdoor physical activity should be avoided. The parents really don't care.



This is the extent of the haze near my house. Those of you who have been to my house know that I am able to see Suntec City (12km away) from my Sengkang flat on most days and nights, but I can't see anything now. I can't even see the school down the road.

It's causing the dirt to stick to my face when I sweat, causing a real irritated reaction. It's gotten quite bad these few days.

I don't feel good.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

ORD anniversary

I can't believe it's been 1 year to the day that I collected my IC from my unit. Since then, Angela has almost snapped my IC, and I have switched from mass communications to mass education. Can't think which is more serious.

I'm halfway through my semester at NIE and have managed to keep in touch with only a handful of my 2 SIB comrades. *winks to Julian and Ben*

I do want to change my IC though, as I was a 12-year-old when my photo was taken.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Basic Theory Test

Hooray! Passed on first try. Dead easy lor. But my friend wasn't so lucky; she failed having said the day before that she could not imagine how anyone could fail basic theory.

Indeed what goes around comes around. =]

The Dilemma

You are driving your speedboat on a wild stormy night looking for survivors after a flood. You pass by a house and you see three people o the roof - an old woman who looks as if she needs urgent medical attention, an old friend who once seved your life and the perfect man/woman you've been dreaming about. The floodwaters continue to rise and you know they could drown real soon. Your boat can only take two people including yourself. In the distance you see the lights of another boat bearing down on your position, but that could come too late for the people on the roof as it is moving very slowly. Moreover, it seems to be a small craft and can only take two passengers. What would you do?

Model answer just below, so think about your answer first before peeking.

-----------

Ask your friend to take the old lady in your boat to the hospital. Get onto the roof and wait with the man/woman of your dreams for the slower boat.

Perfect solution huh?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Tuition lesson 2

Had another fruitful time with Eliana today. Managed to really isolate long division and multiplication timetables as her weak points. Grilled her for the best part of 90 minutes on this and still the results are unsatisfactory. Have instructed her mum to continue bombarding her to nable her to nail long division and her timetables by next week.
We also found time to do the multiple intelligence test on her. She is primarily naturalist and intrapersonal, no surprise for a nine-year-old girl, when they love nature and think they know themselves inside-out. The rest were rather weak so she wanted to take the test again. It also showed her to be average in verbal-linguistics when in actual fact her English is top-notch. It really convinces me the evaluation is not suitable even for Primary Three pupils.

GLS again

As far as I'm concerned, the matter is now water under the bridge. I met up with Pastor to talk about other things but we got to talking about GLS eventually.
I explained how we felt and he did likewise; I understood his position and he felt he misunderstood the situation. He will speak to the band soon regarding that day. To me, I'm glad we can just get on with it and have realised that I love my pastor dearly.
I'm moving on.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Idioms that almost make sense

When the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat.
You look more flustered than a barefoot squirrel in a tyre store.

Ask Dogbert

Dogbert answers tough questions with tough love.

Dogbert,

I'm becoming a little concerned about how my wife and I are raising our 3-year old. Whenever one of us makes a suggestion to him regarding an activity, he refuses to do it and within a few minutes presents the suggestion as one of his own ideas. I think we may be raising him to be a manager. What are we doing wrong?

John


Dear Toilet,

I wouldn’t worry. From what you described, the kid actually performs activities, albeit after claiming them to be his idea. An actual manager would convince other people to do those activities for him. Your son is merely a liar, and that bodes well for a career in marketing.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert

I plan to move into Mr. Adams’ house in the next few months and call it my own. My reasoning is based on Mr. Adams’ argument from Dilbert Newsletter #58 that there can be no "Holy Places" because we move through space and so no place on earth, i.e. his house, has a fixed universal point that can be recorded and owned. Can you advise Mr. Adams of this and remind him that any argument he uses to preserve his ownership can also be used to invalidate his theory about "Holy Places."

Your fan,

David


Dear Duhvid,

Allow me to respond to your coherent argument in a way that only you can understand: If a grapefruit is happier than a bulldozer, then that means your toaster can turn jam into sound.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert,

I have concluded that the only way I will advance further in my job is to sleep with the boss. The problem I have encountered is that we are both men and neither of us are homosexual. What should I do?

Ben


Dear Mr. Dover,

Try closing your eyes and listening to your iPod.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

Taken from Dilbert.com

In-duh-vidual Differences

Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.

So a few friends and I were at a museum, and they had this wall of analog clocks with a city name written under each one, showing what time it was around the world. We had about ten clocks in view, when my friend looks at a clock, looks at his watch, looks at the clock again, and says, “Well, this one’s pretty close, but all the others are way off.”

In the interview, which had been going very well up to this point, the interviewer asked, "Why do you want to leave your current job?" In my Induhvidual moment, I responded "It's too much work." Needless to say I didn't get any further consideration.

A few of us were talking about fighter planes and one of my friends asked, "If a plane is going faster than the speed of a bullet when it fires, does the bullet come out the back of the plane?" We were all surprised when he failed out of the engineering program the following semester.

I was paying my cell phone bill with a debit card. The Induhvidual behind the counter carefully checked my signature with the one on the card. I guess that’s to prevent people from stealing wallets and going around paying the victim’s bills.

Taken from Dilbert.com

God's Debris by Scott Adams

I chanced upon an e-book written by Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert. This is by no means a comic book, nor is it humourous; on the contrary, it seems to be some sort of philosophical fiction written to get you thinking about existential stuff.

The author says that the e-book is "emphatically not for everyone". If you don't like your perceptions challenge, he says, this is not for you. It's a thought experiment, he says. I've taken to reading it, albeit slowly and cautiously. I believe his warning is that it could rock your faith, or strengthen it.

You can download the e-book here for free.

This is an excerpt of the synopsis for your cautious perusal.

Jasmine and Lizhu, this is exactly the type of book you'd relish.

---------

Synopsis

Imagine that you meet a very old man who—you eventually realize—knows literally everything. Imagine that he explains for you the great mysteries of life—quantum physics, evolution, God, gravity, light, psychic phenomenon, and probability—in a way so simple, so novel, and so compelling that it all fits together and makes perfect sense. What does it feel like to suddenly understand everything? God's Debris isn’t the final answer to the Big Questions. But it might be the most compelling vision of reality you will ever read. The thought experiment is this: Try to figure out what’s wrong with the old man’s explanation of reality. Share the book with your smart friends then discuss it later while enjoying a beverage.

Dilbertisms

"Well that really throws a wrench in the ointment."

"I think there's something wrong with my alarm clock; it keeps making this really loud noise in
the morning!"

When talking to a colleague about my newborn twins, she asked what genders they were. “A boy and a
girl,” I answered. My colleague’s next question: “Are they identical?”

"That's water over the bridge."

"You're dead meat in the water."

"That stands out like a diamond in a goat's butt!"

"You shouldn't violate the law because that's illegal."

"They have us by the balls of our feet."

"Never pet a burning dog."

"It's hotter than a French hen."

"They should lock him up and throw away the book."

"They cooked themselves. Now they have to lay in it."

“Make sure you cross your p's and q's.”

"Don't look a blind horse in the eye."

"I put my wrong foot in the wrong mouth at the wrong time!"

"Cows died to give us that cheese."

"Don't slap the hand that milks you."

"Call me back at your least convenience."

"It's six of one and one of the other."

"I can't do it in the spur of a hat."

"That's going to change the whole ball of works."

"They're not the brightest box of cookies."

"The pro's for are more than the pro's against"

“I wouldn't touch him as far as I could throw him.”

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Singapore MCP Idol

I saw this post on my friend's blog, where she quoted it from Today. You can read the full letter at Todayonline.com. They've merged two letters into one but the meaning's there. Can't believe such Neanderthals still exist.

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Best get back to the kitchen
Letter from Seah Leong Khai

I refer to the latest figures on divorces released by the Department of Statistics ("Divorce, inter-racial marriages on the rise", Sept 26).

The 6,909 divorce cases in 2005 in Singapore is an alarming number. This is 8.2 per cent higher than in 2004 and has increased by 33.8 per cent since 2000.

Why do people get divorced? The most common reasons are infidelity, financial problems, unreasonable behaviour, physical and emotional abuse and failed expectations.

The conventional wisdom on divorce is that it only happens after both husband and wife have tried their best to save their marriage. But I have my doubts. In more than 70 per cent of the cases, it was the wife who filed for divorce. Why?

Women continue to work after their marriage and having children. This, I believe, must be the one of the main contributing factors for the high rate of divorce.

Women prefer to work after marriage because this provides financial independence. When things get tough after marriage, these women are not willing to ride it out with their husbands and are not afraid to call it quits as they know they can easily support themselves.

Another problem arises when women continue to work after marriage. Husbands, who are usually the breadwinners, expect to return home to warm home-cooked meals and a well-organised house. But if wives are also working, they feel stressed and complain about doing the housework after their day at the office.

Men will begin to feel deprived of these things. Tensions and misunderstanding build up.

If women stop working after marriage, I believe it can help to foster a better husband-wife relationship and thus reduce divorces.

Women should understand that if they can't stand the heat of working life, it's better for them to get back into the kitchen.

------

This is a sad, sad day for civilised society.

Irritating things to do in lifts

Say 'Ding!' at every floor.
Draw a little chalk square on the floor and announce that it is your personal space.
Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
Make farting noises.

New York, New York at Citylink Mall



Cost: $48.94

Soup:
Roasted mushroom cappuccino - Cream of roasted mushrooms with frothed milk. Topped with a sprinkle of cocoa powder. The perfect pick-me-up!

Main course:



Juicy burger supreme - A killer burger with a pure beef patty served real juicy. Roll up your sleeves now!



Brats wrapped in bacon & cheese - Bratwurst sausages (brats) tightly wrapped with bacon and grilled with loads of cheese!

Beverages:

Iced ultra-rich chocolate velvet
Dark strawberry quencher

Conclusion:

This could become one of my favourite places. Pricing remains a little steep but genuinely worth it. Main courses were typically American - hearty and sinful. The dark strawberry smoothie was wonderfully smooth and rich. The soup was a big disappointment though, probably cos I don't like mushrooms.
Jas: I love the soup! I love mushrooms! I prefered the dark strawberry quencher though. Less like milkshake.

Food: 4/5
Drinks: 4/5
Service: 3/5
Ambience: 3.5/5

EPL Week 7

(TT)vaches de chier
Louis Saha (NUF)
Cheaper alternative to out-of-form Rooney.
Injured.

Juan Pablo Angel (@CHE)
My statement of intent to Chelsea.
Recoups investment.

Thierry Henry (SHE)
The King is hitting form. Charlton beware.
Not clinical enough.

Luis Valencia (@BLA)
For Rosicky. Gut feel, this one.
Decent outing.

Francesc Fabregas (@CHA)
Due a goal.
Should've scored.

Cristiano Ronaldo (NUF)
He's doing well.
Hit the woodwork THREE TIMES?!?

Ashley Young (FUL)
Fulham are hopeless away from the Cottage.
Ace pick: 25 pts.

Nicky Shorey (@WHU)
For Eboue. Couldn't afford Manu, so in comes Shorey, free-kick taker extraordinaire.
Solid performance again.

Khalid Boulahrouz (AST)
For Baines. I think Chelsea can keep a shut-out, though I hope not.
Dropped.

Joleon Lescott (MAC)
For Trabelsi. Cheaper Everton defender.
Denied a clean sheet.

Tim Howard (MAC)
For Kirkland. Inspired by a Soccernet article about his faith. Hence my faith in him.
Denied a clean sheet.

Total points: 71.5
Predicted points: 84.2

---------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 7 has just passed.

Aaron (619 pts) retains 1st place with 71.5 pts, thanks to Ashley Young, Cristiano Ronaldo and Thierry Henry.

The gap is now 50.5 pts as Ben (568.5 pts) strengthens 2nd place with the 2nd-highest score of 82 pts and is 66 pts ahead of Hsu, thanks to Young, benni McCarthy and Frank Lampard.

Hsu (438.5 pts) gets 3rd place with the 3rd-highest score of 73.5 pts, thanks to Young, Lampard and Ronaldo.

Rafizah (479.5 pts) gets 6th place with the highest score of 84 pts, thanks to Young, Andrew Johnson and Edwin van der Sar.

Jasmine (428 pts) maintains 5th place with 61 pts, thanks to Young, Ronaldo and Henry.

At the other end, Hingyau (382 pts) does himself no favours as he drops to 13th place with the low score of 26 pts, no thanks to the scoreless Tim Cahill, Louis Saha and Tim Howard.

See you next week!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Pierside Kitchen & Bar, One Fullerton

Cost: $100.25 after discount
Fully paid by the very generous Mr Wong. Thanks sweetheart.: >



Appetizer:
Seared Maine scallop carpaccio with Granny Smith, asparagus, mint & matsuhisa dressing - $18+++
The scallops were fresh and succulent. What a savoury start to the evening!



Soup:
Vichyssoise of celeriac, leek and potato, smoked salmon & chive bruschetta - $12+++
This cold soup took me by surprise because, well, it was cold. It was rather bland and disappointing.
Jas: I witnessed a very shocked expression on another diner when he tried the soup. So i guess we were not the only ones.


Main course:




Pan roasted rockfish with dukkah, quinoa tabouli, salsa verde & beurre blanc - $28+++
This was really disappointing. The fish and garnishing was quite limpid, probaably because I didn't know half the ingredients.



Oven roasted miso cod, new potatoes & sweet peas - $28+++
This was on the other end of the scale. It was overpoweringly rich and infused with miso; the whole dish left me hankering for water to wash it down. A few bites of the fish tasted really good, but after that it was a little too much. Best shared.

Dessert:



Valrhona dark chocolate fondant & vanilla bean ice cream - $14+++
Jasmine was waxing lyrical about it and I can't understand why. This was hot chocolate fudge ensconsed in chocolate sponge, but isn't that just a high-class microwaved Twiggie/Twinkie?
Jas: Hey, i'm a big big chocolate fan okie! It looks so plain boring on the outside but inside, it's oozing with dark high class chocolate. Hey Mr Wong, don't deny that your eyes were tightly shut when you put that spoonful of rich chocolate and ice cream into your mouth okie!!



White coffee pannacotta, Bailey's Irish cream & toffee ice cream - $14+++
This was the better of the desserts, I found. My only complaint was that the portion was a wee bit small.

Conclusion:
Food: 3.5/5
Service: 4/5
Location: 4/5


I agreed with Jasmine when she said we shouldn't have gone to Capella first; the rest are paling in comparison. And they almost let me go without paying for dessert. Had to point it out to them. Bloody $32.65 chivalry. =[
Jas: My HERO!!! My honest hero.

Next stop: Olive Ristorante, Labrador Park (al-fresco only; hope it'll be a cool night =])
Jas: This time, it's my treat. Mr Wong is going to ke tok me man!!! : /

pictures by Jasmine
words by Aaron

Happy Children's Day!

To all my readers who are children or were once children, Happy Children's Day!

To all teachers and students, enjoy your holiday!

To the rest of you, carry on working please. *sigh*

GLS part deux (via Allen)

Post removed.