Thursday, November 30, 2006

Marketing buzzwords

New: Different colour from previous design.
All new: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.
Exclusive: Imported product.
Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
Simplicity in design: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.
It's here at last!: Rush job; nobody knew it was coming.
Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.
Years of development: We finally got one that works.
New generetion: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.
Breakthrough: We finally figured a way to sell it.
Maintenance-free: Impossible to fix.
Satisfaction guaranteed: Manufacturer's satisfaction, on cashing your cheque.

Hello Kitty musical

How good is the Hello Kitty musical gonna be if the characters have no mouths?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Happy Feet




Too good to be true, and I mean that negatively. Too uber-cute lah.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Years of a Man's Life

When God was creating the world, he was also creating animals and allocating their lot in life as well as their lifespans.

God told the cow, "You will work all day and slog for your master. You will live 50 years."

"What?" asked the cow incredulously. "Such a thankless job and you want me to do it for 50 years? Give me 20 years, and you can take back 30 years."

So God agreed and took back 30 years.

Next came the monkey. God told the monkey, "You will make monkey faces to make people laugh. You will live 30 years."

"What?" asked the monkey incredulously. "Such a thankless job and you want me to do it for 30 years? Give me 20 years, and you can take back 10 years."

So God agreed and took back 10 years.

Next came the dog. God told the dog, "You will sit at the door of your master's house and bark at whoever comes into the house. You will live 20 years."

"What?" asked the dog incredulously. "Such a thankless job and you want me to do it for 20 years? Give me 10 years, and you can take back 10 years."

So God agreed and took back 10 years.

Finally, it was the man's turn. God told the man, "You will eat, sleep, drink and enjoy life. That is all you need to do. You will live 20 years."

"What?" asked the man incredulously. "Such a wonderful job and you want me to do it for only 20 years? Tell you what: Give me the 50 years that the cow, monkey and dog returned to you and give it to me. Then I will live 70 years."

So God agreed and gave him 50 more years.

This explains why for the first 20 years of a man's life, he eat, sleeps, drinks and enjoys life, works all day and slogs for his boss for the next 30, makes monkey faces at his grandchildren to make them laugh for the next 10, and for the last 10 years of his life, sits at the door and barks and the people who come in.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Tapas Tree

Jasmine and I celebrated our second anniversary at this Spanish restaurant called Tapas Tree in Clarke Quay. No pictures this time, as the ambience was too dark to take any pictures, but we had a good time nonetheless. It set us back about $88.

The ambience is great for conversation and the chairs are really relaxing. Three amigos play pseudo-Spanish classics at the al fresco area.

Sopa de Ajo De la Casa - Garlic soup with egg and croutons - $7.50
This was heavenly. The garlic was so infused in the soup that it made the taste so rich and full. Strangely enough I could only describe it as really good instant noodle soup, but the fact was that this was really addictive.

Bacalao al Horno - Baked codfish with chickpeas - $13.00
This was supposed to be the tapas or appetiser but was the best dish overall. The cod was perfectly done and melted in the mouth.

Paella con Carne - All-meat paella with chorizo, chicken, ham and beef - $32.00
This was rather disappoiting considering its their main dish. The rice was a little starchy and basically didn't warrant $32. I'd much rather have had a few more tapas and bread.

Churros con Chocolate - Cinnamon-laced sticks with homemade chocolate sauce - $8.00
This was interesting. Have seen it before but never tried it. Rather nice but can get it cheaper elsewhere.

Tango mocktail - grapefruit and orange juice - $7.50
Meringue mocktail - Apple, cranberry and lemon juice topped with soda - $7.50
All sour and refreshing!

Food: 3.5/5
Ambience: 4/5
Service: 3.5/5

We're definitely coming back here to sample more tapas, and bringing some friends along!

Monday, November 20, 2006

EPL Week 14

(TT)vaches de chier

Louis Saha (@SHE)
Decent performance.

Thierry Henry (NUF)
For Camara. The King was rested but rescued the Gunners in the end. Vindicated.

Andriy Shevchenko (WAT)
Phooey.

Michael Ballack (WHU)
Rested.

Francesc Fabregas (NUF)
For Lampard. Disappointing.

Sean Davis (WAT)
For Landzaat. Disappointing.

Steve Sidwell (CHA)
For Ronaldo. Disappointing.

Ben Thatcher (FUL)
Pathetic.

Paul Scharner (AST)
For Lescott. Top drawer.

Nicky Shorey (CHA)
For Woodgate, Trabelsi. Good choice.

Carlo Cudicini (WHU)
For Weaver. Safe choice.

Total points: 82
Predicted points: 76.2

----------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 14 has just passed.

Aaron (1146.5 pts) maintains 1st place with 82 pts, thanks to Thierry Henry, Paul Scharner and Nicky Shorey.

The gap is now 108.5 pts as Ben (1038 pts) breaks the one-grand mark in 2nd place with the highest score of 106 pts and is 39.5 pts ahead of Hsu, thanks to Bernardo Corradi, Joey Barton and Kevin Doyle.

Hsu (998.5 pts) gets 3rd place with 77.5 pts, thanks to Nwankwo Kanu, Marcus Hahnemann and Ashley Cole.

Syafiq (853 pts) gets 11th place with the 3rd-highest score of 91.5 pts, thanks to Wayne Rooney, Tim Howard and Cole.

Ivan (811 pts) gets 13th place with the 2nd-highest score of 101.5 pts, thanks to Rooney, Kanu and Cole.

Jasmine (903 pts) slips to 5th place with 55 pts, no thanks to the scoreless Ben Thatcher, Denny Landzaat and Michael Ballack.

At the other end, Zikai (554.5 pts) remains entrenched in 21st place with the lowest score of 0 pts, cos he left out a defender in his starting lineup. He missed out on 33 pts. That's 154.5 pts he's missed out on. There's one every season, but not two weeks in a row!

See you next week!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The evils of liquor

A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his Secondary One class about the evils of alcohol, so he created an experiment to make his point.
Producing two glasses and towo small worms, he first poured s amall amount of water into the first glass.
Putting in the first worm, he asked the glass to observe it carefully. The worm swam about in the glass.
Then, he took the socond glass, and poured in a small amount of whiskey and dropped in the remaining worm.
The worm writhed about and samk to the bottom of the glass, quite dead.
"Now," said the teacher. "What can we learn from this experiment?"
One kid answered right away, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

What schools really want to tell you

On a school's automatic answering machine:

"Hellp! This is Singapore Primary School. Please listen tio all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent, press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work, press 2.
To complain about what we do, press 3.
To scold staff members, press 4.
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you, press 5.
If you want us to raise your child, press 6.
If you want to reach out and slap someone, press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year, press 8.
To complain about bus transportation, press 9.
To complain about canteen food, press 0.
If you realise that this is the real world and your child must be accountable for his/her own behaviour, homework and that it's not the teacher's fault concerning your child's lack of effort, hang up and have a great day!

Casino Royale

What Batman Begins was to the Batman franchise, Casino Royale is to James Bond. Daniel Craig is a fantastic Bond, suddenly strippping him of his debonair demeanour and gobsmacking gadgets and giving him a vulnerability that we can indentify with. Previous Bonds would never been seen dead in a Ford, much less alive. The film kinda dragged on towards the end; I thought the movie was ending for about 45 minutes! Excellent work for the kill scenes though. Extremele gritty and you really feared for Bond's life (and balls) in certain scenes. Guys, don't be afraid of squirming during the torture scene. I know how you feel.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air
I never thought I could be so free-e-e!

I'm done with my essay! All 1,974 words of it! Of course I fully intend to edit and re-edit it, try to include a few more cross-references, but otherwise I'm done! Unbelievably happy!

Printing and submitting tomorrow.

Aaron - Football superstar!

"From day one, I wanted to bring pace, penetration, mobility and athleticism into the squad, and Aaron epitomises that." - Steve McClaren, England manager

"(Ashley Cole) may be a great defender but I don't think he enjoys playing against Aaron and I can understand that." - Martin Jol, Tottenham manager

"Aaron is a pleasure to play with. He is a tremendous talent and (we) are lucky to have a player like him." - Robbie Keane, Tottenham striker

"Aaron confirmed that his talent can no longer be bottled." - Soccernet Insider

"Aaron is one of the best talents ... and he showed that against a great team today." - Martin Jol

Class outing

Well, not quite. But I intend to bring a sizable group of my P3s out to Sentosa and Vivocity on 20 Nov to relax after their exams (not mine: I still have Maths on 22nd and GESL to worry about). Really looking forward to a day of reminiscing and being with those little angels (or devils).

Essay

OK I've recovered from cursing my essay to being half-done. Problem is I need to submit it tomorrow!

But shouldn't be a problem given my propensity for last-minute work. Just wish word count limit was bigger. Having trouble condensing.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Can't add printer

I can't add my HP PSC 1402. It was working fine until 13 Nov. Despite uninstalling it, reinstalling it, automatically activating the print spooler, it still can't be added. The error message reads: "Operation could not be completed." At one point it told me something about a RPC server problem.

I suspect it could be a print spooler problem or lack of disk space. What should I do?

Short and sweet

In a university creative writing class, students were tasked to write a concise essay containing the following four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay:
"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant! Who did it?"

Monday, November 13, 2006

EPL Week 13

(TT)vaches de chier

Louis Saha (@BLA)
Pure loyalty.
Duly rewarded.

Henri Camara (CHA)
For Rossi, Drogba. Wigan have won three on the trot.
Why not Drogba?

Andriy Shevchenko (WAT)
For Henry, Kanu. He's starting to score now.
Good return.

Michael Ballack (WAT)
Too cheap to drop.
Wth?

Frank Lampard (WAT)
For Duff. Optimal opportunity against Watford.
Disappointing. You'd expect him to get among four goals.

Denny Landzaat (CHA)
For Young, McCulloch. Dropped to accommodate Lampard. Cheap filler.
Why not McCulloch?

Cristiano Ronaldo (@BLA)
Ronaldo remains.
Disappointing.

Ben Thatcher (NEW)
For Riise. A woeful Newcastle beware.
Good result.

Joleon Lescott (AST)
For Moore, Webster. Filler.
Why not Moore?

Jonathon Woodgate (WHU)
For Djourou, Ooijer. Filler.
Good choice.

Nicky Weaver (NUF)
Cheapest keeper around.
Good choice.

Total points: 92.5
Predicted points: 74.1

---------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 13 has just passed.

Aaron (1064.5 pts) breaks the one-grand mark in 1st place with 92.5 pts, thanks to Louis Saha, Andriy Shevchenko and Henri Camara.

The gap is now 132.5 pts as Ben (932 pts) maintains 2nd place with 84 pts and is 11 pts ahead of Hsu, thanks to Shevchenko, Rob Hulse and Joey Barton.

Hsu (921 pts) gets 3rd place with the highest score of 112 pts, thanks to Didier Drogba, Shevchenko and Ashley Cole.

Jasmine (903 pts) gets 4th place with the 3rd-highest score of 104.5 pts, thanks to Drogba, Saha and Camara.

Saiful (548 pts) gets 20th place with the 2nd-highest score of 105 pts, thanks to Saha, Shevchenko and Stewart Downing.

At the other end, Zikai (554.5 pts) remains entrenched in 19th place with the lowest score of 0 pts, cos he left out a defender in his starting lineup. He missed out on a top score of 121.5 pts through Drogba, Shevchenko, Camara and William Gallas. There's one every season.

See you next week!

Metaphors from student essays

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the matephorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actualy lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmone or something.
SHe had a deep, throaty, denuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog a at a lamp post.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Simple solutions

Singapore have announced that they have found the solution to global warming. Predictably, Singapore has launched the Speak Mandarin campaign that will single-handedly reduce and reverse global warming.
Why? Because Huayu COOL!

---------

During the space race in the 1960s, NASA decided it need a ballpoint pen to write in zero-gravity environments in outer space. After much research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at the cost of US$1m. The pen was an expensive success.
The Soviets, when faced with the same problem, used pencils instead.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Food for thought

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal ideas from many is research.
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Confession is good for your soul but bad for your career.

EPL Week 12

(TT)vaches de chier

Louis Saha (POR)
Pure loyalty.
Well rewarded.

Giuseppe Rossi (SHE)
For Drogba. Stands in with Martins and Ameobi out. Showing my faith in this boy.
Newcastle never got off the blocks.

Thierry Henry (@WHU)
Top class.
Too physical for you Thierry?

Michael Ballack (@TOT)
He's purring now.
Like a pussy.

Damien Duff (SHE)
Injury risk but should play upfront.
Misfire, misfire!

Ashley Young (MID)
Consistent points scorer.
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!

Cristiano Ronaldo (POR)
For Rosicky, Downing. Ronaldo returns.
Who's Beckham?

Jon Arne Riise (RED)
Clean sheet?
A little disappointing.

Craig Moore (SHE)
Cheapest Toon defender.
You get what you pay for.

Johan Djourou (@WHU)
For Scharner, Clichy. Clean sheet.
Clichy gets the nod instead.

Nicky Weaver (MID)
Cheapest keeper around.
You get what you pay for.

Total points: 67.5
Predicted points: 72.8

-----------

The Group of Death III

Well done all!

Week 12 has just passed.

Aaron (972 pts) slips in 1st place with 67.5 pts, no thanks to Craig Moore, Nicky Weaver and Johan Djourou.

The gap is now 124 pts as Ben (848 pts) gains in 2nd place with 83 pts and is 37 pts ahead of Rafizah, thanks to Dirk Kuyt, Nemanja Vidic and Joey Barton.

Rafizah (811 pts) gets 3rd place with the highest score of 110.5 pts, thanks to Edwin van der Sar, Ashley Young, Louis Saha and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Jasmine (798.5 pts) gets 5th place with the 3rd-highest score of 89 pts, thanks to Kuyt, Vidic and Saha.

Irwan (700.5 pts) gets 12th place with the 2nd-highest score of 95 pts, thanks to Kuyt, Saha, Steven Gerrard, Olof Mellberg and David Bentley.

At the other end, Zikai (554.5 pts) remains entrenched in 19th place with the lowest score of 32.5 pts, no thanks to Jonathon Woodgate, Andriy Shevchenko and Emmanuel Eboue.

See you next week!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Amici Bar & Restaurant

24 Tanjong Pagar Rd

Bread, Appetiser, Main Course, Dessert, Coffee/Tea for $69.90+++/head

A-la carte prices in parentheses

Bread



Bruchetta - Garlic toast topped with fresh tomatoes and basil ($7)




Garlic cheese toast - Oven-naked garlic bread with melted mozzarella and cheddar cheese ($8)

Appetiser



Prociutto melon - Parma ham served on a melon boat ($15)Sauteed mushrooms -



Portobello and wild mushrooms tossed in a light tomato base ($12)

Main Course



Scaloppina - Thinly-sliced beef tenderloin in marsala and red wine sauce ($29)



Tagliata firenze - Sliced tender beef in balsamico and olive oil topped with fresh parmesan cheese and rocquette salad ($30)

Dessert



Tiramisu ($9)



Cointreau bombes - orange ice cream with a flambe! ($9)

Aaron: Remember Capella? This is right up there with it. I'm really beginning to like Italian food, and I don't mean pizza and pasta.

Food: 4 stars
Ambience: 3 stars
Service: 4 stars (just for the battery-operated black pepper crusher-cum-flashlight alone)