Tuesday, September 28, 2004


A transvestite: likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Hot Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter! He won't come!

Durian vs Coconut

If you know the answer, shhhhhh!

Question: If a durian and a coconut were to fall on your head, which would hurt more?

Storm in a teacup

If you guys know the answer, shhhhhhhhh!

Question: Would you stir your coffee with your right hand or left hand?

The Dyslexic Man

A dyslexic man balks into a war...

The Bicycle Repairman

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Ain't that Bush and Powell?"

The barman replies: "Yep that's them."

So the guy walks over and said: "Hello, what you guys up to?"

Bush said: "We're planning World War 3!"

The guys asks excitedly: "Really? What's gonna happen?

Bush says: "Well, we're gonna kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaims: "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turns to Powell and says: "See I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iraqis!"

"The bloody tower..."

Once upon a time Dracula decided to hold a competition to see which was the cchampion bat in his household. All the bats were honoured to take part.

The rules were simple: Whichever bat drinks the most blood will be the winner.

So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes, her mouth sovered in blood.

Dracula says: "Congratulations! How did you do that?"

The bat said: "You see that tower? Behind it is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of the family."

"Very good," said Dracula.

The second bat goes and somes back after five minutes, her face covered in blood.

Dracula is astonished and says: "How did you do that?"

The bat replies: ""You see that tower? Behind it is a school. I went in and sucked the blood of all the children."

"Impressive," said Dracula.

Now the last bat goes and comes back barely a minute later, literally drenched in blood.

Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that?", he asked.

The bat replied: "You see that tower?"

Dracula: "Yes?"

And the bat says: "Well I didn't."

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Her lift doesn't quite go to the top floor

Ok just so you know who we're talking about, but I can't say explicitly, let's just call her Letchbo.
And she insisted that Terry Fox ran 42 HOURS a day to raise funds for cancer research. Go figure

The answer is 2 of 3. And here's why. If you change, 2 times out of 3 you get a car. And is you stick, you only a car 1 time out of 3. And this shows that intuition can sometimes get things wrong. Simple?
Click to enlarge


woke up at 1, then did housework, then went my frend place play xbox (Shrek 2), then watched united win 1-0 comfortably. shiok. the only worrying thing is what bad luck we have in front of goal.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

C'mon pple...

I received just one attempt, but i'll reveal the answers tmr night regardless. C'mon, think!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Two goats and a car

This is an interesting maths problem taken from Mark Haddon's excellent book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time":

You are in a game show on television. On this game show the idea is to win a car as a prize. The game show host shows you three doors. He says that there is a car behind one of the doors and there are goats behind the other two doors. He asks you to pick a door. You pick a door but the door is not opened. Then the game show opens a door that you did not pick to show a goat (because he knows what is behind the doors). Then he says that you have one final chance to change your mind before the doors are opened and you get a car or a goat. So he asks you if you want to change your mind and pick the other unopened door instead. What should you do?

Are the odds of you winning the car higher, lower or the same if you change your mind and pick the other door?

I will supply the answer with a diagram as explanantion in about three days. In the meantime please explain your answers in the comments feature. I was pretty bowled over by the answer myself, and yet it was mathematically flawless.

If you need more time just let me know, too.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


Saw Sab today, so am happy. Missed you lots gal. Almost like rediscovering a long lost sista. =]

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

2-1 again!

Well we didn't need no Diego Forlan this time, as Mickael Silvestre popped up just when it looked like United's embarassing superiority was going to go unrewarded again.

Twice the ball rocketed off the Frenchman's bald pate from the unerring accuracy of Giggs' left foot, and twice Jerzy Dudek grabbed air, although his defenders were the bumbling ones this time.

For all the guile of Luis Garcia and Xabi Alonso, and the more direct threat of Djibril Cisse and Steven Gerrard, the Liverpool attack simply had no answer to the way United were closing them down.

All the pre-match hype about the goalkeepers being the weak link failed to materialise, with Roy Carroll replacing Tim Howard, and Dudek having a decent outing.

United flew out of the blocks, as they threw everyone forward in search of a settling early goal. Instead, the Liverpool goal seemed to lead a charmed life, as Cristiano Ronaldo teased and tortured the Riise and Kewell, and even hit the woodwork with Dudek beaten.

This was no one-half wonder, as United possessed a hunger that seemed to signal that their season started now, with Rio Ferdinand proving a rock on which Liverpool foundered.

It was breathtaking stuff, as the swagger and one-touch football returned, and quite simply, Rafa Benitez's men could not cope.

In the end, 2-1 was a flattering result, as United could have been at least three-up by the break. But as Jose Mourinho would say, it is just three points.

But it is also just United's second win in six games. Nevertheless, they can take heart from three points off a title contender, as well as an assured display from the United defence.

I am very happy!

Well it took many many months to make my day, but she finally did it. My bestest friend (let's call her Minah for anonymity's sake) finally contacted me as she got a mobile phone again, after we lost contact for a few months. I'm so overjoyed I forget when it was that I last talked to her, let alone saw her. But let's forget that. Can't wait to see you again, Minah. =]

Sunday, September 19, 2004


I am unfit; it's official. I basically ran my gut out in soccer today, and almost died. But it was fun. eeeagggh. back to work tomorrow.

Friday, September 17, 2004


Wow! So fun to work only five days!

Went to Ikea after work today with Jeannie and Angela today, apparently to buy furniture, but we ended up stuffing ourselves silly woth Swedish meatballs, chicken wings and chocolate mousse. Ended up being $8/head well spent, consuming about 25 meatballs and six chicken wings altogether.

And tomorrow I'm going to IDS to change my UQ intake to BA in Feb 2007, and then going Golden Mile to recce for green papaya to make somtham (papaya salad). We'll see.

Oh and just bought ten (!) GV ticket vouchers! Hmmm I feel like a movie...


Pray with me: I asked Mdm for stay-out, as it can only improve my skin. She was reluctant to make the effort, but she sadi she'll ask S3 on Monday, so keep those prayers coming!

Thursday, September 16, 2004


OK don't ask how, but I have vouchers for a free body spa and facial spa. My friend already tried it out and gave it the thumbs up, so I guess it's pretty good. Anyone wants the voucher just drop me an email.

The zebra

There was a zebra who had always wondered:
Was he a black horse with white stripes,
or a white horse with black stripes?

This little zebra traversed the world, looking for a wise man who would give him the answer. Eventually he came to Timbuktu, where everyone told him he would find the answer.

He was directed to the famous wise man, who knew the answer to everything.

With his heart in his mouth, he asked the question:
"O Wise man, am i a black horse with white stripes,
or a white horse with black stripes?"

The wise man replied slowly, his eyes closed.

"You are what you are." Then he said no more.

The zebra was ushered out before he could ask more. Now suitably flummoxed, he asked the assistant why he did not receive an answer, since the wise man knew everything.

The assistant insisted the answer had been given.

The zebra asked: "So am I a black horse with white stripes,
or a white horse with black stripes?"

"That's simple," the assistant replied. "You're a white horse with black stripes."

"How do you know?" the zebra inquired.

"Well, if you were a black horse with white stripes, he would've said, 'You is what you is.' "

Jazz Concert

OK to get four free tickets to a jazz concert by SAF Central Band and featuring four local jazz musicians. It's on 23 Sep at 730pm, Singapore Conference Hall (near Shenton Way). All you have to do is call 64505895 and leave your name. Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Wild Wild Wet

Oh and I can buy Wild Wild Wet tix at half price for $6.50. So let me know if you want any. Exclusive to my faithful readers.

GV movie tickets

I am able to buy 10 GV movie passes for $5.50 each, any time any day. interested. Of course I want some for myself, but anyone wants any? Let me know asap. Exclusively for readers of this blog.

Unnmoveable vs Irresistable

A US Navy ship is travelling in Iraqi waters when they receive this radio message: Please alter your course 15 degrees east to avoid a collision. The ship navigator concurs and advises the ship captain that one of them needs to change course.

The ship captain replies: I am Captain Roger of the USS Dell and I suggest YOU change your course.

The reply is prompt and incenses the captain: I'm going to insist that YOU change your course instead.

The captain replies: I am the Commander of aircraft carrier USS Dell, with enough firepower to blow you out of the water, and we will take action if we perceive and lack of cooperation or aggression toward us. We are not diverting from our charted course!!! Why on earth should we move?!?!

The reply was short: We are a lighthouse.

The immoral doctor

Tim had felt guilty all day long. No matter how hard he tried to forget it, he just could not. The shame was overwhelming.

But he would hear a voice tell him: "Don't worry, you aren't the first doctor to sleep with your patient, and you certainly won;t be the last. And you're single, so just let it go."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Tim, you're a veterinarian..."

Beer Drinkers' Survey

Topic: Beer Drinkers' Survey
Date: 6 - 17 Sep 2004 (closing date is Wed, 15 Sep)
Time: 1100 - 2130 hrs (any time suitable for the interviewee)
Interview length: 30 min
Venue: Field Dept, 4th floor, 241 River Valley Rd (at the junction of River Valley Rd and Jln Mohd Sultan)
Pre-requisites: Interviewees must be MALE and 18 - 59 years old
Incentive: Successful interviewees will be paid in cash on-the-spot, on conclusion of the interview, as follows: 18 - 29 years old: S$30; 30 - 59 years old: S$40
Exceptions: All interviewees and their family members / close friends must NOT be working in industries such as market research, advertising, PR, or manufacturer / retailer of alcoholic beverages

If you or your friends wish to be considered for this survey, kindly contact Aaron at 94566789 or through email at aaronwong@journalist.com as soon as possible, with your name, age and contact number.

ACORN Marketing and Research Consultants, the company conducting the interviews, will then contact potential interviewees individually by phone to assess their suitability. ACORN will then arrange for an interview with you directly. Please be assured that ACORN will only use your contact number for the purposes of arranging an appointment for this survey ONLY. Your information will be kept confidential.

I hope to hear from you soon. This, in my humble opinion, is a really simple way to pick up some extra spending money. If you don't qualify for this particular survey, be rest assured that there will me many more in future that I will update you with. Alternatively, if you don't to hear from me about these surveys, just let me know. Thanks.

Yours sincerely, Aaron

Monday, September 13, 2004

Mission Trip

OK the reason why I haven't been blogging for a week is because I was in Thailand on a mission trip. Nothing to do with the SAF, though we did fly near Kanchanaburi, but rather on an evangelistic mission with 10 others from my church. Five of us were first-timers, but it didn't matter as we all gelled wonderfully and enjoyed oourselves tremendously.

I probably wasn't in the best of condition for the trip, and had a constant cough and slight fever throughout the trip. This and the inherent eczema exacerbated by the daily exposure to the elements. But all this is unimportant.

What was important was how God opened my eyes to His ministry and the wonderful thing He is doing in Khon Kaen and Mahasarakam, towns in Northeast Thailand, one of the most impoverished provinces.

It was so wonderful to see the joy on the children's faces as we visited schools from primary level all the way to university level.

Seeing the primary children with their torn shoes and socks, threadbare uniforms, but still clenching their hands and closing their eyes so tight when we prayed, it broke my heart. But seeing their faces light up with joy when we sang and danced together, it just made all the sweat and fatigue worth it. And they were just so happy with little gifts that we gave, which back home in Singapore our kids wouldn't give a second glance. But here they grasped these as if they were the only things they had.

I put my cap on a little girl's head (let's call her Boo) and she wore it as if she believed she was queen for a day, never letting it go. Due to our policy on personal gifts though, it had to be returned, but I did manage to leave my whistle with her. I'd like to think she's driving her family crazy with it. I'll post a picture soon.

The high school (or what we'd call secondary) students were certainly a rowdy bunch. While at primary level the boys were noisier than the girls, when they grew up it reversed. The boys were all in Boy Scout uniforms, and the girls in Girl Guides' and Girl Scouts'. How they cheered and called for more after our songs and skit! And how eagerly they pressed forward for autographs from us afterward! If we can direct this desire into a longing to know more about God, Thailand will know revival!

Though, it was the Bachelor in English Language students that connected with me. These are young men and women my age who have never set foot outside Thailand, but yet harbour such wonderful ambitions to be tour guides, news reporters, boxers. They show such a willingness to learn about our Singaporean culture, but yet their humility and bashfulness keeps them from asking more. Three of the four male students I spoke too have actually heard the gospel, and two of them had attended church before. Indeed the gospel of Jesus Christ has begun to permeate the youth of Thailand, and we will see them use their energy and vitality to reach their countrymen. A second year student, Off, actually attended one of our children's outreach ministries a night later. I trust God ministered to him, and I'm thankful that we were able to speak to him before he went home that night.

The youth in Mahasarakam under Ajaan Dat were an inspiration to us because they were just SO talented in dance, compared to the ponderous Singaporeans, and they did it with such joy, as if they meant every word, even though it was in English, their weaker language. We were blessed by them, and it was a blessing to be able to have been used by God to answer their prayer for yellow t-shirts.

It was also a blessing to see Air's ministry slowly but surely come to fruition. She now has some land, and she is planning an orphanage, training school and English centre. May God bless her and James richly.

Personally I've been blessed tremendously by the love of our Thai brethren and can't wait to go back. I'm told I have to skip March as it is too hot, but let's see if God heals me eh? I have 16 days leave next year, so it'll be just nice.

The food there is FANTASTIC! May be on the spicy side, but their papaya salad, tomyam, pork, chicken was heavenly. And with all the fresh fruits, it was even healthier than what we eat back here. We were even blessed with a home-cooked dinner by our driver, who shared the same name as the noise his horn made - Phi Phu. We bought all sorts of groceries for him, that bluffed him to say it was for us to bring back to Singapore. He was wondering wy Singapore didn't have all that stuff!

You know, it'd take me forever to talk about everything, and I don't have forever, so I won't. If you wanna know more, just pick up the phone and drop me a line lor!

San-sern Pra-Jao!!!

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Let the commercialisation commence

OK I'm a sellout. See the little unobtrusive ad on the right hand column? OK now click on it. Good. I've just earned a few cents. OK Guys. Do me a favour and click on it whenever you log in, as many times as you want. Helps augment my meagre NS pay...

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Flatulently speaking...

When C3PO said he was affluent in over 6 billion languages, did he really mean effluent? If you're feeling rather gassy sing along to this, with appropriate sphinctural percussion:

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So let's have beans for every meal!

Here's to Heinz, Inc. America's singular culprit of global warming.

5 days to go!

OK I'm trying to psyche myself up. Doesn't quite work cos all I'm looking forward to is the weekend and suddenly I have to pack all my stuff for mission trip. Anybody want anything from thailand? =] I draw the line at Tata Young CDs.