Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 20

This is my team for Week 20. Two game weekend! GO Latics!

Wayne Rooney
Rooney will play, even if Ruud is rested. You have to fancy him against West Brom and Birmingham.
vs WBA: Had a rare off day, but should make right against Birmingham.

Jason Roberts
Replaces Peter Crouch, Milan Baros and Robin van Persie. Might score in resilient Wigan displays. That I picked the Wigan front two shows how far they've come.
vs MAC: Continued his fine goalscoring form with a brace.

Ahmed Hossam Mido
Spurs have good matchups identical to United's, and Mido is tipped to start and score.
vs BRM: Only Spurs striker not to score. Could make amends against a poor WBA.

Henri Camara
Will he deliver again?
vs MAC: Delivered the winning goal.

Jimmy Bullard
Set-piece taker.
vs MAC: Did OK. But expected more. Has another chance @WHU.

Kevin Nolan
Good lineup and due a goal.
vs @SUN: Rested.

Park Ji Sung
Tough call. But Ronaldo seems to be on the subs bench most of the time, so this could be Park's time. Encouraged by his Carling Cup goalscoring display.
vs WBA: Did well and if more selfish, he'd be a better scorer.

Michael Dawson
Probably a wrong choice considering I had 1.66 units to spend. But Spurs have a good matchup. Lee might've been a better choice.
vs BRM: Was Man of the Match and did well.

Gary Neville
As long as United's newly-found solidarity manifests itself, Captain Muddle will be in my defence.
vs WBA: Provided good penetration on the right and linked up well with Park.

Tal Ben Haim
Replaces Stephane Henchoz and Lee Young Pyo. Bolton have an excellent defensive record at the Reebok. Didn't research the Israeli enough.
vs @SUN: Got the clean sheet but go booked again. Thankfully he's available for MID.

Jose Manuel Reina
He's back!
vs NUF: 12.5 pts but suffered more because of the Magpies' ineptitude.

Projected points: 171.8
Actual points: 92.5

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Composer's Christmas

Make out your Chopin Liszt early before Debussy season, When you have time to check out Verdi good bargains are.
Can still get gifts Faure a good price, not have to Handel large crowds and have time to give Bach things you don't want.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Election Day vs Christmas Day in Singapore

It'll be a blue Christmas for some careless speakers.
All someone wants for Christmas is his election deposit.
Someone will deck the crowds with blasts of dialects.
Some will be dreaming of a white outcome.
Many will sing: Let me vote! Let me vote! Let me vote!
Someone will dash through the polls, laughing all the way.
Some will be naughty and some will be nice.
Some will go tell it at the open field and the faithful will come.
Oh waht fun it is to win in a one-horse open race.

Taken from IS Magazine

Friday, December 23, 2005

Staff Meetings

Ah, yes. My holiday's finally winding down to a close and what a relaxing time it's been! But finally I'll be in school (teaching) mext week, and let's see how it goes.
Have three staff meetings next week alone, and then I go on course for two days, before the real thing starts.
Can't hardly wait.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I am I.N.N.O.C.E.N.T. by TT Durai

I... am not aware of anything.
N...KF pays me peanuts.
N...KF pays all my expenses.
O...ften take 1st class on SIA.
C...ocky is my middle name.
E...ach $ only 10c go to patients.
N...KF backdates my leave and bonus.
T...ap must be golden.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Men's ALG X'mas Party on 21 Dec

Before:
This should be fun. Guys and gals getting together for some fun, food and festivity. It'll be a good time just to thank God for the year we've had, and basically renew our bonds for the coming year. See you there!

After:
It WAS fun! We've identified whoa re the blur cocks in our ALG and we hoot them like mad. Also we had a great time playing the Polar Bear, 007 and Cock-a-doodle-do! games. Had great fun and laughter. Plus I got a Chronicles of Narnia book! While someone got my shark biting game.

Posting

Hooray! I've been posted to Punggol Primary School on Hougang Ave 8, just one bus ride away from home. I have to report for some co-ordination meetings next week before attending a preparatory course when 2006 comes around. I'm in a pensive mood as I really don't know what to expect, but here goes nothing.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Week 19 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 19 has just passed.

Aaron (1585 pts) consolidates 1st place with the highest Week 19 score of 118 pts, thanks to Henri Camara, Wayne Rooney and Darius Vassell. He sruck back from last week's disappointing shut-out.

The gap is now 38 pts as Gareth (1547 pts) takes 2nd place with 101.5 pts, thanks to Michael Owen, Rooney and Gary Speed.

Chongkiat (1541.5 pts) slips to 3rd place with 96 pts, only 5.5 points behind Gareth, thanks to Joey Barton, Rooney and Vassell.

Syafiq (1202 pts) rises 2 places to 12th with the 2nd-highest Week 19 score of 106.5 pts, thanks to Barton, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Jermaine Jenas.

Kenneth (1068 pts) rises 1 place to 16th with the 3rd-highest Week 19 score of 103.5 pts, thanks to Owen and Franck Queudrue.

Eddy (295 pts) does well in 22nd with the 3rd-highest Week 19 score of 103.5 pts, thanks to Owen and Edwin van der Sar.

Jasmine (1310.5 pts) falls 2 places to 8th, just 5 points behind Jeremy (1315.5 pts) with 55.5 pts, no thanks to El Hadji Diouf, Matthew Etherington, Edgar Davids and Anton Ferdinand. She also bought the wrong Kamara (Diomansy) and had Dennis Rommedahl go absent with Reina, who went all the way to Japan to surrender his clean sheet status.

At the other end, nothing too fantastic about Benedict (921 pts) with the worst Week 19 score of 33.5 pts. Marcus Bent, Jose Antonio Reyes and Nigel Reo-Coker decided not to be around when their team lost.

See you next week!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 19

This is my team for Week 19. Liverpool are off to Japan!

Wayne Rooney
Missed out on his 46 points, so definitely keeping him.
A cool 19.5 points.

Collins John
Cheap option against Blackburn.
Decent performance, but could have done better.

Darius Vassell
Will lead the line in Cole's absence.
Good all-round performance and perhaps unlucky not to get among the goals.

Henri Camara
Replaces Paul Scholes. Charlton's form isn't the best, really.
Got lucky. Hat-trick hero for me.

Jimmy Bullard
Considered Trevor Sinclair. Set-piece taker against Charlton.
Might keep this guy for a while, as long as Wigan strut their stuff.

Steed Malbranque
Replaces Darren Ambrose. Home game with Boa Morte and Diop back from suspension.
Ambrose wouldn't have been a much better option, but didn't hear any injury news about Steed.

Matthew Etherington
Do well against Newcastle.
Tried his best, but I got this wrong.

James Collins
Gut feel. Standing in for Gabbidon.
Wrung him for 7.5 points. Probably never gonna use him again.

Gary Neville
United's new skipper will lead by example and get some crosses in.
Not bad, considering I got him for under 7 units.

Lee Young Pyo
Replaces Wes Brown. No idea about this one.
Decent performance.

Jose Manuel Reina
Keeping him for one week.
Hope the cup final defeat won't affect his confidence too much

Projected points: 70.0
Actual points: 118.0

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Football, bloody hell.

What a game! My ball control was rusty, panicky on the ball, afraid of getting muddy, but we won 4-1, and I even scored a goal! My first proper game for six months so I guess it'll take some time to get the composure back, but I think I can do this.
Showered at the rubbish dump before taking a cab home to shower properly and moisturise, but get this: I'm not scratching! I may actually be able to lead a normal life again. Thank God.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Xbox MANIA!

Played Xbox at Teckseng's place for many many hours today, following one-on-one street soccer. FUN!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

STOOPPID

Well, well, well.

The curse of Teckseng comes to haunt me as I accidentally left Wes Brown out of my lineup. So ZERO points for me this week, where potentially I could have got 135 points. At least the Group of Death is more deadly now.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

A Memory

Fleet of foot is life
Here today, gone tomorrow
A memory lingers

Sustained by friendship
It was alive, but has gone
Only you remain

A Tribute to CPL Lim Aik Liang Gary

You were an ambitious and focussed man. In the time I knew you, you knew what you wanted and how to get it.

My deepest yearning is that you found the one Person you really wanted to know, though you did not know you needed to. I desperately hope that between myself, Kevin, Benjamin and Julian or someone else, you would have heard something about Jesus Christ that triggered something in your heart.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope when I get to Heaven, you will say to me that in your darkest hour, you remembered Him, and accepted Him.

God bless you, Gary.

(Gary, aged 21, passed away on the evening of 9 December 2005 at Alexandra Hospital, three months before his Operationally Ready Date. He was involved in a motorcycle accident on the Ayer Rajah Expressway, barely two months after he got his license.)

PS: To anyone else reading this, if God is telling you to believe in Him, please do not hesitate any longer. You never know how long you have.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Roland's Restaurant

I ate
USA duck, chilli crab with fried mantou, steamed catfish, xiao bai cai in chicken broth, honey glazed pork ribs, braised eefu noodles, pomelo sago in mango puree at Roland's Restaurant, Marine Parade

Had a fantastic lunch with the Tangs yesterday and I realised I take Roland's Restaurant for granted. Too many times we grumble about having to eat there again, but what do you know! they do have good food and God bless Roland for being such a blessing to us.

Benfica 2-1 United

NOTE: THis is not a rant from a disgruntled United fan. They deserved to lose; what riles me is the manner which Benfica won.

I am insulted that a team of such wusses and pussies should go through at our expense. Surely a team in Ronald Koeman's image could be man enough to stand up to a physical challenge. Indeed, the Dutch defender with the thunderbolt freekick would cringe when he sees his players play-acting and time-wasting.

Beto, Petit and Quim in particular almost persuaded me to fly to Portugal and stick a boot up their candy ass. It was comical, but not particularly funny, if you know what I mean.

In the first instance, Beto was protesting testily about a United foul, when surprise, surprise! he suddenly realised he forgot to play-act and started writhing on the ground, clutching his ankle. Last we heard, his ankle was nowherenear the action. I wish Rooney had snapped then and showed him what a broken ankle was. Beto was brought off on a motorised stretcher to the touchline, whereupon he got up immediately and started berating the referee for not noticing him and bringing him on. I say the ref was right: for such a serious injury, the pansy should have been just left there like a fool.

In the second instance, Petit went to ground in grass-covered idiocy when he noticed the Greek referee walking away waving play on. Chastised, he quickly got up. Really, if UEFA applies the same video evidence ruling to hard but honest tackles, why not lily-livered cheats like them?

The third instance was more of a constant occurence. Every time a foul was called against Quim the goalkeeper, he would need to roll on the theraprutic turf for a good three minutes to recover. Maybe they should call it the Stadium of Blessed Light because of the sacred sod.

Koeman must be embarrassed but when S$45m is at stake, you see the ugly side of sports.

A word on Ronaldo: farm him out to Kettering or something to teach the brat a lesson and matbe break a metatarsal or two. Give me Park anytime. *finger*

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Week 17 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 17 has just passed.

Aaron (1467 pts) consolidates 1st place with the highest Week 17 score of 123.5 pts, thanks to Ruud van Nistelrooy and Steven Gerrard.

The gap is now 159.5 pts as Chongkiat (1307.5 pts) loses ground in 2nd place with 80 pts, no thanks to Joe Cole, Belezoglu Emre and Josemi.

Benedict (1295 pts) strengthens 3rd place with the 3rd-highest Week 17 score of 115 pts, only 12.5 points behind Chongkiat, thanks to van Nistelrooy and Jose Manuel Reina.

Lianbin (1093.5 pts) rises 1 place to 10th with the 2nd-highest Week 17 score of 118.5 pts, thanks to Gerrard and Edwin van der Sar.

Syafiq (966 pts) rises 1 place to 14th with the 3rd-highest Week 17 score of 115 pts, thanks to van Nistelrooy and Reina.

Jasmine (1140 pts) falls 1 place to 6th, just 24 points ahead of Edgar (1116 pts) with 76 pts, no thanks to Robin van Persie and an absent defence of Niclas Jensen, Philip Bardsley and Oliver Tebily.

At the other end, Teckseng (829.5 pts) was Punk'd for the 2nd week running with the worst-ever Week 16 score of 0 pts. He forgot to buy his goalkeeper (again).

See you next week!

Words of Wisdom V

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
2. Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
5. If we are here to help others, what are others doing here?
6. Why doesn't glue stick to bottles?
7. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
8. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
9. Who put an "s" in "lisp"?
10. Are there special parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
11. If the temperature is zero and it'll be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Ten Things I Hate About You

Five Snacks I Enjoy
- Bravissimo gelato, durian
- Tung-i instant noodles, cooked by Jasmine
- Mos Burger milkshake, coffee
- Half-boiled eggs
- Bacon & cheese bun, Breadtalk

Five Songs I Know By Heart
- Love Song for a Saviour, Jars of Clay
- Listen to Our Hearts, Geoff Moore & the Distance
- What About Now, The Kry
- National Anthem, Singapore
- I Finally Found Someone, Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams

Five Things I Would Do With A Hundred Million Dollars
- Give some to God, build a church
- Invest to ensure a comfortable monthly income
- Ensure my parents can retire in luxury
- Travel!
- Find a cure for eczema

Five Favorite TV Shows
- Any United match
- Everybody Loves Raymond
- King of Queens
- Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- Becker

Five Bad Habits
- I play Xbox too long at one go
- I procrastinate
- I'm too dependent on mobile phone
- I can never keep things tidy
- I like to win and whine.

Five Biggest Joys
- Sleeping
- Playing pool
- Girlfriend time
- Xbox
- Football! Playing and watching

Two Names You Go By
- Chin Wei (only to Jasmine)
- Aaron

Two Parts of Your Heritage
- Baba
- Hakka

Two Things That Scare You
- Horror films
- Sensation of falling

Two Everyday Essentials
- My creams
- Mobile phone

Five Things You Are Wearing Right Now
- Grey POA t-shirt
- brown DDP berumdas
- blue Giordano boxers
- smile
- umm... smile

Two Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
- All Star United
- DC Talk

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
- Jasmine
- Nothing else

Two Truths
- If the grass is greener on the other side, it just means the cows have crapped on it.
- God is good

Two Physical Things That Appeal
- Nice smile
- Athletic

Four Favorite Hobbies
- Football
- Pool
- Xbox
- Reading

Two Things You Want Really Badly
- A good career
- A good wife

Two Places You Want to Go on Vacation
- London!
- Oz

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
- Start a family
- Be healed!

Two Ways You are Stereotypically a Chick/Guy
- I love football
- I love Xbox

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
- I need attention
- I need help

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
- Jasmine
- I'm thirsty

Two Stores You Shop At
- Domanchi
- Topman

Two People You Would Like to See Take This Test
- Jasmine
- You in the back. Yes, stop sleeping in class.

Benfica vs Manchester United

THis is the big one, people. 15 million Sterling riding on this game, where United need to win to ensure their qualification.

The good news is United are finally showing some good passing and finishing, although they will need to be at their best to put their shaky European form behind them and beat Benfica at home.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 17

This is my team for Week 17. Rooting for Spurs and United this week!

Ruud van Nistelrooy
Considered Rooney. Really fancy him against Pompey. Rooney is a little too ex and commonplace.
Top scorer this week!

Hossam Ahmed Mido
Cheap option against Sunderland.
Delivers!

Pater Crouch
Will he finally break his duck?
GGGGGGGGOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!

Steed Malbranque
Considered Paul Scholes. Partner-in-crime Luis Boa Morte is back. Chances should be available against WBA.
Aiyah, why never show faith in United...

Jermaine Jenas
Considered David Thompson. Should have a good chance of a decent week. Good holding stats.
Recouped outlay.

Steven Gerrard
He should dominate games like these against Wigan at home.
Yes! The dominatrix strikes!

Park Ji Sung
Risky one. Did well against West Ham. Hope he's ahead of Fletcher, Ronaldo and Giggs in the queue.
Deserves a better score for his endeavour.

Lee Young Pyo
Always a solid performer, maybe can turn on the style against the Weary-siders.
Expected more.

Gary Neville
United's new skipper will lead by example and get some crosses in for RVN.
What happened?

Michael Dawson
Considered Phil Neville and Jamie Clapham. Must get clean sheet.
Expected more.

Jose Manuel Reina
Let's see if Liverpool can deliver at both ends.
Delivered again.

Projected points: 80.9
Actual points: 123.5

My Best Friend's Wedding

No, No, I'm not gonna steal her husband away! One of my closest friends, Amy, just got hitched today. Was it only six years ago that I met her for the first time in the combined youth camp as a fresh-faced 16-year-old? How time flies.
She's been there for me in difficult periods, and suddenly she's married! Steven is a really nice and God-fearing man, and he couldn't have found a better wife.
I'm really so happy for her. Thanks for everything, Ah Jie. =]

Friday, December 02, 2005

Week 16 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 16 has just passed.

Aaron (1343.5 pts) hangs on to 1st place with 99.5 pts, thanks to Liverpool duo Jose Manuel Reina and Steven Gerrard.

The gap is now 116 pts as Chongkiat (1227.5 pts) consolidates 2nd place with the 3rd-highest Week 16 score of 127 pts, thanks to Reina, Gerrard and Wayne Rooney.

Benedict (1180 pts) clings on to 3rd place with 92 pts, 1.5 points ahead of Gareth.

Lianbin (975 pts) rises 2 places to 11th with the highest Week 16 score of 142 pts, thanks to Gerrard, Rooney and Brian McBride.

Jasmine (1061 pts) rises 2 places to 5th, just 6 points ahead of Clarence (1055 pts) with the 2nd-highest Week 16 score of 129.5 pts, thanks to Reina, Rooney and Robin van Persie.

At the other end, Teckseng (829.5 pts) was well and truly Punk'd with the worst-ever Week 16 score of 0 pts. He forgot to buy his goalkeeper.

See you next week!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 16

This is my team for Week 16. Liverpool and Sunderland are supposed to have two matches this week!

Didier Drogba
Really fancy him against Pompey.
No show.

Fernando Morientes
Two games to score. Will be confident after breaking his Premiership duck.
Unbelievable. 0 points despite playing twice.

Anthony Le Tallec
I doubt he'll play against Liverpool, but I'm just buying him for the Sunderland game. Bargain basement.
Sufficient points.

Henri Camara
Will continue good form against Spurs.
Below-par performance.

Dean Whitehead
Should have a good chance of a high-scoring week.
Decent haul for small outlay.

Steven Gerrard
Expect him to take games against Man City and Sunderland by the scruff of the neck.
Saved my skin.

Belezoglu Emre
Third week running against a hapless Everton.
No imagination.

Niclas Jensen
Always a solid performer, maybe Fulham can get it right at home to Bolton.
No show. No idea why.

Gary Neville
Gut feel. This is based on the premise that he will play, and that United keep out the Hammers. Both are highly plausible.
Unlucky not to get assist for Rooney.

Justin Hoyte
It was between him and Gary Breen. Bargain basement.
Decent haul.

Jose Manuel Reina
Same story.
Dream performance.

Projected points: 87.8
Actual points: 99.5

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Alicia Keys Unplugged

I bought
Alicia Keys Unplugged CD from Sembawang Music in Bugis for SGD17.90

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Words of Wisdom IV

1. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
2. Avoid all arguments about lifting the toilet simply by using the sink.
3. If you have a bad cough, take many laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Polo shirt and boxers

I bought
Green cotton Fahrenheit polo shirt from Factory Outlet Store in Melaka for RM49.90
Two white cotton Nobleman boxers from Factory Outlet Store in Melaka for RM29.90

Halftime: Changing your game plan from success to significance

I read
Buford, B. (1994). Halftime: Changing your game plan from success to significance. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Wah have to do book review...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Road Trip

I'm off to Melaka to visit my mother's family. Ironically, while I'll be surviving for three days without internet, I have all the sports cable I can watch there. If you need to contact me urgently, call or SMS my dad's mobile at 94501613. See you on Sunday!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Week 15 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 15 has just passed.

Aaron (1244 pts) consolidates 1st place with the joint-3rd highest Week 15 score of 90.5 pts, thanks to Liverpool duo Fernando Morientes and Jose Manuel Reina.

The gap is now 143.5 pts as Chongkiat (1100.5 pts) slips in 2nd place with 76 pts, no thanks to the limited playing time of Jermaine Defoe, Luis Garcia and Steven Taylor.

Benedict (1088 pts) consolidates 3rd place with the 2nd highest Week 15 score of 94 pts, 12.5 points behind Chongkiat.

Amos (901.5 pts) consolidates 10th place with the joint-3rd highest Week 15 score of 90.5 pts.

Jasmine (829 pts) rises three places to 7th, just 4.5 points ahead of Benedict (927 pts) with the highest Week 15 score of 102.5 pts, thanks to Reina, Dean Whitehead and Djibril Cisse. SHe's been top scorer for the3 last two weeks now.

At the other end, there's nothing too fantastic about Benedict (721.5 pts) with the worst Week 15 score of 26 pts.

See you next week!

Charlie Torzen in Aeon Flux

Jasmine says: "I have tickets to the movie you want to watch the Charlie Torzen one."
Yes, that would be Aeon Flux.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Generous people shouldn't ask questions

If you give money to the poor, they call you a saint; if you ask why the poor have no money, they call you a communist.

Fantasy Football Week 15

Darius Vassell
Couldn't penetrate a compact Blackburn side.

Fernando Morientes
You win some you lose some. Morientes goalscoring display was the beneficiary of luis Garcia's early injury.

Ahmed Mido
Scored early and was a thorn in the Hammers' side throughout.

Henri Camara
The Gunners are never great defensively, and Cygan and Campbell were always going to be exposed for pace by the quicksilver Camara. This was a gut feel.

Luis Garcia
Was in good form for Spain midweek, but got injured early.

Steven Gerrard
Low-profile game from the skipper.

Belezoglu Emre
If I had known Owen was out, I would've left Emre out as well.

Sun Jihai
Played in midfield and got the clean sheet.

Lee Young Pyo
Was 1 minute away from a clean sheet and 4 points when Ferdinand struck.

Wes Brown
Unlucky to get booked.

Jose Manuel Reina
Could be in my team for a while. Problem is, so will many other teams.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Words of Wisdom III

1. The severity of the itch is proportional to the inability to reach it.
2. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
3. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad momory.
4. A fool and his money are soon partying.
5. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
6. Success always occurs in private, failure in full view.

I like No. 2. In which case Manchester United have all the time in the world to reel in Chelsea. Those cancerous rats. Abramovich and his money are partying for now, but you'll see.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Men at Work

Who can it be now?

It's me back at work and with a 25% raise! Earning $60/day now; $100 if I work full OT. But I can't with Food Fiesta coming up, even if I want to.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Literati, Minesweeper etc.

This is an open challenge to All:

Challenge me to Literati and Miesweeper when you see me on MSN!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Jobless!

I'm now officially jobless, one of 3.3% of Singaporeans. Despite my best efforts, the company was never going to keep me beyond three weeks since the event is next week. Telemarketing needs some lead time; one week is just about right. I left on excellent terms and told them to give me a call if they need me. I earned $588 over three weeks and 12 working days including two skipped lunches, which is about $196 weekly and $49 daily.

I really think NSFs are undercompensated.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Week 13 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 13 has just passed.

Aaron (1153.5 pts) clings on to 1st place with 92.5 pts, no thanks to Claus Jensen and Robert Pires.

The gap is now 129 pts as Chongkiat (1024.5 pts) consolidates 2nd place with the 2nd highest Week 13 score of 94.5 pts, thanks to Belezoglu Emre and Pascal Chimbonda.

Benedict (994 pts) consolidates 3rd place with 68 pts, 8.5 points ahead of Gareth.

Lianbin (772 pts) consolidates 14th place with the 2nd highest Week 13 score of 98.5 pts.

Jasmine (829 pts) rises three places to 10th, just 10.5 points ahead of Edgar (818.5 pts) with the highest Week 13 score of 116 pts, thanks also to Emre and Chimbonda.

At the other end, Keh (615 pts) clearly needs some Tongkat Ali with the worst Week 13 score of 26 pts.

See you next week!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Being a Good Neighbour Requires? by Pastor Koo

1. COMPASSION

2. CONTACT
a. Don't LIVE like the world
b. Don't LEAVE the world
c. LEAD the world to CHrist

3. COST
a. Inconvenience
b. Time

Fantasy Football Week 13

This is my team for Week 13.

Darius Vassell
Too expensive to drop.
Just didn't click.

Dennis Bergkamp
Replaces Michael Essien. Hoping he'll start ahead of Robin van Persie.
Why, oh why, didn't I take Robin van Persie?

Darren Bent
Picking him up when everyone's dropped him.
No wonder everyone fropped him.

Morten Gamst Pedersen
Replaces Laurent Robert. Fingers crossed against a very good away side in Charlton.
When Blackburn score four, you expect to get at least a goal with one assist, didn't happen. Not bad though. Better than expected. Two SCs showed he tried.

Claus Jensen
Replaces Dean Whitehead. Cheap and proven.
Hmmm, late injury news?

Robert Pires
Replaces Danny Murphy. Let the Pires-Henry show take to the road!
Probably the only Arsenal midfielder who didn't perform.

Belezoglu Emre
Replaces Joey Barton. Can't afford Owen, so Emre is the mext best thing. Could've been N'Zogbia too.
Scores the fortuitous winner, but his all-round game was pleasing too.

Peter Ramage
Replaces Radostin Kishishev. Gut feel.
And the gut is right for once! Ramage causes the Damage! Maybe he can keep Carr out!

Gael Clichy
Replaces Leighton Baines. Arsenal's home banker.
Stubbs' goal made the difference.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Replaces Asier del Horno. Cheated of a goal recently. May he come good.
Had a quiet game.

Jose Manuel Reina
Cheapest of the lot. Can't afford anyone else.
Well done.

Projected points: 89.3
Actual points: 92.5

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 12

This is my team for Week 12.

Darius Vassell
Replaces Hernan Crespo. Renews partnership with Cole against Villa at home. 'Nuff said.
Saved my bacon.

Darren Bent
Scored midweek against Chelsea. Against Bolton at home.Where was he?

Laurent Robert
Set-piece specialist against Sunderland.
WHERE WAS HE?!?!

Dean Whitehead
Replaces Nolberto Solano. Cheap and proven.
Got lucky.

Michael Essien
Cheap.
Decnt enough.

Danny Murphy
Home against Bolton. The assist kin.
WTF?

Joey Barton
Hoping for Man City this week.
Sigh.

Radostin Kishishev
Replaces Nigel Reo-Coker. Plays in Charlton midfield.
Not much expected from him.

Leighton Baines
Replaces Chris Powell and Stephane Henchoz. Wigan's defensive record will stand.
Decent.

Asier del Horno
The revelation of the season continues!
Decent.

Jose Manuel Reina
Cheapest of the lot.
Finally makes good.

Projected points: 98.6
Actual points: 79.0

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Week 12 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 12 has just passed.

Aaron (1061 pts) clings on to 1st place with 79 pts, no thanks to no-shows Laurent Robert and Darren Bent.

The gap is now 131 pts as Chongkiat (930 pts) holds on to 2nd place with 81.5 pts.

Benedict (926 pts) clings on to 3rd place with 90.5 pts, 4 points behind Chongkiat.

Gareth (925 pts) consolidates 4th place with the 2nd highest Week 12 score of 100 pts, thanks to Charles N'Zogbia.

Jeremy (780.5 pts) rises 2 places with the 3rd highest Week 12 score of 93.5 pts.

Kenneth (663) rises 2 places with highest Week 12 score of 103 pts.

Jasmine (713 pts) drops one place to 13th, just behind Benjamin (720 pts) with a score of 40 pts, no thanks to van der Sar and van Nistelrooy.

At the other end, Lianbin (673.5 pts) is scolding NB with a worst score of 31.5 pts.

See you next week!

L8!

Better late than never?
Better never late.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Leaders' Retreat

Q1. How do the ministries fulfil the vision and mission? Are any of them redundant? Do they do enough?
A1: Mobilise people to do God's work. Fulfil members' potential through ministry.
We must be motivated not because people ask us to do things, but because we're doing it for God. Responsibility out of obligation to the body won't work, but initiative and volunteerism will. If we consider our ministry more important than anything else, our attitude will change.

Q2. What is Agape's strength and X-factor? How do we use this?
A happy and friendly church. Our hospitality is our X-factor. By using JOEL to reach out to neighbours.

Q3. What is your dream for the church and your ministry?
Agape: To grow in spirit, numbers and talent.
Men's ALG: To be relevant to men and to be a source of godly counsel specific to their needs. To have a team willing to love and serve one another. To bring people into Agape through relationships. TO have a system of mentorship to be accountable to one another and raise each other up.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Baka-neh!

Bakku-shan:

A girl who appears pretty from the back but looks like face kena langgar from the front.

The!

What to Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?

They have the same middle name.

Socks!

I bought
Grey quarter socks and white ankle socks for $2.40 each from IP Zone at Plaza Singapura

Friday, October 28, 2005

Linguistic training

Ever notice how Outram Park station is pronounced differently on the NEL and the East-West Line?
The NEL, run by SBS Tranist, goes "oh-tram", while the East-West Line, run by SMRT, goes "oo-tram".
I say their trains should go head-to-head to phonetically out-ram the other.

Also, both companies MUST randomise the multilingual platform announcements. Failing which, in an emergency, our Tamil-speaking foreign talents will be the last to run and first to die.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Fourth Day at Work

Things are progressing well.

I now have a webmail account, so I'm getting more involved in office affairs. I also don't have to get on the phone as much, so that's good for my ear. Doing my best for this company.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The mark: The Beast rules the world

I read
LaHaye, T., & Jenkins, J. (2000). The mark: The Beast rules the world. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Week 11 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 11 has just passed.

Aaron (982 pts) clings on to 1st place with his lowest weekly score of 52.5 pts, no thanks to Hernan Crespo, Nolberto Solano, and Jose Manuel Reina.

The gap is now 133.5 pts as Chongkiat (848.5 pts) holds on to 2nd place with 63 pts.

Benedict (845.5 pts) consolidates 3rd place, 20.5 pts ahead of Gareth (825 pts). He is now just 3 points behind Chongkiat.

Amos (687.5 pts) rises two places to 9th with the 2nd highest Week 11 score of 85.5 pts, thanks to Dennis Rommedahl.

Syafiq (588 pts) consolidates 16th place with the 3rd highest Week 11 score of 81.5 pts.

Jasmine (673 pts) rises one place to 12th, just behind Benjamin (679 pts) with the highest Week 11 score of 89.5 pts, thanks to Emre and Lauren.

At the other end, aelu85 (418 pts) is clearly nonsense with a worst score of 26 pts.

See you next week!

Fantasy Football Week 11

This is my team for Week 11. Owen and Reyes are injured!

Hernan Crespo
Replaces Andrew Cole and El Hadji Diouf. Poised to start with Drogba out. Against Everton? Pao jia.
Crap.

Darren Bent
Last chance saloon.
Crap.

Laurent Robert
Replaces Jermaine Pennant. Pennant away against Blackburn, so Robert comes in against Charlton.
Crap.

Nolberto Solano
Replaces Jiri Jarosik and Matthew Etherington. No one else will have him. Hope he starts and provides ammo for Shearer.
Crap.

Michael Essien
After a performance like that against Betis, let's hope this ignites him against Everton.
Crap.

Morten Gamst Pedersen
Replaces Jose Antonio Reyes. Will perform against Brum at home.
Crap.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Replaces Lee Young Pyo and Tal Ben Haim. Change of heart over him. Better pay off. You've screwed me over for the last time.
Undeserved crap.

Chirs Powell
Replaces Pascal Chimbonda, Stephen Carr and Liam Ridgewell. With Bouma injured, Villa's defence are barebones, so the England one-cap wonder is back.
Absent crap.

Asier del Horno
Replaces Danny Gabbidon. The revelation of the season is back!
Decent crap.

Jose Manuel Reina
Cheapest of the lot.
Biggest crap.

Projected points: 97.1
Actual points: 52.5

Monday, October 24, 2005

First Day at Work

Man what a slllllllooooooooowwwwwwww day. Slower than Angela with velcroed soles. Spent 9 hours excluding lunch calling and calling and calling people I don't know. Getting my call transferred here and there and finally getting a negative reply.

Not to mention trying to market something costing $1,309. I mean, who'd buy that over the PHONE? I guess my job is basically to reinforce brand awareness.

Colleagues are flustered but nice: they just leave me alone cos they're so busy. This reinforces the fact that marcomm (or mass comm for that matter) isn't for me.

In the meantime I'll just collect $54 a day. If I do this for the stipulated three weeks, I get a cool $810 minus agency fees. If I can stay awake.

Five Biggest Problems of the 21st Century according to Rick Warren

1. Spiritual emptiness
2. Ego-centric leadership
3. Poverty
4. Disease
5. Illiteracy

Alemay Fernandez gig

Jasmine and I went to this coming home gig of a homegrown jazz singer, herself a Mass Comm grad. She showed her versatility with R&B, jazz standards, Top 40s, and even TV themes from the 80s. Fantastic value, and the band was outstanding. The bassist (Joshua Wan) even played an entire song by himself. The keyboardist plays for a-Mei. The drummer switches limbs and time signatures like nobody's business. Boy those hands are fast. The guitarist explores the complete versatility of the Strat.

All in all, a great, cosy journey into what music makes Alemay Fernandez tick.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Shopping Spree!

Had such a great time shopping for a watch, wallet (for me) and ring (for her).

Here are our conquests:
Caught in a Circle Swatch Irony (blue face) for SGD169 at Takashimaya
Black Teuer 351W Braun Buffel wallet for SGD123 at Takashimaya
OK the ring's a secret...
White New Critic short-sleeved shirt for SGD22.20 from ProjectShopBloodBros at Wisma Atria
Dark grey New Marshall pants for SGD28.20 from ProjectShopBloodBros at Wisma Atria

Phwoar!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Green cotton Hollister short-sleeved polo shirt

I bought
Green cotton Hollister short-sleeved polo shirt for SGD19.90 at Amara Shopping Centre

It's nice lime-green terry-cloth polo. Good for chilly days.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

One Hundred Years

Abraham Lincoln was elected to the House of Representatives in 1846; John Kennedy, 1946. Lincoln failed to win the vice presidential nomination in 1856, Kennedy in 1956. The republican conventions of 1860 and 1960 were held in Chicago. Mr. Lincoln was elected to the presidency in 1860, John Kennedy in 1960. Lincoln defeated Stephen Douglas, born in 1813; Kennedy defeated Richard Nixon born in 1913. John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of President Lincoln, was born in 1839, Lee Harvey Oswald, the accused assassin of President Kennedy in 1939.

Both presidents had vice presidents named Johnson. Andrew Johnson served in the House of Representatives in 1847, Lyndon Johnson, 1947. In 1860 and 1960 both VP's were serving as Senators. Andrew Johnson was older than Lincoln and was born in 1808, Lyndon Johnson, born in 1908, was older than Kennedy. Even though Lincoln was a republican, both vice presidents were democrats. Andrew Johnson was defeated for re-election, Lyndon Johnson elected not to run for a second complete term. Andrew Johnson died of a stroke; Lyndon Johnson a heart attack.


OTHER SIMILARITIES

* Both presidents won their respective elections with less than fifty-percent of the popular vote.
* Each was concerned with the issue of civil rights.
* Both presidents while in their thirties, married women in their early twenties.
* Both wives suffered the death of a child while in the White House.
* Lincoln and Kennedy repeatedly spoke of, and had dreams regarding, assassination attempts.
* Each was subsequently warned by advisors not to attend the events that led to their death.
* Lincoln and Kennedy were shot from behind, in the head.
* They were killed on a Friday, and in the presence of their wives.
* The assassins, Booth and Oswald, were southerners who favored unpopular ideas.
* Booth shot Lincoln in a theater and was captured in a barn, a warehouse. Oswald allegedly shot Kennedy from a warehouse, the depository, and was arrested at a theater.
* Lincoln was killed in Ford's Theater, Kennedy was killed in a Ford automobile; a Lincoln.
* Both Booth and Oswald were killed before going to trail. The popular belief is that the two presidential tragedies were conspiracies with subsequent governmental cover up.
* The names Lincoln and Kennedy contain seven letters.
* The names Stephen and Richard, their political opponents have seven letters each.
* The name Johnson contains seven letters.
* The fathers of the presidents, Thomas and Joseph respectively, each have six letters.
* The names Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson each contain 13 letters, as do the names of their wives, Eliza McCardle and Claudia Taylor.
* The names John Wilkes booth and Lee Harvey Oswald both total 15 letters.

Blue cotton Banana Republic short-sleeved shirt

I bought
Blue cotton Banana Republic short-sleeved shirt for SGD29 at Amara Shopping Centre

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Week 10 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 10 has just passed.

Aaron (929.5 pts) consolidates 1st place with the 2nd-highest Week 10 score of 106.5 pts, thanks to Andrew Cole and Jose Manuel Reina.

The gap is now 144 pts as Chongkiat (785.5 pts) holds on to 2nd place with 79.5 pts.

Benedict (779 pts) clinches 3rd place, 8.5 pts ahead of Gareth (770.5 pts). Benedict rises a place with the highest Week 10 score of 121 points, thanks to Frank Lampard and Ruud van Nistelrooy.

Theophane (690.5 pts) rises one place to 6th with the 3rd highest Week 10 score of 101.5 pts.

Jasmine (583.5 pts) rises one place to 13th, just above Teckseng (581.5 pts).

At the other end, Gary (229.5 pts) is clearly dreaming in Fantasia with a worst score of 14 pts. He's the worst scorer for the second week running.

See you next week!

Fantasy Football Week 10

This is my team for Week 9. Most of Utd's defence is injured!

Jermaine Defoe
Replaces Yakubu, Owen. A gamble, as Keane, Mido and Rasiak are all fit. Hope he scores against Everton. Spurs have sometimes flattered to deceive when favoured to win.
Gamble kinda pays off, but should've bought Mido or Yakubu

Andrew Cole
Replaces Heskey. I was really torn in two here. But I felt I had too many eggs in one Brum-sket. So Cole it is. West Ham's defence isn't the best. Vassell and Cole could terrorise Carroll's injured thumb.
Two goals from Andy Cole, he scores goals!

Darren Bent
Home game against Fulham. Too good to drop.
Bad display. Never caught fire.

Jermaine Pennant
I'm having an unhealthy number of Brum players, considering how I picked against them last week. I dropped Heskey, but Pennant should represent a healthy supply line.
Decent supply line.

Jiri Jarosik
Replaces Claus Jensen. Cheap and good! That's all I'd rather say.
Didn't even start.

Michael Essien
Keeping him against Bolton. Please try a shot or two.
Bleah.

Jose Antonio Reyes
Damn gui. But will keep him in the King's absence.
An assist makes him worthwhile.

Lee Young-Pyo
Hope he's fit.
A decent 6 points.

Pascal Chimbonda
Replces Carragher, Sun and del Horno. Curiosity got the better of me. I got the one with the weird name. Wigan have been resilient this season.
Well done. Solid performance at Wigan right-back position.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Replaces Bardsley and Steven Taylor. He's back! Let's see whether he proves me right!
Decent total. Really should be getting more from a midfielder.

Jose Manuel Reina
Replaces Lehmann. Liverpool home banker. Bellamy's out.
As predicted.

WORK!

I start work on Monday at Singapore Conference Hall at Shenton Way as temp telemarketer. For three weeks only. Let's see how it goes! Measly $6/hour.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Constant change

Do you realise how Singapore is in a constant state of improvement and change? We'll never see in Singapore in a "complete" or restive state simply because there is always renovation and construction work going on. No urban landscape is spared; everywhere from Tuas' industrial development to Changi Airport's Terminal 3 is just getting bigger, better and brighter. The Singapore will never rest on the Sabbath and say: It is finished.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Wash out!

Was really really really really looking forward to playing soccer yesterday. But it POURED. SIIIIIIAAAAAAAANNNNNNN......

Friday, October 14, 2005

TGIF!

Well I've basically spent the whole week slacking, but have achieved a few things:

1. Bought storage
2. Went for interview at job agency
3. Met up with Hafiz

And now I'm off to Arthur's house for some gaming, then off to Tanjong Pagar to collect movie tickets, then to church. Hope to start work next week. Lobang anyone?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Ikea spree!

I bought $70 worth of storage space at Ikea. Boxes, shoe rack, drawers. Totally worth it. =]

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The 13-Year-Old Christian

22-year-old Aaron Wong (Aaron Wong) has done quite a few things in his life. He's looking for a cushy job doing admin at a Raffles Place office, a nice apartment with a proud collection of books and CDs, good friends, a nice attitude. But there's just one little thing he hasn't quite gotten around to doing yet--something most people have done by his age. Done a lot. Andy's never, ever, ever evangelised--not even by accident. So is that such a big deal?

Well, for Aaron's buds in church, it sure is. Although they think he's a bit of a guai kia, there's certainly a planetful of stranger (and homelier) guys who've at least had one go at having a go. They consider it their duty to help Aaron out of his dire situation and go to great lengths to help him. But nothing proves effective enough to lure their friend out of lifelong chastity until he meets Benjamin Chew (Benjamin Chew), a 20-year-old soldier of two years. Aaron's friends are psyched by the possibility that "it" may finally happen...until they hear that Aaron and Ben have begun their relationship based on a mutual no-evangelism policy.

PS: You already know the ending, guys. Thank God that Ben has recommitted his life to God. BTW this was adapted from the official synopsis of the 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

ORD loh!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I'll be officially an NSMan on 10 Oct 05. Or will I? I'm PES E9L9, so I guess that doesn't apply. I can look forward to a long an fulfilling career without fear of disruption of NS. I pray this will be the catalyst for my recuperation from my eczema.

I'll be starting work in an admin temp job soon, till the end of the year, and in Jan 06 I'll begin teaching as an untrained teacher. This is where MOE and I will suss each other out to test our compatability. Till then, pray for God's guidance for me.

To all my fellow servicemen from the Ace Brigade, I wish you all the best and many more fulfilling moments in your NS. S3 Branch: You want pizza? Jio me out!

Keep rocking guys, Ex Razor Blade (whatever) coming up!

As for me, I'm really gonna enjoy my Monday.

Ace Sets the Pace! Hooyah!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Naive

Why does mineral water that has trickled for centuries in the mountains expire in a few months?

Sentosa

So
Expensive
Nothing
T
O
See
Actually

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

About ME

Here are some facts about me.

Disclaimer: Now see the answers would be really boring if they all involved Jasmine, so I'm gonna exclude her from everything. For some questions the answer is her but I'll find an alternative answer.

What's in my wallet:
No notes, a few coins, miscellaneous cards, guitar picks, heart-shaped straws, yellow ribbon, receipts, 11B etc.

Favourite shoes:
Wow so many. Green Reef ones, Yellow-black Nikes, Red Adidas Stan Smiths.

Clothes i cant live without:
Nah I can do without all of them. Nothing really stands out. Except those with maybe sentimental value.

Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months:
ORD, anniversary, teaching.

Something that you are extremely afraid of:
Losing: Things, people.

Believe in forgiveness:
Of course! Do unto others as you'd want others to do unto you. Easier said than done though.

Favorite foods:
Anything goes. No seafood, bittergourd, brinjal. Pastamania, gelato, soft-boiled eggs, coffee, chicken rice etc.

My father thinks:
I don't get enough rest.

My mother thinks:
I'm too messy.

Everybody thinks:
My eczema sucks.

What makes me happy:
Playing football, United winning, Jasmine, jamming, winning at pool.

Upsets me:
My skin on bad days, nagging.

What you cook:
I cook up good stories.

You have a secret you have not shared:
Yes.

Song you're listening to now:
*snort*

Person you've last called:
Jasmine

Person that last called you:
Jasmine

Person u last sms:
Julian. Asked him how Goal! was.

TV show you last watched:
EPL Highlights

Thinking about:
Taking MC tmr

You drink:
Water

You like roller coasters:
Ex leh.

Ever been in love:
Yes

Ever been kissed:
Yes.

Ever been arrested:
No.

Makes you laugh the most:
Weepoh. His Sally jokes are tok kong.

Last time you did something interesting:
Toured Paragon.

Last time you were totally happy:
Playing soccer.

What's your favourite colour:
Colour blind lah.

What're you planning to do tomorrow: Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

I was at the premiere of this hilarious movie.

Despite the predictable appearance of condom jokes, drunken antics, chest hair waxing and other puerile ingredients, this is a moive with a heart, and actually has a story to tell.

Starring Ben Stiller look-alike Steve Carrell, this film goes beyond the typical tit parade and actually explores the circumstances that created this lovable 40-year-old virgin.

All in all, this is a roller-coaster ride through the birds and the bees, and you'll find yourself rooting for the adorable anti-hero.

I highly recommend this movie, especially for the guys. Some of the scenes are just priceless.

For the ladies, if you want to know what makes guys so shallow and sex-obsessed, this movie will fill you in.

The highlight of the movie has to be Elizabeth Banks, who plays nymphomaniac Beth. The tub scene is jaw-dropping. That's really all I can say, you have to watch it yourself.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Week 8 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 8 has just passed.

Aaron (823 pts) retains 1st place with 98 pts, thanks to Darren Bent and Jose Antonio Reyes.

The gap is now 117 pts as Chongkiat (706 pts) consolidates 2nd place with 78.5 pts.

Debutant Gareth (675.5 pts) clinches 3rd place, 23 pts ahead of Benedict (658 pts).

Jeremy (543.5 pts) returns the highest Week 8 score of 146 pts to rise six places to 9th.

Hingyau (647 pts) consolidates 5th place with the 2nd highest Week 8 score of 109 pts. Syafiq recovers from being Week 7 wooden-spoonist to consolidate 17th place with the 2nd highest Week 8 score of 109 pts.

Jasmine (517.5 pts) drops four place to 14th, just behind Amos (521.5 pts).

At the other end, Gary is clearly dreaming in Fantasia with a worst score of 32.5 pts, especially since many others scored well.

See you next week!

Fantasy Football Week 8

This is my team for Week 8. Del Horno's injured!

Michael Owen
A tad expensive, but he has a good chance against Pompey. No other striker really stands out for that price.
No other striker really sits out for that price. Last-minute dead leg.

Robin van Persie
Brum have only 13 fit players, with Butt and Melchiot missing, Arsenal should win comfortably. Replaces Harewood.
Close one there. Came on and scored. Remains to be seen will change it to an OG.

Darren Bent
Keeping faith with him. Has a home match.
Had doubts but he poached two.

Frederik Ljungberg
Arsenal's my hope this week.
Decent total, but thought he'd be mroe involved than 10 pts.

Dean Whitehead
Cheap and good! Home game against the Hammers.
Phooey. Should've bought Tommy Miller instead.

Michael Essien
His defensive stats are astounding! Getting him for this in an expected 0-0 draw. Replaces Arca.
Spot on with his defensive prowess. 8.5 pts from that alone. Who knows if he'd tried a shot or two?

Jose Antonio Reyes
Hope he repays me for my faith in him.
6 SOTs and no goals? Only and Arsenal striker could do that. He'd be top scorer by a mile had he done that, but I'll settle for him being MY top scorer.

Lee Young-Pyo
Why am I keeping him? Don't expect the clean sheet, but the attacking stats might make up for it.
Where was he?

Chris Powell
Replaces Carragher. Cheaper mah.
Poor performance from all my defenders this week.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Still doing OK.
Poor performance from all my defenders this week.

Jens Lehmann
Chance of clean sheet with Campbell back. Also Brum are a long ball team.
14 pts through little effort. Teams really need to test him.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Corpse Bride

Just watched it, an enjoyable 80-minute romp thorugh Tim Burton's macabre imagination. There were many laugh-out-loud moments, including a couple of nods to the director's infuences.

Go watch it! Edgr, Jiahui, Jasmine and me really enjoyed it, despite being reeeally sleeeepy.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Week 7 review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 7 has just passed.

Aaron (725 pts) retains 1st place with 71 pts.

The gap is now 97.5 pts as Chongkiat (627.5 pts) retains 2nd place, with Benedict and Hingyau gaining ground.

Benedict (561 pts) clings on to 3rd place, 23 pts ahead of Hingyau (538 pts).

Theophane (509.5 pts) returns the highest Week 7 score of 126.5 pts to rise two places above Edgar (497 pts) and Amos (462 pts).

Benjamin (354.5 pts) rises four places to 9th with the 2nd highest Week 7 score of 102 pts.

Jasmine (376.5 pts) drops one place to 10th, just behind Ben. She's still the highest Week 2 starter.

At the other end, Syafiq proves his team is easily edible with a dismal 32.5-pt tally, the worst this week.

See you next week!

Fantasy Football Week 7

This is my team for Week 7. Del Horno's injured!

Mark Viduka
Sunderland home banker. JFH injured, so he'll definitely play. Has a strong partner in the Yak.
Of all the luck.

Dario Silva
Lively performer. Hope he's Robert-esque.
Yuck.

Darren Bent
WBA's defence isn't the best.
Yuck.

Laurent Robert
Dario Silva might be his lucky charm.
Yuck.

Michael Essien
A Chelsea indulgence. Breaking my vow. But he's still new and replaces del Horno.
The Chelsea man salvages some pride for this week.

Alexei Smertin
The Russian doesn't count as Chelski right? It was him or Rommedahl or Rochemback.
Should have taken Rommedahl.

Jose Antonio Reyes
He should be in the team till Henry returns.
Yuck.

Lee Young-Pyo
Lively left-back should trouble porous Fulham. Clean-sheet chance.
Ended up being my highest scorer.

Jamie Carragher
Solid defensive stats against a Heskey-less Birmingham. Fancy a clean sheet. Said the same for Vignal last week.
Ok lah.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Still doing OK.
Decent total. Can continue.

Jens Lehmann
Arsenal face week opposition over the next few weeks. Hope to keep Lehmann and Reyes intact.
A bit unlucky as he didn't have a save to make.

Monday, September 26, 2005

He who hits last, cries loudest

If your sister hits you, don't hit back; they always catch the second person.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Week 6 review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 6 has just passed.

Aaron (654 pts) retains 1st place with highest Week 6 score of 115 pts.

The gap is now 102 pts as Chongkiat (552 pts) consolidates 2nd place, with Benedict and Hingyau losing ground..

Benedict (463.5 pts) clings on to 3rd place, just 2 pts ahead of Hingyau (461.5 pts).

Clarence (426 pts) returns the 2nd highest Week 6 score of 97.5 pts to rise three places above Edgar (422.5 pts), Amos (403 pts) and Benedict (390 pts) again. Benjamin (354.5 pts) rises one place to 13th with the 3rd highest Week 6 score.

Jasmine (376.5 pts) moves up another place to 10th, thanks to her fourth-highest weekly score, overwhelming Teckseng (374.5 pts). Theophane (383 pts) is next in her sights. She's still the highest Week 2 starter.

At the other end, Jeremy proves his team is brave just in name with a dismal 44.5-pt tally, the worst this week.

See you next week!

Alternative definitions

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in the way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Tears: The hydraulic force by which male will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can sort a lot sort a lot of things straight.
Etc.: A sign to make people believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give their mistakes.
Atomic bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Criminal: Someone stupid enough to get caught.
Optimist: Someone falling from the Eiffel Tower shouting "See? I'm not hurt yet!"
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his ills.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture: The process of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing indivuidually sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Taken from The New Paper

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 6

This is my team for Week 6. Henry's injured!

Didier Drogba
Keeping him because it's too costly to sell him. But he's doing ok.
Stupid Crespo. Finally can sell Drogba.

Dario Silva
Illogical choice, but I got a gut feel.
Not too bad. Lively perfomance brings 0 points.

Milan Baros
Played well despite Villa losing 4-0. Double digits will be a good score.
Notches 14 despite a booking. Might have to sell next week: facing Chelsea.

Laurent Robert
Faces weaker opposition in Birmingham. Might score well.
Sterling display. Examplary wing play.

Claus Jensen
Might do well against the Hammers.
Fulham's big danger delivers.

David Whitehead
Has more than a chance against WBA at home.
Scores well. Hunch pays off.

Jose Antonio Reyes
No Henry. Bergkamp will feed him and he will score.
Two assists means a good investment.

Asier Del Horno
Can't afford to drop him though he's injured.
Did not play.

Gregory Vignal
Solid defensive stats against a Heskey-less Birmingham. Fancy a clean sheet.
So-so performance. Disappointing.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Still doing OK.
Decent total. Can continue.

Jens Lehmann
Made a loss on van der Sar, trying Lehmann against an Everton that just can't score.
19 points, thanks to six for just plucking Everton's orbital balls lumped toward Big Dunc

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Neil Gaiman's Other People

"Other People" is a short-short story about a man's descent into Hell. The man arrives with his expensive clothes and arrogant attitude in a long grey room. Along the walls are 211 implements of torture; a demon stands at the far end. The man, who we can only assume was a high-powered businessman in life, who probably broke a few rules and lived more than a little dishonestly to deserve his fate, approaches the demon. The demon, who is deeply scarred, flayed, and missing its ears and its genitalia, takes down from the wall a cat-o'-nine-tails made of frayed wire and beats the businessman with it. The demon explains that time is fluid in this place, implying that the businessman will not be leaving anytime soon.

"In time," the demon tells him, "you will remember even this moment with fondness." [2]

The demon eventually uses all two hundred and eleven torture devices on the businessman, each one worse than the last, until the businessman is a shivering, gibbering wreck. The scars that have been left on his body are deep and painful and indelible. He hurts more than he has ever been hurt before.

But now, the torture really begins.
bookcover

The demon lays naked every lie the businessman ever told, everything he ever regretted, every hurt he ever inflicted on another. He draws each piece out of the businessman, displaying them for the man to see. This part is very similar to a section near the end of American Gods, where Shadow is met by the dark Egyptian god Anubis:

All of the things that Shadow had done in his life of which he was not proud, all the things he wished he had done otherwise or left undone, came at him then in a swirling storm of guilt and regret and shame, and he had nowhere to hide from them. He was as naked and as open as a corpse on a table, and dark Anubis the jackal god was his prosecutor and his persecutor. [3]

What Anubis does to Shadow, the demon does to the businessman, stripping him raw with his own life. It goes on for a hundred years, or perhaps a thousand—for time is fluid here—and when it is over, the businessman realizes the demon was right. The physical torture was far kinder.

Then it begins again, but with the businessman's sense of self-knowledge that wasn't there before, which makes it all the worse. When it's over, the demon says, "Again," and this time the businessman is exposed to the consequences of his actions, what happened to the people he interacted with after they left his presence. He sees all the ways he has affected other people's lives, and it leaves him with even more self-loathing than before. A thousand years later, he finishes. "Again," the demon says.

This time he experiences his life as he tells it, leaving nothing out, facing everything and everyone he ever hurt. He opens his heart completely. When he finishes, he expects to hear the demon say, "Again," but he is alone. He stands up and looks to the far side of the room, where the only door to the chamber has just opened and closed. A suited figure in expensive and familiar clothes stands there, fear and pride and arrogance in his eyes, and the businessman finally understands. As the suited figure approaches him, the businessman (who now looks an awful lot like a demon) tells the new arrival, "Time is fluid here."

In this instance, the switch isn't between two separate characters, as they appear to be at the beginning, but between two aspects of the same character. The character of the demon is forever the persecutor, inflicting pain and punishment, where the character of the businessman is forever the victim, punished again and again for his actions in life. But as soon as the victim realizes what his situation is, that not only is he being tortured but he is being tortured by himself, the victim becomes the persecutor, and the cyclical process begins again. This is a version of Hell that Gaiman has proposed in some of his other works, including the Sandman storyline Season of Mists, wherein the fallen angel Lucifer reveals that there is no torture that can be inflicted by others that is any worse than what we inflict upon our own minds and bodies. And though the title is a play on the words of Jean-Paul Sartre—"Hell is other people"—the story seems to imply that hell is also ourselves.

Are you happy with your job?

Here are five questions to ascertain if you are happily employed:

1. Does the job allow you to work with individuals who share your sensibilities in life or do you have to put on a persona to get through the day?
2. Does the job leave your brain in neutral?
3. Does the job open the door to future jobs?
4. Does the job represent a huge compromise for the sake of your family, and if so, do you accept that deal with all its consequences?
5. Does the job - the stuff you do day-to-day - touch your heart and feed your soul in meaningful ways?

The sixth is moot:
6. Do you have a job?

Anything but Chelsea

I hereby pledge to sell Drogba by this week, and to boycott Chelsea whenever possible, with the possible exception of del Horno. He's new so he's not really polluted yet. Hate their guts so much I adore Arsenal and Liverpool in comparison. At least Arsenal are good to watch and Liverpool are entertaining to watch too, though in the B-grade kinda way.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Equations

Does a FedEx and UPS merger mean the formation of FedUP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If Poland citizens are Poles, are Holland citizens Holes?
If infants have to go through infancy to grow up, do adults have to through adultery to grow up?
Why is your broker one letter away from broke?
If something horrific is horrible, is something terrific terrible?
Why is it a building if it's already built?
If you spin an Oriental person around, does he become disoriented?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Christian Witness

CHALLENGE
1. World's Christian misconception
2. Christians' worldly indifference

SOLUTION
1. Partner with Church (1 Cor 3:6-9) -
Me: Invest & Invite
Church: Intrigue & Introduce
2. Partner with Holy Spirit (Act 1:8; Rom 5:5; 2 Tim 1:7-8)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Girl Poem

Just to balance the sexist nature of the last post. =]

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cos I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,
With expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

DON'T call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK .

I am a WOMAN.

Rules from Men!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Sabrina dan Hafiz

Managed to meet Sabrina, go for checkup, play pool with Hafiz and sell my cue for S$80, all in this Friday. That's what I call effective leave. Really really enjoyed myself. See "Pool god".

Medical Checkup

Just passed my MOE Medical Checkup at Raffles Hospital. Now waiting for letter. A little nervous.

Liverpool vs United

Sunday's the biggie. I'm off to Edgar's place for the 7pm kickoff. I have bought NO Liverpool or United players. Now I can rest easy. No Forlan or Dudek though.

Pool god

Played Hafiz at pool today and won 11-2. On fire man. So hot it burnt a hole in my pocket. :p

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Villarreal vs United

What a waste of time!

Woke up at 0230hrs to catch this bore of a match, and rewarded with mroe petulance from Rooney.

A draw in the end was the fairest result, with a top save from each keeper, and both sides either hitting the woodwork or being thwarted by a goalline clearance. Both were missing their midfield talismans in Juan Roman Riquelme and his slightly faster counterpart Roy Keane.

All this was overshadowed by Wayne Rooney.

If you're childish and you know it, clap your hands...

Be With Me

The theatre was silent: a kind of reverent awe that causes an audience to hold its collective breath, as if standing up to leave would somehow ruin the poignancy of the moment.

There were tears, sure, and also a few lecherous comments about the lesbian kissing scene, but there was the feeling we had witnessed something a little bit special.

Be With Me moved many a festival-hardened critic at Cannes, and it did the same with this particular group of movie-goers fed on Hollywood jumbo fare, upsize please. Somehow I feel this was not unique.

For all of Jack Neo's commercial success, rarely has his hawker fare transcended the Causeway. This is not because of overzealous customs officers but due rather to the non-exportability of his films to Europe and beyond. This is where Eric Khoo stands out.

Far be it from me to label his style art house, but Khoo stands out simply because he understands he audience does not need to be spoon-fed. Weaving three loosely-connected strands around the spool of Theresa Chan's life, Be With Me is a wonderful caricature of love, set in Singapore. Not the other way round, by showcasing Singapore as others are loathe to do.

In a delightful collage of Singapore life, Khoo tells the story clearly and without pretence, while richly immersing even the casual viewer in a collage of faceted distillations. There is no need for a big name to sell the story, as this movie is a labour of love, eager to give but not to receive. In a world of the bottom-line, it is refreshing to see a filmmaker not obsessed with how much his movie will make, or to quantify his success by associating it with simple saleability.

Sure, Ezann Lee and Samantha Tan do add eye candy to the already potent broth, but the truth is this is a totally believable story, with not so much stereotypes, but distillations of Singaporean wants and needs.

Suitably for a film inspired by the deaf and blind Theresa Chan, the movie has a lowered hearing threshold and minimal dialogue, perhaps to reflect this brave woman world. Her thoughts and her story come to you in subtitles. Theresa's acting is so natural; it is almost as if she wasn't acting at all, like she did not even know the camera was there. This is her story, and she's telling it her way.

Eric Khoo is a loving director. He treats the story with the utmost care and priority, sometimes to the chagrin of his producers. With his track record though, Khoo has moved on from the Singapore Film Festival to Cannes, and now back to the Singapore big screen. How ironic that it takes foreign film festivals to validate his obvious story-telling talent.

You notice Seet Keng Yew almost immediately. I've seen this guy somewhere, you think. The truth is that he's seen you. He's your not-so-dependable security guard, voyeuristically monitoring your condominium’s security cameras. I think he's got the best job in the movie: a few lines of dialogue here and there, but eating and sleeping in between. His first line of dialogue was to order an oyster omelette. He draws immediate comparisons with Lim Kay Tong's Harry Lee in Perth: he's relieved from his security job, he wants to beat someone up to correct an injustice but finds he cannot, he is overly taken with a pretty woman he meets in the course of work, he dies from a head wound etc. Perhaps he wants to eat everything in beeeeeautiful Perth too.

His object of desire is played by the delectable Lynn Poh, probably the biggest acting name in the movie, and she isn't even a speaking character. She's not the only delectable one though. What Michelle Goh was in Mee Pok Man, many say Samantha Tan is for Be With Me. How do we know? Look how Khoo is terminally infected with the Loving Lens Syndrome. We see it in Lost in Translation, Japanese flop Option, and now here in Be With Me. Samantha is stretches languorously in bed, checks her SMS in a loose pasar malam Rip Curl spaghetti top, is nuzzled by sometime boyfriend Brian, dances uninhibitedly in a club, blah blah blah. She looks barely legal! But oh yeah, Eric Khoo is smitten.

Likewise, he is smitten with Singapore food. Even if you're blind and deaf, there's so much food in the movie you can even smell it. I mean it's EVERYWHERE. Samantha and Brian eat gelato, the father works in a provision shop and cooks home-cooked meals for a hobby (two portions, since to him his dead wife still eats), Seet Keng Yew eats and eats (noodles, chicken chop, oyster omelette, and stewed pork with bead for a nightcap), and every chef's dream food critic Theresa Chan who says everything's delicious (no comments on presentation though).

Everyone wins in this movie: Seet's character dies and doesn't have to look for a new job. His family has one less to worry about. Samantha can live happily with Brian. Ezann can perhaps start life anew. The father finally puts his wife's death behind him. His wife's spirit rests in peace. Theresa has her story told. The provision shop is open. Marlboro man can buy his cigarettes. The son has a fulfilling job. Eric Khoo has another resounding success. Did I miss anyone out?

Oh yes, the only loser in this movie has to be Siemens. Their unfriendly SMSing function and low-definition screen was highlighted. Their shock-proof phones can't survive six-storey falls (the Nokia 3210 can), and they have damn irritating SMS ring tones.
Thank God no one's Siemens phone barked during that silent, poignant theatre moment.

Week 5 review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 5 has just passed.

Aaron (539 pts) retains 1st place but his lead is diminishing.

The gap is now only 67 pts as Chongkiat (472 pts) consolidates 2nd place with the second-highest Week 5 score, thanks to an inspired Reyes and Jarosik showing.

Benedict (408.5 pts) snatches 3rd place with the third-highest Week 5 score, just ahead of incumbent Hingyau (405.5 pts).

Edgar (369 pts) returns the highest Week 5 score of 109.5 pts to pull away from Amos (347 pts) in 6th place and put the pressure on Hingyau. His keys to success? Bent, Barton, Gerrard, Baros and Carragher.

Jasmine (287.5 pts) moves up another place to 11th, thanks to her fourth-highest weekly score and copying my team. She's still the highest Week 2 starter.

At the other end, Zikai proves his team is lame in name and character with a measly 24-pt tally, the worst this week.

See you next week!

Personal Anagrams

Aaron Wong: Gnaw on oar
CPL Aaron Wong: Paragon clown; or pagan clown
Wong Chin Wei Aaron: Hi! An Norwegian cow!; Oh Ian! Crowning Awe!;
Jasmine Tang: Jane nags Tim
Jasmine Tang Yuen Har: Athens: Gem in January; Januaries' hymn agent
Nelly Tan Chik Neo: Think cleanly one.
Sharon Wong: Rash on Wong
Angela Tang: An agent lag
Amos Pang: Moan gasp
Keh Chienyung: Hygiene chunk
Edgar Chong: God changer
Sabrina Yazid: Nazi bay raids
Anthea Qiu: Antique ah?
Hafiz Rahman Nordin: Hi Nan, inform hazard
Theophilus Chan Zikai: Huh? Koala citizenship?
Theophane Chan: Phone cheat? Nah.
Agape Community Church: Am occupying much earth; Inaccuracy? Ugh. Mop them.
Moses Sia: Is MOE ass
Pastor Lawrence Koo: RE: Workspace to loan
COL Lam Shiu Tong: Hot lao muscling
Sally Lip: Plays ill
CPL Teo Weepoh: We clothe Pope
SGT Benjamin Chew: Jews bang, men itch
Christian: Rich saint
Atheist: Eat shit
Attorney: No treaty
Teacher: Cheater
President: Is pretend; spider net
Singapore: Prison age; senior gap
Bangladeshi: As lag behind
Indian worker: Worked in rain
Recruit: Curt ire
Lance-Corporal: Clean corporal; Aaron crop cell
Third Sergeant: Shattering red; straighter end; shattered grin
Second Sergeant: Teenaged scorns; No sect's grenades
First Sergeant: Grit fasteners; Fingers taster; Fitness grater
Staff Sergeant: Reg fat fatness
Master Sergeant: Garment's eaters; Are segment's rats; Manager's tester; A tart messenger
Second Warrant Officer: Afterwards confer icon; Fin: No soccer afterward; Finance cost forwarder
First Warrant Officer: Warrants forcer if fit; Warrants terrific off
Master Warrant Officer: Craft warranties for me!
Senior Warrant Officer: Forewarns are friction
Second Lieutenant: Unselected nation
Lieutenant: Until eaten
Captain: At panic; Act pain
Lieutenant-Colonel: No intellectual one; Let one lone lunatic
Brigadier-General: Badgering earlier
Major-General: Nearer logjam; Major gleaner; Major enlarge; RE: Lame jargon
Lieutenant-General: Let Lenin guarantee; Lean eagle nutrient

Football Anagrams

Manchester United: It's them endurance; Manicured the nets; Authentic red's men
Arsenal FC: Franc sale
Chelsea FC: Self-cache
Liverpool FC: Poll for vice

Ruud van Nistelrooy: Nervously around it; Involuntary soured
Wayne Rooney: Wee! Annoy Roy!; No wary eye on
Cristiano Ronaldo: No oral indicators; Snail coordinator; No sardonic tailor; Not railroads icon
Jose Mourinho: Rejoin us, homo!
Arsene Wenger: Enrage renews
Eric Cantona: Cocaine rant; Eric on an act; Nice! An actor!
Patrick Vieira: Riveira? Pack it!
Dennis Bergkamp: Sparking bend 'em!
Zinedine Zidane: Die, Nazi denizen!
Roberto Carlos: Al robot scorer
Alan Shearer: Nasal hearer; Hear Arsenal
Michael Owen: Ah! Welcome in!
Daivd Beckham: Ham dived back
Graeme Souness: Generous seams; Me generous ass!; Go see surnames; Sesame surgeon; Amuses Negroes; Same nurses' ego; Mass gore ensue
Darren Bent: Rented barn
Milan Baros: Is abnormal
Didier Drogba: Odd brigadier; Dodge air bird; Odd air bridge; Rigid roadbed
Laurent Robert: Returnable rot; Errant trouble; Returner to lab; Born turtle era
Damien Duff: Dead muffin; Dim, deaf fun; Dud fame: Fin.
Asier del Horno: Shoreline road; Healers in odor; Ladies' honorer; No isle hoarder; No Shearer idol
Nigel Reo-Coker: Corking eel roe; Generic looker
Edwin van der Sar: Invaders warned; Iran dwarves' den

English Premiership: Perishing, help 'em Sir!
Serie A: Easier
Italian Serie A: It is alien area
Primera Liga: Grim pile area
Bundesliga: Bungle aids

Faith lessons on the death and resurrection of Jesus the Messiah

vander Laan, R. (1996). Volume four: Faith lessons on the death and resurrection of Jesus the Messiah: Study guide. Colorado Springs, CO: Focus on the Family.

Midweek Service and ALG material

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Quotable Quotes

Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.
Happiness is felt by making other people happy.
You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" - Homer J. Simpson
Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.
Never hire a colorblind electrician.
Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol.
Sinning wouldn't be so popular if it's wages were paid immediately.
Its ok to kiss a fool, its ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you!
Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last fish has been caught, only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten.
I can resist anything but temptation.
If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one.
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins (The Fellowship of the Ring: J.R.R. Tolkien)
"All who wander are not lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. - Thomas Jefferson

Answer the Phone

Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep.

Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished.

Like Barney (the purple dinosaur):
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your
name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.

Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? you
guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it... *beep*

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten

We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!

You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"

Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.

As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...

Famous Last Words

One time at band camp.
Nice doggy.
Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital.
"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".
So, you're a cannibal.
Pull the pin and count to what?

Taglines

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Pickup Lines

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You must be from out of space cause I can see the stars in your eyes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say...
"I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

Bumper Stickers

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Don't drink and drive: you might spill your beer.
Constipated people don't give a crap.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON.
WARNING: in case of rapture, this car will be driverless.
We didn’t lose... we just ran out of time.
When you pee in a toilet, you wipe the seat; when you pee in the woods, you wipe your feet!
I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down.
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell Ernonimus" - Unknown
Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!
Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them
Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS

Lost in Translation

Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
Germany's Black forest sign: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

It's a sign!

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
In a Podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels.
In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.

Confucius say...

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
You never test the depth of a river with both feet.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Stupid Quotes

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

25 Crazy Thoughts

1. If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
2. When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
3. If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
4. Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
5. Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
6. How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
7. If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
8. Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
9. When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
10. Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
11. Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
13. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
15. Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
16. "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
17. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
18. Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
19. Can mute people burp?
20. How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
21. Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
22. Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
23. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
24. Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
25. If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Oxymoron Top 20

20. Government Organization
19. Alone Together
18. Personal Computer
17. Silent Scream
16. Living Dead
15. Same Difference
14. Taped Live
13. Plastic Glasses
12. Tight Slacks
11. Peace Force
10. Pretty Ugly
9. Head Butt
8. Working Vacation
7. Tax Return
6. Virtual Reality
5. Dodge Ram
4. Work Party
3. Jumbo Shrimp
2. Healthy Tan
1. Microsoft Works

Drink and Drive? Crash and Burn

A woman and a man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are alright. This must be a sign from Him that we should be great friends". The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely".
The woman points to a bottle of Scotch on the ground and says "Here's another miracle. My bottle of Scotch somehow didn't break. Surely God wants us to toast our good fortune and cement our new friendship with a drink." The man nods his head in agreement and takes the bottle of Scotch and chugs half of it to calm his nerves. He hands the bottle back to the woman, who immediately puts the cap on and passes it back to him. The man asks "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Fantasy Football Week 5

This is my team for Week 5. Liverpool and Arsenal aren't playing, so out goes Toure.

Didier Drogba
Against Sunderland? He's just gotta start to score!
Didn't start but scored anyway.

Darren Bent
The man's in form, and might crack the Brum defence. Replaces Owen. Everyone bought, and he just might flop. He wasn't the best against Northern Ireland.
Bingo. The bright spark in a poor match.

Milan Baros
The Hammers' and Villans' defences are quite porous, so I have attacking players from both sides.
Got 10 pts in a disappointing team performance. Why did I sell Harewood!?

Laurent Robert
Can't afford to drop him.
Decent return. Remember what our said about scoring even though Pompey are poor.

Matthew Etherington
Maybe he can reproduce his Week 1 form with Reo-Coker.
Disappointing from Etherington, considering an assist and three crosses.

Tim Cahill
Might get a few on target against Pompey. Hope so.
Poor. No headway against Pompey.

Damien Duff
Between him, SWP, Joe Cole and Robben, I hope he starts.
Got it wrong, but 1 assist raises the score slightly.

Asier Del Horno
Can't afford to drop him.
15 points. Another flawless week

Stephen Taylor
Can he ride the crest of the Newcastle renaissance? Stay tuned. Did well against United.
Missed out on the clean sheet, but this guy has potential.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Please click this week. Getting harder to justify him in the line-up.
Expected more with the clean sheet.

Edwin van der Sar
He'll keep the clean sheet.
Un lucky, but saved brilliantly from Cole at the end.