Men!

Men are like...

Place mats: They only show up when there's food on the table.
Mascara: They run at the first sign of emotion.
Government bonds: They take so long to mature.
Parking spots: The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Photocopiers: You need them for reproduction, and that's about it.
Lava lamps: Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Bank accounts: Without much money, they don't generate much interest.
High heels: Easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.