What's your playa?

Player most likely to run afoul of the law:
Stelios Giannakopoulos (Kena-go-polis)

Hottest player:
Sun (Sun. Geddit?) Jihai

Player constantly going missing:
Wes (Where's) Brown

Most impractical player:
Thierry (Theory) Henry

Player who thrives in wet weather:
Jose Reina (Ho seh! Rain ah!)

Fattest player:
Xabi (Chubby) Alonso