What schools really want to tell you

On a school's automatic answering machine:

"Hellp! This is Singapore Primary School. Please listen tio all options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent, press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work, press 2.
To complain about what we do, press 3.
To scold staff members, press 4.
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you, press 5.
If you want us to raise your child, press 6.
If you want to reach out and slap someone, press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year, press 8.
To complain about bus transportation, press 9.
To complain about canteen food, press 0.
If you realise that this is the real world and your child must be accountable for his/her own behaviour, homework and that it's not the teacher's fault concerning your child's lack of effort, hang up and have a great day!