A tushy issue

A tushy issue

Yes tushy, not touchy. Warning: May spoil dinner.

Ok let's get straight to the point: I have a boil.

Not exactly the plague that afflicted the Egyptians in Biblical times, but one's enough, if put in the right place. As it happens, this one's right on the BUTT. What a BUMMER.

OK let's describe it. If you like your chocolate, DON'T read on. Warning: Also a lot of puns.

It's recurrent as I had it like two months ago, and forced to retreat by antibiotics then, it came back with a vengeance, and err... kicked ASS.

The boil had the CHEEK to manifest itself right on my posterior, making it difficult to do everything that needs sitting, squatting, bending, stretching ie everything. Soon though, the pain proved too uncomfortable, so I went to see the MO. "Have a SEAT," he said. After telling my story, he said he'd try to remove it. Without anaesthetic. You know when you just don't have a good feeling about something? Like you don't have a good feeling about having the doctor squeezing pus outta your butt? That sorta feeling.

Ten minutes of extracting the lifeblood out of the impudent boil followed, with me alternating between gritting my teeth and biting my hand. No anaesthetic, just good ol' fashioned kneading, pushing, wrenching blah blah blah. But then it was over. And it HURT. But the Hershey's Kisses mutant was gone.

I couldn't walk straight after that, could only sit on my left buttock, and basically walked funny the whole day. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.