25 Crazy Thoughts

1. If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
2. When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
3. If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
4. Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
5. Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
6. How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
7. If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
8. Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
9. When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
10. Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
11. Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
13. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
15. Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
16. "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
17. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
18. Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
19. Can mute people burp?
20. How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
21. Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
22. Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
23. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
24. Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
25. If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?