It's a sign!

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
In a Podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels.
In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.