Confessions of a SPG

Chuay Pek Lang, 23, Sarong Party Girl

So bad, you know!

I just read in the Straits Times, got some chao ang mor journalist write that all these Asian women are flirting with ang mor men and tempting them away from their wives and children!

That's not true! The ang mor men are also tempting me, what.

It's two-way temptation.

I'm tempting them away from their frumpy wives with their water-retaining ankles, while they are tempting me away from typical stoner Singapore men with their boring lifestyles.

I also think it's very unfair to call Asian women who prefer ang mor men 'sarong party girls'. I mean, we rarely wear sarongs. It covers up too much.

People always ask me why I only want to date ang mor men.

It's because ang mor men treat their women with so much more respect than Asian men do.

Asian men are only interested in having us so that we can have children and form a family. Asian men see us only as wives. In their eyes, we are these boring, quiet, obedient and meek mice.

Whereas what the ang mor men see are sexy, long-haired, provocatively-dressed sirens.

In other words, unlike Asian men, they see us as individuals and not stereotypes.

That's why I'm doing whatever it takes to snag an ang mor - dressing sexily, getting tanned within an inch of skin cancer, growing long, straight hair.

I'm doing it so that I can retain my dignity and respect!

And why go out with Asian men? They always eventually have affairs with prostitutes in some foreign country, leaving their poor wives behind. Ang mor men are not like that at all!

Some more Asian men are not as socially sophisticated as ang mor men.

For example, when I'm at a bar, I can approach an ang mor man, even a stranger, anytime and they will chat with me, buy me drinks. So pleasant!

Whereas these Asian men are downright unpleasant - always coming up and trying to chat and buy me drinks. I mean, they're complete strangers! What do they think I am? The sleazeballs!

My favourite place to meet ang mor men is Boat Quay.

I think there is something magical and romantic there, right next to the water.

One of my ang mor boyfriends also believes it's some sort of magical tradition for Asian women and ang mor men to meet by the waterside.

He said that on every pier in every Asian country, there are always Asian women there waiting to meet ang mor men! Isn't that nice?

Which is why when people call me racist for preferring ang mor men, I always disagree.

Racist is when you think of another race as inferior, whereas I think of another race as superior.

Some more, there's proof that ang mors are genetically superior to Asian men.

I mean look at chap cheng babies. So nice looking, with big, round eyes. Not like Asian babies with their slitty, chicken eyes.

So how can I possibly be racist? These people, ah, all talk cock.