Dumb court questions

Were you present when your picture was taken?

How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

You were there until the time you left, is that true?

She had three children?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there any girls?

You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
These stairs, did they go up too?

You went on a honeymoon, didn't you?
Yes, to Europe.
And you took your wife?

How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
By whose death was it terminated?

Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Can you describe the person?
He was of medium height and he had a beard.
Was this a male or female?

Is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I despatched to your attorney?
No, this is how I usually dress for work.

Then was the lawyer who started off horribly: "My Honour, may I approach the bench?"