The father's pain

A married couple went to the hospital to have their first baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably,the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. The amazed doctor told the man that the pain he had endured would have killed any normal man.
She and her husband were ecstatic about their newborn and the pain-free way he was delivered.
Until they got home to find the milkman dead on the porch.

Nokia 7710

Just sold my Nokia 7710 to an Aaron for $720.
Win-win:
I make $720 profit, he saves $300 plus free headset, battery and MM Card.
The wonders of Yahoo! Auctions.

Then I had to refund him $50 cos the 12-mth warranty was 10 months. He threatened a police report before I gave in. Still.

Fantasy Football Week 3

This is my team for Week 3. Liverpool and Arsenal aren't playing, so out goes Toure.

Didier Drogba
Third time lucky? Hope so. London derby. Hope he scored and Chelsea lose.
Pbbbt. No action there.

Andy Cole
Playing against Pompey! *salivates* POINTS!!!
Scored AGAIN!

Laurent Robert
Selfish player who gets points for you no matter how poorly his teammates are doing.
Did his job, but more subdued in another poor Pompey display.

Jonathan Greening
Able to buy him cos I bought a few Man City midfielders. Crosses almost as much as Pennant, but I fancy Greening in a home game. Birmingham have scored only one in three games. Replaces Etherington
Decent performance with 10 points. Good buy.

Morten Gamst Pedersen
Away to Villa, but this lad has class. His team is crass though.
Everyone underperfomed this week. Sigh.

Trevor Sinclair
Really fancy Man City to do well against Pompey. It's a gamble. Sinclair's playing well. Replaces Pennant.
Did well for City. But why oh why did I replace 17-point Pennant?!?!?

Claus Jensen
Everton haven't impressed and the classy Dane might teach them a lesson. Replaces Reyna.
And why did I replace Reyna?!?!?

Asier Del Horno
Need I say more?
First goal for the club!

Niclas Jensen
Not to be confused with countryman and teammate Claus, Niclas has been doing well. Wanted Stephen Jordan of Man City, but a little bird told me he wouldn't start. Cunningham was an option too.
No-nonsense display.

Nigel Reo-Coker
Untouchable.
His star is waning. Might drop him next week.

Edwin van der Sar
Having tried out a fringe keeper last week, look what happened! Wanted Sorensen, but am playing safe with Edwin.
Clean sheet, four saves, maybe even an assist!!!

Week 3 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 3 has just passed.
There are no games in Week 4 due to the World Cup Qualifiers.

Aaron (444 pts) retains top place but fails to keep his record of highest weekly score. He was pipped by Chongkiat by 108.5 pts to 106.

Chongkiat (360.5 pts) retains second place with the highest weekly score. Thanks to my recommending Roberts (14.5 pts). But I guess my recommendation of Kirkland (-1 pts) countered that.

Hingyau (229 pts) retains third place with another consistent performance.

Jasmine moves up four places, thanks to her third highest weekly score and my valuable input. She's also the highest Week 2 starter.

Zikai, Ben, Kenneth and Keh are in danger of slipping into the relagation zone if they don't buck up!

Gary and Nat: Come on up!

See you next week!

Week 2 Review: Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 2 has just passed so don't forget to change your Week 3 team by Sat 27 Aug.

Aaron (338 pts) takes top place with most of his players performing.

Chongkiat (252 pts) takes second place witht the second highest weekly score.

Hingyau (229 pts) takes third place with a solid midfield performance.

Jasmine finally moves out of the bottom three, thanks to two new teams, but she leapfrogs Syafiq as well.

Ben comes out of nowhere to pillage 146 points, thanks to Aaron picking Henry, Lampard, Terry and Friedel for him, to claim 14th spot ahead of Jeremy and Keh.

Welcome Nathaniel and Gary. Hope to see you on the scoreboard soon.

See you next week!

Perth: The Geylang massacre

Just watched Perth: The Geylang massacre.

More on this later.

Will talk about:
Lim Kay Tong
Analogy (redemption, dead fish, guan gong)
SAF

Member List

Here's the final league teams, in order of date joined:
1 (TT)vaches de chier: CPL Aaron Wong
2 Magpies: Kenneth Yee (Agape)
3 girlz: Jasmine Tang (Agape)
4 The Bananas: CPL Benedict Chen (BMT 'H')
5 Fantastic 11: CPL Benedict Chen (BMT 'H')
6 Punk'd Deck: Tay Teckseng (Agape)
7 Arrogant Aaron: Tan Chongkiat (AISS)
8 Tongkat Ali: Keh Chienyung (MCM)
9 RUSH: Edgar Chong (Agape)
10 Legion of Lasagne: Theophane Chan (Agape, ex-2 SIB)
11 the Real Lame deal: Chan Zikai (Agape)
12 N.B.Man Utd: CPL Luo Lianbin (2 SIB)
13 BoYwOnDeR: LCP Hung Hingyau (2 SIB)
14 IstanPool05: Clarence Williams (Agape)
15 Bravehearts: CPL(NS) Jeremy Toh (2 SIB)
16 Heart Breaker: Amos Pang (Agape)
17 Fresh-C-Food: LCP Syafiq Tubi (2 SIB)
18 Ben's Bengs: 3SG Benjamin Chew (2 SIB)
19 nate-united: Nathaniel Tan (MCM)
20 Fantasia: CPL Gary Lim (2 SIB)

Agape: 8
2 SIB: 6
MCM: 2

Have randomly invited a whole lot of acquaintances, so let's see what happens.

Fantasy Football Week 2

This is my team for Week 2. There're many two gamers this week, so it might make sense to pick more of those.

Didier Drogba
Drogba should stay in the lineup, since Gudjohnsen didn't do much to suggest otherwise. Against Arsenal, muscle is needed, and Drogba has more of that than Crespo.
Good result. Came on and won the match for Chelsea. If he keeps performing, Crespo and Gudjohnsen won't get a look in. And neither will other strikers in my team.
Another winning performance. He's really hit the ground running. He should be a mainstay. Chelsea'll always get goals.

Alan Shearer
Why Shearer? Well, he's chasing Jackie Milburn's record (three to go), but he was my last choice, so he was most value for money. Anyway Jasmine chose him too.
Yuck. It was between Shearer and Mido. Damn.
Newcastle suck man. Not entirely Shearer's fault, but poor, poor outing.

Andy Cole
He played well in the last match, with five attempts on goal. Definitely overshadowed Vassell. Birmingham and Sunderand away? He might just got one or two.
15 points from the Man City man. Might be a bargain this season.
Got an assist. Good work!

Laurent Robert
He's appearing for the second week, and with good reason. One of those rare players who get good points no matter how their team performs. Set-piece king plays WBA and Villa, teams not famed for their defensive qualities.
The set-piece king strikes again. Could be good business against a toothless Villa too.
Unlucky not to score. Another useful display.

Matthew Etherington
No other player will give you the same value for 5.85m, so that's why I'm keeping him. If he gets 7+ points, that's good enough for me. He's playing an Emre-less Newcastle.
Ooh. Having second thoughts now. Were West Ham a flash in the pan?

Morten Gamst Pedersen
Best Blackburn midfielder has home games against Fulham and Spurs. Might rack up a few. Scored 12.5 in his last match with an SOT.
Great choice with a goal an assist and 21 points. But that was the easy match. 10 points against Spurs will be successful.
A quieter performance, though Blackburn did OK.

Jermaine Pennant
Scored 7.5 pts last week, also with no SOTs. Home games against Man City and Boro might change that.
9 points without an SOT. Something similar against Boro would be good business.
Outdid himself, and still no SOT. Wing wizard.

Asier Del Horno
All my defenders remain unchanged. Del Horno might get crosses and clean sheets (note the plural) this week. Let the points roll in. He's no competition with Wayne Bridge injured.
Unheard of. 15.5 points, and he had a quiet game! For 5 units, he's an absolute bargain!
Revelaton of the season so far. Those who didn't pick him in Week 1 are crying.

Kolo Toure
With Campbell injured, I still fancy Arsenal to get a clean sheet against a toothless Fulham. Toure and Arsenal will be looking to avenge their Community Shield loss. As a converted attacking mid, he might pop a few.
Didn't do too well, but he struggled against Chelsea.
Improved performance. Missed out on a clean sheet.

Nigel Reo-Coker
He's a season-long pick, barring a long injury layoff. Never forget, he'll earn you points as a defender and midfielder. He's not too bad too.
Hey. 7 points is decent enough. Satisfied.

Shay Given
The Irishman played out of his skin against Arsenal and was unlucky to concede two. He almost saved a penalty! If he had, I wouldn't be able to afford him this week. He's have planty of opportunites to save with Emre out. He's facing the rampant Hammers and two-goal Bolton.
Didn't have much to do against the Hammers and kept his clean sheet. Just got into double figures.
Let in two without a save. Bad call.

Phobia phobia

Here's an exhaustive list of phobias, taken from http://www.phobialist.com/
What are you afraid of?

A-
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Acarophobia- Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Acerophobia- Fear of sourness.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia- Fear of noise.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Aerophobia- Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airbourne noxious substances.
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
Aeronausiphobia- Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness.
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Agrizoophobia- Fear of wild animals.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Albuminurophobia- Fear of kidney disease.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Altophobia- Fear of heights.
Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Amnesiphobia- Fear of amnesia.
Amychophobia- Fear of scratches or being scratched.
Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
Ancraophobia- Fear of wind. (Anemophobia)
Androphobia- Fear of men.
Anemophobia- Fear of air drafts or wind.(Ancraophobia)
Anginophobia- Fear of angina, choking or narrowness.
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Ankylophobia- Fear of immobility of a joint.
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia- Fear of people or society.
Antlophobia- Fear of floods.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Aphenphosmphobia- Fear of being touched. (Haphephobia)
Apiphobia- Fear of bees.
Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Arrhenphobia- Fear of men.
Arsonphobia- Fear of fire.
Asthenophobia- Fear of fainting or weakness.
Astraphobia or Astrapophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Ceraunophobia, Keraunophobia)
Astrophobia- Fear of stars or celestial space.
Asymmetriphobia- Fear of asymmetrical things.
Ataxiophobia- Fear of ataxia. (muscular incoordination)
Ataxophobia- Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
Atephobia- Fear of ruin or ruins.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atomosophobia- Fear of atomic explosions.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.
Aurophobia- Fear of gold.
Auroraphobia- Fear of Northern lights.
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Automysophobia- Fear of being dirty.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying.


B-
Bacillophobia- Fear of microbes.
Bacteriophobia- Fear of bacteria.
Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets.
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity.
Basophobia or Basiphobia- Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
Bathmophobia- Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Bathophobia- Fear of depth.
Batophobia- Fear of heights or being close to high buildings.
Batrachophobia- Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.
Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles. (Aichmophobia)
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Blennophobia- Fear of slime.
Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia- Fear of body smells.
Brontophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.
Bufonophobia- Fear of toads.


C-
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Cainophobia or Cainotophobia- Fear of newness, novelty.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Cancerophobia or Carcinophobia- Fear of cancer.
Cardiophobia- Fear of the heart.
Carnophobia- Fear of meat.
Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
Catapedaphobia- Fear of jumping from high and low places.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Cenophobia or Centophobia- Fear of new things or ideas.
Ceraunophobia or Keraunophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Astraphobia, Astrapophobia)
Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.
Cheimaphobia or Cheimatophobia- Fear of cold.(Frigophobia, Psychophobia)
Chemophobia- Fear of chemicals or working with chemicals.
Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety.
Chionophobia- Fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia- Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia- Fear of hands.
Cholerophobia- Fear of anger or the fear of cholera.
Chorophobia- Fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.
Chronophobia- Fear of time.
Chronomentrophobia- Fear of clocks.
Cibophobia- Fear of food.(Sitophobia, Sitiophobia)
Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Climacophobia- Fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs.
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed.
Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia- Fear of being enclosed.
Cnidophobia- Fear of stings.
Cometophobia- Fear of comets.
Coimetrophobia- Fear of cemeteries.
Coitophobia- Fear of coitus.
Contreltophobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
Coprophobia- Fear of feces.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Counterphobia- The preference by a phobic for fearful situations.
Cremnophobia- Fear of precipices.
Cryophobia- Fear of extreme cold, ice or frost.
Crystallophobia- Fear of crystals or glass.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cyclophobia- Fear of bicycles.
Cymophobia or Kymophobia- Fear of waves or wave like motions.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies.
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.


D-
Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowels movements.
Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Dementophobia- Fear of insanity.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
Demophobia- Fear of crowds. (Agoraphobia)
Dendrophobia- Fear of trees.
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Dermatophobia- Fear of skin lesions.
Dermatosiophobia or Dermatophobia or Dermatopathophobia- Fear of skin disease.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Diabetophobia- Fear of diabetes.
Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school.
Dikephobia- Fear of justice.
Dinophobia- Fear of dizziness or whirlpools.
Diplophobia- Fear of double vision.
Dipsophobia- Fear of drinking.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Domatophobia- Fear of houses or being in a house.(Eicophobia, Oikophobia)
Doraphobia- Fear of fur or skins of animals.
Doxophobia- Fear of expressing opinions or of receiving praise.
Dromophobia- Fear of crossing streets.
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Dysmorphophobia- Fear of deformity.
Dystychiphobia- Fear of accidents.


E-
Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.
Ecophobia- Fear of home.
Eicophobia- Fear of home surroundings.(Domatophobia, Oikophobia)
Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
Electrophobia- Fear of electricity.
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom.
Elurophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia)
Emetophobia- Fear of vomiting.
Enetophobia- Fear of pins.
Enochlophobia- Fear of crowds.
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia- Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
Entomophobia- Fear of insects.
Eosophobia- Fear of dawn or daylight.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Equinophobia- Fear of horses.
Eremophobia- Fear of being oneself or of lonliness.
Ereuthrophobia- Fear of blushing.
Ergasiophobia- 1) Fear of work or functioning. 2) Surgeon's fear of operating.
Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Erotophobia- Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Erythrophobia or Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia- 1) Fear of redlights. 2) Blushing. 3) Red.


F-
Febriphobia or Fibriphobia or Fibriophobia- Fear of fever.
Felinophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Galeophobia, Gatophobia)
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia)
Frigophobia- Fear of cold or cold things.(Cheimaphobia, Cheimatophobia, Psychrophobia)


G-
Galeophobia or Gatophobia- Fear of cats.
Gallophobia or Galiophobia- Fear France or French culture. (Francophobia)
Gamophobia- Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Gephyrophobia or Gephydrophobia or Gephysrophobia- Fear of crossing bridges.
Germanophobia- Fear of Germany or German culture.
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.
Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
Geumaphobia or Geumophobia- Fear of taste.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gnosiophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Graphophobia- Fear of writing or handwriting.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia- Fear of women.


H-
Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things.
Hamartophobia- Fear of sinning.
Haphephobia or Haptephobia- Fear of being touched.
Harpaxophobia- Fear of being robbed.
Hedonophobia- Fear of feeling pleasure.
Heliophobia- Fear of the sun.
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood.
Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia- Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation.
Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Heterophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Sexophobia)
Hierophobia- Fear of priests or sacred things.
Hippophobia- Fear of horses.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
Hobophobia- Fear of bums or beggars.
Hodophobia- Fear of road travel.
Hormephobia- Fear of shock.
Homichlophobia- Fear of fog.
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons.
Hominophobia- Fear of men.
Homophobia- Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Hoplophobia- Fear of firearms.
Hydrargyophobia- Fear of mercurial medicines.
Hydrophobia- Fear of water or of rabies.
Hydrophobophobia- Fear of rabies.
Hyelophobia or Hyalophobia- Fear of glass.
Hygrophobia- Fear of liquids, dampness, or moisture.
Hylephobia- Fear of materialism or the fear of epilepsy.
Hylophobia- Fear of forests.
Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility.
Hypnophobia- Fear of sleep or of being hypnotized.
Hypsiphobia- Fear of height.


I-
Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.
Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish.
Ideophobia- Fear of ideas.
Illyngophobia- Fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down.
Iophobia- Fear of poison.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.
Isopterophobia- Fear of termites, insects that eat wood.
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.


J-
Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.


K-
Kainolophobia or Kainophobia- Fear of anything new, novelty.
Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
Katagelophobia- Fear of ridicule.
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down.
Kenophobia- Fear of voids or empty spaces.
Keraunophobia or Ceraunophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Astraphobia, Astrapophobia)
Kinetophobia or Kinesophobia- Fear of movement or motion.
Kleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Koinoniphobia- Fear of rooms.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Kopophobia- Fear of fatigue.
Koniophobia- Fear of dust. (Amathophobia)
Kosmikophobia- Fear of cosmic phenomenon.
Kymophobia- Fear of waves. (Cymophobia)
Kynophobia- Fear of rabies.
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.


L-
Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables.
Laliophobia or Lalophobia- Fear of speaking.
Leprophobia or Lepraphobia- Fear of leprosy.
Leukophobia- Fear of the color white.
Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.
Ligyrophobia- Fear of loud noises.
Lilapsophobia- Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Limnophobia- Fear of lakes.
Linonophobia- Fear of string.
Liticaphobia- Fear of lawsuits.
Lockiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Logizomechanophobia- Fear of computers.
Logophobia- Fear of words.
Luiphobia- Fear of lues, syphillis.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.
Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.
Lyssophobia- Fear of rabies or of becoming mad.


M-
Macrophobia- Fear of long waits.
Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Malaxophobia- Fear of love play. (Sarmassophobia)
Maniaphobia- Fear of insanity.
Mastigophobia- Fear of punishment.
Mechanophobia- Fear of machines.
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Megalophobia- Fear of large things.
Melissophobia- Fear of bees.
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black.
Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music.
Meningitophobia- Fear of brain disease.
Menophobia- Fear of menstruation.
Merinthophobia- Fear of being bound or tied up.
Metallophobia- Fear of metal.
Metathesiophobia- Fear of changes.
Meteorophobia- Fear of meteors.
Methyphobia- Fear of alcohol.
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Microbiophobia- Fear of microbes. (Bacillophobia)
Microphobia- Fear of small things.
Misophobia or Mysophobia- Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories.
Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia- Fear of dirt or contamination.
Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone.
Monopathophobia- Fear of definite disease.
Motorphobia- Fear of automobiles.
Mottephobia- Fear of moths.
Musophobia or Muriphobia- Fear of mice.
Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
Mycrophobia- Fear of small things.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.
Myrmecophobia- Fear of ants.
Mythophobia- Fear of myths or stories or false statements.
Myxophobia- Fear of slime. (Blennophobia)


N-
Nebulaphobia- Fear of fog. (Homichlophobia)
Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things.
Nelophobia- Fear of glass.
Neopharmaphobia- Fear of new drugs.
Neophobia- Fear of anything new.
Nephophobia- Fear of clouds.
Noctiphobia- Fear of the night.
Nomatophobia- Fear of names.
Nosocomephobia- Fear of hospitals.
Nosophobia or Nosemaphobia- Fear of becoming ill.
Nostophobia- Fear of returning home.
Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother.
Nucleomituphobia- Fear of nuclear weapons.
Nudophobia- Fear of nudity.
Numerophobia- Fear of numbers.
Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night
Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.


O-
Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)
Ochlophobia- Fear of crowds or mobs.
Ochophobia- Fear of vehicles.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery.
Odynophobia or Odynephobia- Fear of pain. (Algophobia)
Oenophobia- Fear of wines.
Oikophobia- Fear of home surroundings, house.(Domatophobia, Eicophobia)
Olfactophobia- Fear of smells.
Ombrophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on.
Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia- Fear of eyes.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.
Onomatophobia- Fear of hearing a certain word or of names.
Ophidiophobia- Fear of snakes. (Snakephobia)
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at.
Opiophobia- Fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Ornithophobia- Fear of birds.
Orthophobia- Fear of property.
Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia- Fear of smells or odors.
Ostraconophobia- Fear of shellfish.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.


P-
Pagophobia- Fear of ice or frost.
Panthophobia- Fear of suffering and disease.
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Paralipophobia- Fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.
Paraphobia- Fear of sexual perversion.
Parasitophobia- Fear of parasites.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.
Pathophobia- Fear of disease.
Patroiophobia- Fear of heredity.
Parturiphobia- Fear of childbirth.
Peccatophobia- Fear of sinning or imaginary crimes.
Pediculophobia- Fear of lice.
Pediophobia- Fear of dolls.
Pedophobia- Fear of children.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Pellagrophobia- Fear of pellagra.
Peniaphobia- Fear of poverty.
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)
Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.
Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine.
Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
Philosophobia- Fear of philosophy.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Photoaugliaphobia- Fear of glaring lights.
Photophobia- Fear of light.
Phonophobia- Fear of noises or voices or one's own voice; of telephones.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Phthiriophobia- Fear of lice. (Pediculophobia)
Phthisiophobia- Fear of tuberculosis.
Placophobia- Fear of tombstones.
Plutophobia- Fear of wealth.
Pluviophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on.
Pneumatiphobia- Fear of spirits.
Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia- Fear of choking of being smothered.
Pocrescophobia- Fear of gaining weight. (Obesophobia)
Pogonophobia- Fear of beards.
Poliosophobia- Fear of contracting poliomyelitis.
Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Polyphobia- Fear of many things.
Poinephobia- Fear of punishment.
Ponophobia- Fear of overworking or of pain.
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.
Potamophobia- Fear of rivers or running water.
Potophobia- Fear of alcohol.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of drugs.
Proctophobia- Fear of rectums.
Prosophobia- Fear of progress.
Psellismophobia- Fear of stuttering.
Psychophobia- Fear of mind.
Psychrophobia- Fear of cold.
Pteromerhanophobia- Fear of flying.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.
Pyrexiophobia- Fear of Fever.
Pyrophobia- Fear of fire.


Q-

R-
Radiophobia- Fear of radiation, x-rays.
Ranidaphobia- Fear of frogs.
Rectophobia- Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand)
Rhypophobia- Fear of defecation.
Rhytiphobia- Fear of getting wrinkles.
Rupophobia- Fear of dirt.
Russophobia- Fear of Russians.


S-
Samhainophobia: Fear of Halloween.
Sarmassophobia- Fear of love play. (Malaxophobia)
Satanophobia- Fear of Satan.
Scabiophobia- Fear of scabies.
Scatophobia- Fear of fecal matter.
Scelerophibia- Fear of bad men, burglars.
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Scoleciphobia- Fear of worms.
Scolionophobia- Fear of school.
Scopophobia or Scoptophobia- Fear of being seen or stared at.
Scotomaphobia- Fear of blindness in visual field.
Scotophobia- Fear of darkness. (Achluophobia)
Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public.
Selachophobia- Fear of sharks.
Selaphobia- Fear of light flashes.
Selenophobia- Fear of the moon.
Seplophobia- Fear of decaying matter.
Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words.
Sexophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)
Siderodromophobia- Fear of trains, railroads or train travel.
Siderophobia- Fear of stars.
Sinistrophobia- Fear of things to the left or left-handed.
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.
Sitophobia or Sitiophobia- Fear of food or eating. (Cibophobia)
Snakephobia- Fear of snakes. (Ophidiophobia)
Soceraphobia- Fear of parents-in-law.
Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.
Sociophobia- Fear of society or people in general.
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep.
Sophophobia- Fear of learning.
Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others.
Spacephobia- Fear of outer space.
Spectrophobia- Fear of specters or ghosts.
Spermatophobia or Spermophobia- Fear of germs.
Spheksophobia- Fear of wasps.
Stasibasiphobia or Stasiphobia- Fear of standing or walking. (Ambulophobia)
Staurophobia- Fear of crosses or the crucifix.
Stenophobia- Fear of narrow things or places.
Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia- Fear of hell.
Suriphobia- Fear of mice.
Symbolophobia- Fear of symbolism.
Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry.
Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives.
Syphilophobia- Fear of syphilis.


T-
Tachophobia- Fear of speed.
Taeniophobia or Teniophobia- Fear of tapeworms.
Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Tapinophobia- Fear of being contagious.
Taurophobia- Fear of bulls.
Technophobia- Fear of technology.
Teleophobia- 1) Fear of definite plans. 2) Religious ceremony.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Teratophobia- Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
Testophobia- Fear of taking tests.
Tetanophobia- Fear of lockjaw, tetanus.
Teutophobia- Fear of German or German things.
Textophobia- Fear of certain fabrics.
Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting.
Thalassophobia- Fear of the sea.
Thanatophobia or Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying.
Theatrophobia- Fear of theatres.
Theologicophobia- Fear of theology.
Theophobia- Fear of gods or religion.
Thermophobia- Fear of heat.
Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
Tomophobia- Fear of surgical operations.
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder.
Topophobia- Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia- Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
Traumatophobia- Fear of injury.
Tremophobia- Fear of trembling.
Trichinophobia- Fear of trichinosis.
Trichopathophobia or Trichophobia- Fear of hair. (Chaetophobia, Hypertrichophobia)
Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
Tropophobia- Fear of moving or making changes.
Trypanophobia- Fear of injections.
Tuberculophobia- Fear of tuberculosis.
Tyrannophobia- Fear of tyrants.


U-
Uranophobia or Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.


V-

Vaccinophobia- Fear of vaccination.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Verbophobia- Fear of words.
Verminophobia- Fear of germs.
Vestiphobia- Fear of clothing.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.
Vitricophobia- Fear of step-father.


W-
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.
Wiccaphobia: Fear of witches and witchcraft.


X-
Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.
Xenoglossophobia- Fear of foreign languages.
Xenophobia- Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Xerophobia- Fear of dryness.
Xylophobia- 1) Fear of wooden objects. 2) Forests.
Xyrophobia-Fear of razors.

Y-
Z-
Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
Zoophobia- Fear of animals.

Signs

Hotel:
We need inn-experienced people.

Vet:
Back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!

Funeral home:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.

Computer shop:
Out for a quick byte.

A little goes a long way

If you yell for eight years, seven months and six days, you produce enough sound energy to heat a cup of coffee.

If you fart consistently for six years and nine months, enough gas is produces to creat an atomic bomb.

The human heart creats enough pressure to squirt blood 10 metres.

A cockroach can live nine days after being beheaded before starving to death.

Banging your head against the wall uses 150 calories an hour.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length, which is like the human jumping six football fields.

Adding injury to insult

Noel Coward (to a not-so-pretty actress): You almost look like a man.
Edna: So do you.

Zsa Zsa Gabor: I'm a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Groucho Marx: I had a wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Woman 1: I married a lawyer, and an honest man.
Woman 2: Isn't that bigamy?

Dinner partner: Mr Churchill, you're drunk.
Winston Chirchill: You, Madam, are ugly. But I'll be sober in the morning.

Winston Churchill: He has all the virtues I despise and none of the vices I admire.

"He's the only man I know who has rubber pockets so he can steal soup."

"He's a fine friend: he stabs you from the front."

"Here lies my wife,
Here let her lie;
Now she's at rest,
And so am I."

I swear!

How ironic that though swearing is a sin, many swear words contain references to God. Even something as innocuous as "Goodbye" is a derivative of the archaic sign-off "God be with ye".

Crikey; Jeepers Creepers - References to Jesus Christ
Cor blimey - God blind me!
Omigosh - Oh my God!
Holy cow; Holy mackerel; Holy guacamole - I have no idea how why they beatified the bovine, anointed the angler's choice, or glorified the gourmet bean paste
Sacre bleu (French) - sacred blue, meaning sacred heavens, or Good heavens!
What the heck; What the hell; What the fish - The first two are derived from heaven's counterpart, which might explain why they're slightly more popular. The last one is derived from a word I'd rather not say, but it rhymes with "duck".
Darn; Dang - Call a spade a spade: It's derived from Damn.

Play for Your Club!

http://www.playforyourclub.com/play20.php?97112

Be a top Premier League striker! Rooney, van Nistelrooy, Henry et al! Even Jason Roberts!
My high score is 99550.

Pool!

Had a good game of 9-ball pool with Ben, Julian, Lianbin and Hung at Pool Factor, Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. Nice of Weepoh to give us all a lift in his white Mitsubishi Lancer. We spent four hours (1830-2230hrs) there including dinner, at $4.80/hr cecause we're NSFs (though not for long).

Spent the time playing everyone as we had five people and two tables, and practised potting with english, one-rail kicks and safeties.

Broke for dinner at Al Azhar Restaurant and basically whack everything on the menu: Chicken murtabak, cheese prata, Planta prata, plain prata, mee goreng washed down with ice koi cino and Milo peng.

Then went back for more pool. Kinda screwed up by people drilling in the floor underneath and the balls getting stuck in the pocket, but still a successful excursion. Until I realised the time and had to rush them all off as I had to catch EPL Highlights at 2300hrs! Shared cab with them to camp and took it from there. Reached home at 2310hrs just after Rooey and Ruud had scored. Oh well.

And I'm still stuck on that pool book Ben lent me. Have photocopied the whole thing on kick and bank shots. One rail, two rails, three rails and more!

No friendly wagers anyone?

OK if any Liverpool/Arsenal fan finishes above me, I will personally wear a Liverpool/Arsenal jersey for one day. You have to provide it though.

If a Man Utd fan finishes above me, then I celebrate with you and will gladly lend you my jersey for you to wear.

If you're a Newcastle/Chelsea fan, sorry you're off my radar. All disrespect intended.

However, if you're a Real Madrid fan, welcome to the league, but all bets are off, since your heart isn't with the EPL. Just kidding. =]

Let this message be black and white come the end of this season. United for the trophy! The rest for atrophy!

Week 1: Yahoo Fantasy Football

Well done all!

Week 1 has just passed so don't forget to change your Week 2 team by Sat 20 Aug 7pm.

Aaron (135 pts) takes top place with a couple of fortunate gambles on Matthew Etherington, Nigel Reo-Coker and Kevin Phillips. He might not be so lucky next time.

Clarence (92 pts) and Amos (88 pts) take second and third place respectively with some loyal choices, seeing how they're Liverpool die-hards.

Jasmine props up the table, bacause... wll because she forgot to set her team. Sigh. No complete team means 0 points, so take note guys.

Keh is next with 31 points. But this being his maiden season, let's cut him some slack. After all, I stand to gain Tongkat Ali coffee powder! FYI, Wayne Bridge is injured, and Sunderland do NOT have a good defence. Plain bad luck with the rest of the choices.

See you next week!

Credit Card Survey (Face-to-face): Project Lonely Planet - Earn $30!

Hi Guys/Gals,

Please note that this invitation is also open to people you know.
Interviews will be conducted at Acorn's main office in Field Department 4th Floor, 241, River Valley Road, or any location of your convenience. The interview is expected to take 30min.

Take note: There are THREE criteria for this interview:
1. You TRAVEL FREQUENTLY in the ASIA PACIFIC REGION including CHINA for either leisure or business purposes.
2. You are a GOLD CREDIT CARD HOLDER AND ABOVE of CITIBANK (excluding Supplementary Card).
3. You are between 21-50 YEARS OLD.

Incentive: $30 if interview is conducted at Acorn's office, $15 if interview is conducted at a place of your convenience.

If you fulfil the above criteria (or know someone who does), email me your NAME, CONTACT NUMBER, AGE and GENDER and you can expect to receive a call from us soon. You can then arrange a convenient time and place to meet us.

Feel free to refer friends or relatives interested in this survey. It's an easy way to make a quick, legal buck.

Look forward to hear from you soon! Please note that registration closes on 15 Aug 05!

Thanks,
Aaron

Fantasy Football Week 1

OK I hope this will be a regular thing where I post my team and rationale for choosing them, for the benefit for those new to the game.

I base my teams heavily on their opposition, TeamTalk's suggestion's, but mostly gut instinct. I also don't choose Man Utd's opponents.

This is my team for Week 1. No Henry or Lampard or Terry or Cech, as together they'd already make up 70% of my budget. Instead, it's a budget-friendly team. For the first week, try to pick players that did not play last season e.g. Crespo, Park Ji Sung, Del Horno, the promoted teams, as their values are dirt cheap. Goals are 10 points this season, inclusive of a shot on goal. Clean sheets are 5 points. Personally I fabour 3-4-3 for my formation, as I consider strikers the best bet for points. Buy defenders primarily on the strength of the defensive unit and the opposition, as this normally overrides the defender's independent scoring potential.

Didier Drogba

Chelsea are facing promoted Wigan and the Ivorian is likely to start after his brace against Arsenal. I expect him to get good service no matter who the midfielders are, and Wigan may have their hands full dealing with the powerful Drogba.
One assist, but a largely ineffectual game. He's a Mourinho favourite, so I might keep him.


Djibril Cisse

It was a toss up between Cisse and Morientes but I'm going for speed against Boro's experienced backline. With Liverpool away, a counter-attacking game would suit Benitez and Cisse very well. I expect Cisse to test Schwarzer fully.
Just heard he isn't in the starting lineup as Benitez is playing one-up. Let's hope Liverpool need him to come on.


Kevin Phillips

This one I'm not so sure. However, traditionally Villa are always good at home, and with Berger and Solano supplying crosses, Phillips might get a few chances. He has something to prove after last season with Southampton.
Spot on! Wasn't too sure about it, but Phillips came up with a goal an assist in a match where Villa weren't all that good.


Laurent Robert

He takes all the free kicks and corners and has more crosses than Constantine. Tottenham have impressed pre-season but could be shocked by a new-look Pompey. Expect one of Robert's crosses to be pinged in.
A poor Pompey performance, but Robert had 3 SOTs, so not too bad an individual performance.


Matthew Etherington

I based this choice on hearsay that he was on fire last season for WHUFC. Having played for Spurs before, Etherington is not new to the Premiership, and is a wiser player now.
In retrospect a huge risk, seeing how it was WHUFC's first Premiership match, but a goal and an assist justified his selection. West Ham has balls and Etherington proved it.


Cristiano Ronaldo

This is the gut feel I was talking about. I picked Ronaldo because I couldn't afford Ruud or Rooney, so Ronnie will have to do. I expect him to provide the ammo for United's in-form strikers. With his cross- and shot-rate, I just need one to go in.
So much for gut feel. He's the only one of United's three Rs that didn't play nor score.


Trevor Sinclair

Man City seem to have made some quality close season signings, but it could be one of the old guard who could impress. No longer overshadowed by SWP, Sinclair could impress and add to his England cap collection this season, beginning with WBA.
Quiet game. Might not pick him again soon.


Asier del Horno

Yes you can hear the snickering Ah Bengs already, but he may have the last laugh. Priced at a measly 5 units, the horny one has impressed preseason, and may have done enough to put him ahead of Gallas and Bridge for the left-back slot. Free clean sheet.
About that free clean sheet, that's four points in the bag. Add assorted tackles, clearances, crosses, interceptions, fouls won, and you've got yourself good valur for five units.


Kolo Toure

With Campbell injured, I still fancy Arsenal to get a clean sheet against a toothless Newcastle. Toure has better stats than Senderos, and is slightly cheaper. No brainer there.
Clean sheet + two SOTs. At least 10 points there.


Nigel Reo-Coker

The West Ham actually plays attacking midfield, but has been mislabelled a defender. Yahoo's loss, my gain. He is this year's Quinton Fortune, earning clean sheets and attacking points as well. A manager's dream.
Fantastic choice. Energetic attacking midfielder that could produce many chances for Harewood, Sheringham, Zamora etc. Hope he can cement a place in my team.


Edwin van der Sar

The answer to our goalkeeping woes? Perhaps not. But I still fancy him to keep a clean sheet, with planty of work to do against the aerial bombardment of Cahill, Ferguson, Beattie et al.
Yes! Saved United on a few occasions and played well. He's a first choice in my team from now on.

Old vs Young

Watched our guys play soccer today: Old vs Young

Well it was sort of a mix, but it was fun seeing fitness vs skill (something like that).

Me? I was sitting by the sideline, and i really can't wait to play again. Hopefully next week, but I know of two people for starters who wouldn't allow it. Well, let's see how I feel.

The game went well, but goals were hard to come by. In the end there were three teams of eight people each, and each game lasted 10 minutes.

It was really difficult to score thanks to a small field, smaller goalposts, big defenders and bigger egos.

Finally there was a little skirmish between Ben and Jianliang. It's all water under the bridge now though. I know Ben isn't that sort of person, so I guess something just snapped. As for Jianliang, not really his fault as his abrasive style is just his nature.

Enjoyed myself but was soon itchy. How to play next week?

Above-30s vs Under-30s: The real thing. And I don't mean waist inches. Hope I can make it! =]

Steven Wright's quotes

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some more of his gems:

1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3- Half the people you know are below average.
4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9- All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33- Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!

Is this guy for real?

A Chan Y Leong wrote in to The New Paper with a suggestion to redesign our state flag. What planet is he from? His reasons are at best nonsensical, and I suspect he's one of those who get something so nonsensical published to get people to wonder if he's for real. Which is what I'm wondering.


"I think it is time we redesigned our national flag.
Other countries have done so, including Russia, UK and the US. [Aaron: Have they? I only recall them doing so because of the breakup of the Soviet Union, the formation of 50 states for the former, and I don't recall UK overlaying the Scottish flag with the St George's Cross recently.]

The design of our flag was good for the early days of nationhood but it should be changed to reflect our modernity. [Further change to reflect change: always a good reason.]

First, the red and white are too similar to those on the Indonesian flag. Viewed from afar without the aid of binoculars, one can be misled. [In that case, Poland and Monaco are in for a sea change too. You'd be misled if you didn't know what country you were in. This is like asking officers' shoulder-boards on the No 4 to be changed to yellow so we corporals know how to greet them. Who could be bothered?]

The half moon crescent on our flag can make others think that we are an Islamic nation when we are multicultural and multi-religious. [All the better that we are at peace with our Muslim neighbours then. But maybe we should include Buddha, a cross, and a Hindu symbol to make everyone happy. Never mind that it is just a SYMBOL that has been clearly explained. Why not we swap with Indonesia? That way they have the crescent and we don't.]

The five stars standing for various virtues are passe. [Values are transcendental and are NEVER passe. What do you want to reflect our modernity? Five cars arising out of the stormy CTE?]

Hanging the flag the proper way has sometimes been a problem, and some people have indeed done this wrongly. [Then it's a people problem, not a flag problem.]

The new design should be such that the flag still looks right whichever way one hangs it. The British, Japanese, Israeli and Vietnamese all have flags which address this. [Gee, symmetry, such a key issue! If symmetry is criteria for a state flag, USA better get scared.]"


This guy is nuts.

Verbosity & Bombast

There are many cases of too many words spoiling the truth and below are some of them.

It is frequent to see PR firms use the following spiel when acknowledging customer feedback:
"We would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr Chan for his valuable feedback." (15 words)
Instead, why not use this?
"We thank Mr Chan for his feedback."
As a general rule, don't make someone read 10 words when five will convey the same meaning.

Here are more common examples:
because of the fact that - because
in the event that - if
each and every individual - each person
the vast majority of - most
the question as to whether - whether
an increasing number of - more

Here is an extreme example:
Aberration is the hallmark of Homo Sapiens while longanimous placability and condonation are the indicia of supermundane omniscience.
simply means:
To err is human; to forgive is divine.

KISS: Keep It Simple, Stoopid

Quick-start guide to pocket billiards: World champion techniques for improving your game

I read: Mizerak, S., Laurance, E., & Forsyth, J. (2004). Quick-start guide to pocket billiards: World champion techniques for improving your game. Chicago, IL: Contemporary Books.

Used to be crazy about pool during Poly. Having lost all my form, this might be a good place to start.

Sin

The reason why even as Christians why we confer a value to the seriousness of sin is due to the human desire for justice. Punishment is meted out according the how heinous a crime is. The punishment for fighting, for example, is much less severe than smiting someone from the face of the earth. Yet God says that no sin is more serious than another. Does this mean that all sins should be punished equally? That a murderer and a spitter should both hang, or just be fined $500?

Not so. That is just the human mind extrapolating the Word of God to suit the human justice system. Instead, I surmise that the system we have, though imperfect, is adequate. Why? Because ultimate justice is not for us or the courts to decide, nor is it the time to decide. On Judgment Day, all will be made plain, and no one can say they didn't have their day in court. On that day, a sin called by any other name is still a sin, and a sinner likewise is just as culpable.

Let us Christians not be preoccupied with justice here on earth, but rather to give everyone the opportunity to be represented by the greatest defence attorney, Jesus Christ, who can boast free services and a 100% success rate.

Paulaner Brauhaus

I ate: Grilled pork knuckles & pork dumpling Glrman sausage sampler with sauerkraut & mashed potatoes at Paulaner Brauhaus, Millenia Walk

The pork knuckles was jsut like one big sio bak!!!

Growing from Strength to Strength

Pastor Koo, 7 Aug 05

The church grows in quantity and quality.

The church needs seven types of people who are:
1. Ready
2. Courageous
3. Loyal
4. Understanding of the times
5. Serving voluntarily
6. Determined
7. United

Soul harvest: The world takes sides

I read
LaHaye, T., & Jenkins, J. (1998). Soul harvest: The world takes sides. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
08-04-2005 23:14:12

Rollerblading Outing

We had a good rollerblading outing today, did our Men's ALG. I didn't rollerblade myself, but that was more out of necessity than choice.

But still our guys had fun and my friend Ryan and his friends had a good time learning rollerblading from our guys. Pray that this can be a platform to reach out to them. They seem very keen on co-ed outings though! Still, if you ignore the intent at least we can get them to come to church.

Pastor spoke to us about intimacy after dinner and I think we had a good response to his probing questions. Our guys had problem paying attention though, a lot of natural beauty around us! You know, the sea sand, sun...

Seven Ways to Sexual Purity

By Pastor Koo, on 6 Aug 05 at East Coast Park, after our Men's ALG Rollerblading Outing

1. Keep away from temptation
2. Be accountable
3. Fill your mind with good things
4. Engage in wholesome activities
5. Channel your energy positively
6. Be involved in people's lives
7. Be filled with the Holy Spirit

Q: When is looking at a girl a sin? What is the difference between appreciation and lust?
A: Control your thoughts and desires.
Illustration: You can't stop a bird from flying above your head, but you can stop it from building a nest on your head.

Bowling god

What a pity.

My team was leading with one game to go, and then in the final frame the winning team came up with a turkey to win by 6 pinfalls by 1419 to 1413.

Be fittingly, my Comd got best bowler and his team won, so must give face a bit lah. And twice his secretary had to go up to collect. =] He had gone for meeting, so she had to. Not unwillingly though.

Me? I got 250 pinfalls over two games. Not bad. 133 in the second game.

Yahoo! Fantasy Football

Welcome all players, esp first-timers.

I encourage all of you to commit to this game for the rest of this season, as you need to log in only every Saturday morning/afternoon to ensure you do well. Once a week, that's all.
Feel free to ask this bulletin board if you need help. I'm sure the old-timers can help.

These are our players so far:
1. Kenneth Yee
2. Jasmine Tang
3. Benedict Chen
4. Tay Teckseng
5. Tan Chongkiat
6. Keh Chienyung
7. Edgar Chong

I've also invited the following people, so do encourage them to join.

Jeremy Toh
Edwin Chong
Amos Pang
Benjamin Chew
Aaron Lai
Clarence Roger Williams
Hung Hingyau
Kelvin Tan
Luo Lianbin
Nicholas Ang
Theophane Chan
Samuel Pan
Chan Zikai
Hafiz Rahman Nordin
Matthew Chua

Can you forward your invitations to these people?

Comatose commas, punctured punctuation

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Quote of the Day

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
- Henry Adams

BOBI, Keypress

I put this reminder on my phone to remind me to sign the book in book out (BIBO or BOBI) book and the keypress book as I always have a bad habit of forgetting to sign, resulting in one confinement so far. It also functions as an alarm in the morning and a going home siren in the evening. Soon it will be no more. Hahahaha!

e-Prep

I guess I should forfeit my e-prep credits.

Firstly, I need to co-pay i.e. I pay $1, SAF pays $1. Why should I take a course I don't need.

Secondly, I've got no time on my hands as it is!

To teach or not to teach?

I'm still thinking about the whole contract teaching thing. I think I should give ita shot, if only just to fill post-ORD immediately with employment. I figure the more I sit on it, ORD is just gonna come and go and I'll still be here.

Driving Theory

I wish I can reach a decision about pursuing a driving license. I'm now neither here nor there, and hope I can tell myself to either go for it or not. I guess I'm that sort of people that's externally inspired. =]

Prednisalone

Yay! I've stopped steroids since 19 July. That's 16 days liao. A marked improvement since I started steroids, but is this really the best it can get? I think not. What's the next step that will take me towardsn full recovery? I don't know. We shall see. But when in doubt, I look back to how I played beach soccer, table-tennis, volleyball, water polo, etc with wild abandon during Church Camp in June 05. My time will come.

Exercise!

I'm trying to exercise recently, beginning with non-strenous stuff like dumbbells and push-ups. Am keeping to my regime so far, but hope can upgrade to jogging and swimming soon, esp football.

Really hope I can sweat liberally without fear of repercussions and be that active guy I used to know.

Fit For Infantry

I need to book my medical and dental FFI next month. Thus begins the baby steps to ORD. Then comes signing clearance, then returning my BII stores. Can't hardly wait.

Food Fiesta 2005

I'm feeling quite stressed already about Agape's Food Fiesta 2005. Why? Because I'm in charge of decorations, and I know nuts about it!!!

Maybe I can calm myself down and put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) rationally.

Firstly, there's not much decoration needed as individual stalls will be doing their own deco. I need to source disposable tablecloths for all stalls, as well as decorate the hall a bit. For this I need to enlist the help of artistically-proficient people ie not me. Hmmm, let's see: Nana, Lerane, Angela come to mind already. Shall ask Pastor Nettie what she wants.

Secondly, I need to explore how my Men's ALG, most of whom can't cook, can raise $1300 in food sales alone. Diow. So far we have a few options, but we cannot cannibalise other ALG's ideas:
1. You tiao stuffed with coleslaw
2. Pizza bread (might clash with Luee's bacon toast)
3. Satay
4. Dim sum

Ok I need suggestions: Stuff that sells well, but minimal skill needed. We're not scared of hard work, but we need to be realistic.

Tappable resources:
1. Randolph's wife?
2. Spec mess auntie?
3. Theophane's desserts?
4. Samuel's SAF cutlery and crockery
5. Stanley's kangtao (somehow he can always find a way)
6. Eddy's shop (can get cheaper)
7. Jackson's publicity skills (the human loudhailer)
8. Amos, Laifu, Samuel, Stanley, Eddy, Jackson, Nicholas' mother's cooking skills?
9. Joshua and Nicholas most likely can't tap. Why? You must know who their better halves are. Sigh.
10. Female friends who can cook or bake? I think Sab can enlist her Italian restaurant? Free publicity on international radio too.
11. Perhaps Zhenting's mum? Think she can cook too right? Must psycho Zhenting.
12. Pastor Koo's Seremban lobang

Wah seriously running outta ideas. No wonder I'm stressed. Don't know what to do. For starters I'll be asking our Men's ALG this Saturday for ideas. Pray for innovation and inspiration.

EPL Fantasy Football

I'm quite excited over this EPL season as I've invited a record number of my friends to join my Fantasy League. Over the next 40 weeks, we will tussle and struggle to see who can pick the best players on a 100m budget. Consistency is the key, and last year I finished in the top 1% in the world, so I'm somewhere there lah. Let's see where I end up. A good start means everything, and I'll do well to pick last year's top performers i.e. Lampard, Henry, Cech, Heinze, Gerrard et al.

I've got eight teams in my league so far, and I expect more as people check their email. Feel free to invite people I might have missed out, on the condition that I know who they are.

Pls refer to the earlier post if you need more info.

Thanks!

Bde Cohesion Day

Wah this weekend is quite shiok.

First, tomorrow we're not even coming to camp. Instead we're going to SAFRA Yishun for an in-house bowling tournament at 0830hrs. I'm in Team 8 with my S3, MAJ Tan Leong Boon, also Edwin's brother-in-law. After that, we fall out!

Then on Monday 8 Aug, we have a National Day Observance Parade (which I'm not involved in), then games (which I'm not involved in), then we go home (which I'm involved in).

Then comes National Day. After which on Wednesday 10 Aug, we work in the morning, although everyone will be in holiday mood, then in the afternoon we go to Carnival@Marina for Army Family Day, where I have some coupons to use.

On Thursday we work, Friday we work. Friday confirm no need to stay and we won't see much of Comd anyway and Weepoh owes me TWO staying back days.

As I said, shiok.

Fantasy Football

Attention all EPL Fantasy Football fans!

I am proud to announce that you can now create your team at http://uk.premiership.fantasysports.yahoo.com/football now! All you need is your Yahoo! account and email address and you can create your team. I have formed a private group The Group of Death and am inviting you to join, via this blog and email. My group ID is "4262" and the password is "12345".

Smoking Kills Non-smokers

1. ALmost 85% of tobacco smoke comes from the burning end of the cigarette (sidestream smoke). Compared to mainstream smoke directly inhaled by a smoker, sidestream smoke contains three times more tar, five times more carbon monoxide and twice as much nicotine.

2. One bartender, waiter or club worker dies from tobacco smoke inhaled during work every week.

3. Second-hand smoke levels in pubs and bars are 450% higher in a home with at least one smoker.

4. Current ventilation systems still leave the air with up to 2500 times the acceptable risk levels for hazardous air pollutants.

5. A Singapore Medical Journal study showed healthcare payments and lost production due to smoking-related disease and death amounts to $839 million yearly.

Dumb Questions

Q: Why was the blonde walking in the desert carrying a car door?
A: So if it got hot, she could wind down the window for the breeze.

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A: A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

8 Things You Didn't Need to Know

1. Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life.
2. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds, a teenager even less.
3. The giant squid has the largest eye in the natural world, about 10 feet in diameter.
4. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
5. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
6. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
7. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
8. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

What is the longest word that is typed with only the top row of a QWERTY keyboard?

A Child of God

I finally led someone to Christ last night! After attending Agape a few times, Ben decided over the phone yesterday to rededicate his life to Christ, so I led him in a simple sinner's prayer. I feel personally responsible for him, so I pray for God's strength and wisdom in guiding him.

It started with him playing soccer with us, so don't underestimate JOEL.

SonicFest05

SonicFlood was gooooood. Went to SonicFest on the last night, 30 Jul (Sat), and they really saved the best for last. Went with Julian, Amos and Teckseng, and we all got in through free tickets! Managed to spot Kevin before everything got heavy and we found a good spot on the damp grass (which was everywhere).

The SonicEdge Band was up first and they really are something to behold. Loud but yet they had the songs with the hooks. Really refreshing to worhsip God that way in Fort Canning under the stars with an NDP helicopter hovering overhead and 3000 people with hands raised.

But they were just curtain-raisers for the main event, SonicFlood. The Australian band quickly revved the crowd up with their popular hits Open the Eyes of My Heart and I Could Sing of Your Love Forever. They then played songs from their new album.

But the best part was when they led 3000 people in a impromptu altar call. Fantastic. THey also did solos, and the mohawked drummer is pretty darn good, as was the Thunder from Down Under bassist.

Looking forward to SonicFest06!