Joke of the Day

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet up.
The bear says, 'If I roar in a tree in North America, the entire forest shivers with fear.'
The lion says, 'If I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid.'
'Big deal!' says the chicken. 'All I have to do is cough, and the whole planet craps itself.'

The teacher asks one of her pupils if he knows his numbers.
'Yes I do,' he says. 'My father taught me.'
'Good. What comes after three?'
'Four,' answers the boy.
'What comes after 6?'
'Seven.'
'Very good!' says the teacher. 'Your dad did a good job. What comes after 10?'
'Jack.'

A murderer is found guilty and is sentenced to death by firing squad. His last request was to choose his firing squad. He chose Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yards.